Two tiny miracles
by Loz06
Summary: LeoMargaret Sequel to Two in twenty million...Minor CJSimon...
1. 1

Title: Two tiny miracles

Author: Loz 

E-Mail: loz06@yahoo.com

Rating: PG 13, however this contains descriptions of female reproductive organs and procedures involving pregnancy, if you think it's not for you, you might like to consider skipping this one.

Category: Leo/Margaret

Series: The sequel to Two in twenty million I swore I'd never write…46,000 words later it's here.

Spoilers: Simon's in this but no real reference to S3.

Archive (if applicable): The National Library http://westwingstories.com/library. BTW on that would anyone else consider sending/authorizing their stuff to go there cause I just about monopolize the Leo/Margaret section. It'll find its way to FF.net as well.

Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated. 

Summary: Summarize 46,000 words you've got to be kidding.

Disclaimers: To Aaron I say 'bite me.' Nah just cause I'm jealous and you know he owns them and all.

Author's Notes: This has been five months, countless late nights and occasionally frustration in the writing and there's an inch and a half thick of printed research on my desk from this story but again I hold a degree in education, not medicine. Further where my information ran out I've used my common sense, fortunately there's not to many places. I've tried to make this as accurate as possible, but women have babies everyday so I apologize for inaccuracies that might occur, incidentally I now know more than a woman, who's said she'll never have kids, could ever want to know. Repeating myself in the sequel I really hope this doesn't end up like an ER fic for you, I've tried to explain the medical procedures and put most things in plain English.

Thank you to my laptop for not reminding me who's in charge and dying half-way through a save thus deleting my recent work and those people who read in parts and nit picked the mistakes, you know who you are and it's all greatly appreciated.

Finally for the purposes of having happen to CJ what I wanted to have happen to her and the people around her, I've had to change her blood type from AB to A. Hopefully that will be the only inconsistency to the last story.

*

The warm shower water is a blessing, tapping at the top of her head like a tiny massage and gently meandering its way through her red hair and down the contours of her face after a long day.

The strangeness of the day is lost as she concentrates only on the feeling of the water and her breathing. She pushes aside the pain that has been her companion today, a pleasant change is the lack of nausea and tender breasts she usually has to cope with on a daily basis, however the distinct feeling of no longer being pregnant is worrying.

The gentle swaying of her body brings her back from her trance like state, her head light, the nausea that is her companion daily makes its return before elevating into even stronger pain. When she gets her hair and water out of her eyes the red clots circling the drain are revealed to her.

The pain has her bending over, leaning for support against the cold tiled wall, the warm water is no longer a comfort as her cries of pain and anguish bounce off the walls and beyond while she watches the loss of another pregnancy, blood clots and her barely formed fetus disappearing down the drain.

*

It's become her bodies' natural timer to wake before the alarm clock since she started at the White House. In this few minutes before the alarm announces the start of their day, Margaret watches Leo in his typical light sleep, his face buried in the pillow. When he groans to let her know he's woken up Margaret hits the snooze button cutting off the classical music station he prefers before an errant hand of his starts slapping her in the face in its hunt for the snooze button.

"Morning." He smiles turning over to look at her, Margaret poised and ready with the thermometer.

"Morning." She smiles kissing him briefly before sliding the thermometer under his tongue.

"Do we have to do this?" His statement garbled as the thermometer wiggles under his tongue.

"I want you to stay healthy." She scolds playfully, rescuing the thermometer and taking a reading of one hundred.

"So am I Ok?" He asks rubbing his eyes.

"You're good." Margaret informs him as he rolls out of bed and heads to the shower. She watches his form by the scant morning light as he adjusts the water to a comfortable temperature before taking off his clothes and stepping under the warm water.

Intrigued Margaret steps into the bathroom inspecting his silhouette behind the frosted glass before taking off her silk pajamas and opening the shower door. She steps closer to the water as Leo rinses the last of the shampoo from his hair.

"Hey." He says reaching an arm around her waist and pulling her under the water.

"You've put on weight." She says before throwing back her head letting the water soak into her hair.

"I have." His grip loosens a little, confusion and trepidation in his voice. "It's probably the corticosteriods, they're supposed to stimulate my appetite."

"Or the lack of exercise since you've gone back to work, or the improvement in your taste and smell." Margaret teases wrapping herself around him that Leo doesn't respond to.

"Hey." She says in reply to the hesitation. "I love you in any package you come in."

"I know," Leo smiles reaching up to kiss her.

*

"Leo." Margaret says quietly after shutting the door behind her. "Simon Donovan is here." He looks up briefly from what he's doing and quickly to his watch that reads five past six. It's early for anyone to be stopping by unannounced.

"Sure." He accepts leaving what he's reading momentarily as Margaret opens the door for the handsome Secret Service Agent. "Hey Simon." He greets as Margaret closes the door, it doesn't go unnoticed by both how tired and fatigued he looks.

"Good morning Mr. McGarry." He greets standing stiffly on the other side of Leo's desk.

"Leo, please. You on your way to work?" Leo asks.

"I've just come from there." Simon begins. "I came by to tell you CJ had another miscarriage last night, she won't be coming to work today."

The door opens to Margaret's office immediately, her face a mixture of shock and sadness.

"I'm very sorry," Leo beings waiting a beat before concluding. "I didn't realize she was pregnant again."

"We didn't tell anyone this time, last time we told people early and they got excited and then CJ miscarried..." His voice fades and Margaret's head drops.

"Is CJ all right?" Leo asks hesitantly.

There's no reply that Simon can muster, his head just shaking sadly and Margaret swears she can see tears welling. In the twelve months since Leo's transplant the four have become strung together, CJ to Margaret with her concern for Leo during the transplant, Leo joined the equation when he started seeing Margaret and Simon when he was forced onto CJ in a professional scenario and then quiet willingly accepted by CJ in a social one soon after that.

"Simon, do you want to talk about it?" Margaret asks quietly.

*


	2. 2

*

The mess is quiet this early of the morning, behind the scenes food is being prepared for the day but in the meantime the tables are empty and silent. The three sit triangularly around the table, warm cups of coffee from the pots upstairs in their hands, waiting for Simon to begin.

"Premature termination of a pregnancy before the fetus can survive outside of the uterus, that's what they call it." Simon says almost ironically. "It's like JAR, just another rifle, it goes no way to explaining the damage and the grief it has a power to cause."

"It was terrible." He begins moving his hands around the cup, "I found her in the shower when I got home, she was just crying and crying, gasping and choking on her own sobs. I knew she wasn't crying about the physical pain, I knew it was because she knew it was happening again. She was leaning against the wall and there was all this blood..."

He pauses and Margaret thinks he might break down, slowly she inches a comforting hand over his encouraging him to continue.

"There was so much blood, I've seen people shot before, I've fired my gun but I've never seen so much blood come from someone who's still alive and standing up. I didn't know what to do except get her out of there when she'd stopped bleeding and get her to a hospital."

"What did they say?" Margaret asks squeezing the hand gently resting on his.

"It was worse than last time, last time they told us she'd had a complete miscarriage its the same sort of symptoms, this time the nurse told us it was an incomplete miscarriage. They had to do a dilation and curettage with a curette where they scraped the remaining..."

He stops again and pulls his hand from Margaret's pressing them to his eyes.

"Contents they called it, the placenta, to prevent infection. The whole time before the general anesthetic she just cried and cried, she didn't know what they were about to do to her, she didn't care, all that she was thinking about and I could see it in her eyes was 'I've let him down again, I've failed again'."

"Did you...?" Margaret broaches.

"I told her it was ok, it wasn't her fault, I still loved her no matter what." Simon tells them as he stares into his coffee.

"She knows," Margaret whispers squeezing his hand. "Are there some tests they can run?"

"Nothing, they won't do anything except smile sympathetically." Simon shakes his head. "They can only tell us it might have been an abnormal or defective fetus."

"How far along was she?" Leo asks.

"Eight weeks." Simon says barely. "We thought this time we were all right, we were about to come and tell you."

"Surely there's something." Margaret insists and she's met with a somber shake of Simon's head.

"Miscarriage isn't medically significant till you've suffered three or more, then they call it 'recurrent miscarriage.."

"Are you going to try again?" Margaret asks gently.

"I don't know if CJ can cope." Simon tells her his eyes wide and honest. "I don't think she could cope with loosing another child and on top of that having to go through medical histories, the tests for sexually transmitted diseases, the blood tests for hormonal imbalances and malfunctions in the immune system, the tests for chromosomal abnormalities and genetic diseases, the X-rays for blockage, scar tissue or fibroid of her reproductive organs."

"You can't give up." Margaret says encouragingly.

"We did everything right this time, we made doubly sure." Simon shakes his head as he counts off his fingers. "No smoking, eating well, no alcohol or recreational drugs, no medications what so ever, she wasn't sick or had had a recent serious infection or disease and she cut back here a work ever more for her stress levels."

"Where is CJ now?" Leo asks hesitantly.

"They wanted to keep her at GW overnight for observation, when I left her this morning she was finally asleep. When she wasn't crying last night she was so quiet but I could see her mind turning over behind her eyes, I knew she'd be torturing herself with blame and it took me all night just to get her to wrap her arms around me and cry on my shoulder and all I knew I could say was I loved her no matter what and this wasn't her fault, when she finally got some sleep the nurse came and gave me a prescription for these antibiotics to get for her to stop any infection."

"You should talk to someone...a professional." Margaret advises.

"They gave us a name of a grief councilor." Simon's hands shake as he reaches for a card in his pocket.

"It's ok." Margaret assures him when he becomes too visibly upset to even get it out of his pocket.

"You should go back and be with CJ, tell her not to worry about rushing back, take the time she needs." Leo says evenly.

Simon nods thankfully. "We'll be at home after this afternoon."

"Give CJ our love." Margaret wishes as he weaves through the tables back out of the mess. 

They watch the man who carries a gun for almost all hours of the day, who survived Rosslyn and has been a part of the Presidents detail wander back up the stairs, his footsteps heavy with grief and disappointment. There's vulnerability and a feeling of helplessness in each step that you would never usually see in a Secret Service Agent.

*


	3. 3

Awaking with a startle that night Leo reaches across the other side of the bed for Margaret only to find the spot she usually sleeps in empty. The bottom sheet is still warm he finds as he runs his hand over the depression in her pillow and discovers a tiny damp circle. It takes a moment to orient himself and a little longer for his eyes to adjust to the level of light in the room, only to realize she's not there or in the bathroom.

He listens for sound from the kitchen that doesn't come. It's the same gentle sob which woke him that reaches his ears as he listens for the opening and closing of the fridge door and alerts him to her presence.

As he fumbles for his robe in the dull light, his ears remain attuned for any more quite cries.

Barely he makes her out against the scarce city light, the eighth floor is too high for streets lights and he watches for a moment as she leans with her forehead on the glass, her brilliant red hair protecting any view of her face he might have. With her arms wrapped around her, Margaret sobs barely once again and shivers in the early morning cold that travels through the glass window. Her own robe hangs haphazardly off her shoulders, the tie hanging limply almost on the ground.

She turns slowly and briefly as Leo makes quiet steps across to her, he wraps the robe around her securing the tie before anything else.

"Hey." He starts, pushing her hair behind her ears revealing her tear stained cheeks. "It was lonely in the bed."

He's met without a verbal reply, only a half attempt at a smile and her focus barely wanes from the sleeping city.

"Margaret?" He questions compassionately, this time extracting a response.

"I was thinking about..." She starts softly as if it were a normal thing for this time of night.

"Thinking about what?" Leo encourages her to continue.

"I was thinking about CJ and..."

"Oh hey." He says soothingly not wanting her to worry too much about CJ, he brings her into his embrace as she dissolves into tears again.

"Do you still want to marry me?" Margaret asks after a moment, pulling back from his strong shoulders and taking him a little by surprise.

"Of course." Leo says reaching up to stroke the side of her face.

"I'm so afraid I'm going to loose you." Her voice is hoarse and barely audible. It's right now Leo wishes he had the strength to sweep her up and carry her back to the bedroom. 

"You're not going to loose me." He says firmly with two solid hands cupping her cheeks as tears well on the bottom of her eyes again. 

He knows she worries colloquially if the sun will rise in the morning and that CJ's miscarriages must be placing morality in clearer focus for her, in this case his. He knows the sixty percent survival chance after transplant is never far from her mind if not her daily companion.

"Marry me." Margaret asks covering one of his hands with hers.

"Yes." Leo nods firmly reaching up with a kiss to reassure of what she already knows. "Anywhere, anytime."

"I love you." Margaret sighs taking her focus from Leo to the city for one moment.

"I love you too, come back to bed." He says taking her hand and guiding her back into the bed where he wraps himself around her for the rest of the night.

*

The gentle depression on her side of the bed rouses Margaret in the morning. The masculine scent of Leo's aftershave is the first thing to reach her senses, her eyes slowly opening as she feels him carefully caressing her hand in his.

"What time is it?" She asks craning her neck to look at the clock that reads six thirty. Her nocturnal wanderings she realizes have resulted in her over sleeping, the look back at him where he sits on the thin edge of the mattress is apologetic.

"Don't worry about it." He smiles as he knots his tie for the day.

A comfortable silence settles in as she watches his hands nimbly knot and weave his tie.

"I was serious last night." Margaret says evenly, breaking the silence and Leo's effort to do his own tie.

"I was deadly serious." He replies abandoning his tie in favor of leaning over and kissing her passionately.

"I'm getting married." Margaret says smiling as he hovers inches from her face smiling back equally as wide before kissing her again.

"I'm going to be late." Leo says regretfully sitting back up again before his clothes come off again.

"I'm getting up," Margaret smiles pushing back the doona as much as she can.

"Can you do me a favor?" Leo asks as he does up his shoes and Margaret pulls on her robe. "Ring CJ in about a fortnight and ask if you can come around and see how she is, it doesn't matter when it is, I want to know what's going on and when she's coming back but I don't want to be picking up the phone and pumping her for information."

"So you're sending your much sweeter, more sensitive fiancée‚e." Margaret rephrases kneeling on the bed and wrapping her arms around Leo resting her chin on his shoulder.

"You could say I'm sending my better half." He jokes as he does up his last shoe and Margaret kisses him once on the neck. "Seriously though..." He begins turning around to face Margaret. "CJ will feel much more comfortable confiding in you than me."

"Yeah." Margaret agrees solemnly. "I'll see you in there." With one last kiss she disappears towards a shower.

*


	4. 4

CJ seemed glad of the company when Margaret rang her later in the month than she'd intended and when CJ opened the door to Margaret around lunch time on a Thursday, her smile was bigger than Margaret had expected.

"You want coffee?" CJ asks as she leads Margaret towards the kitchen. Lavender incense is being burnt somewhere Margaret notices, the scent fills the room lightly as she looks over the rest of the decor. A photo of CJ and Simon on their wedding day captures her attention and while CJ makes the coffee she stands remembering the small intimate gathering, just the four of them. Her thoughts turn to her own as yet unplanned and unconsidered wedding, knowing she really wants to do something about it soon.

"It was a good day." CJ says bringing Margaret back to reality and handing her a warm mug.

"You guys moved so fast," Margaret smiles shaking her head.

"We did, let's see there was Leo's return to work, then about three months later Simon was on my detail, a month after that we met socially, 2 months after that we married and conceived our first child, 2 months later we lost that baby..." CJ's voice dips till it almost can't be heard as she remembers.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." Margaret offers apologetically.

"No don't worry about it, 2 months after that I was pregnant again and then 8 weeks later I had another miscarriage. Quite a lot in twelve months." CJ smiles putting the photo back on the cabinet.

"How do you feel?" Margaret asks following CJ to the generous couches.

"Good now, some days though I couldn't get out of bed let alone out of the house. I couldn't open the blinds let alone face the world and I sent Simon into panic stations because he just didn't know what to do about me. I'm thinking about coming back to work next week."

Margaret smiles knowing Leo will be pleased.

"What about you?" CJ asks misreading the smile on Margaret's face that there is some news..., which there is.

"Well." Margaret sighs putting down her coffee. "Leo and I are getting married."

CJ laughs and throws her arms around Margaret. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." Margaret smiles.

"Well?" CJ pushes for more information.

"It's funny you should ask for more details because I realized while looking at your wedding photo it has been a month since we talked about it."

"You two are hopeless." CJ laughs good-naturedly.

"Why because we didn't sprint like you and Simon." Margaret teases. "I love him CJ." Her voice drops back to serious. "I don't know how long I'll have with him and I'm just grateful for everyday we have together, I'm in no hurry."

"Nobody doubts how much you love each other, you've just got to look at your history and the way you are around each other." CJ compliments and Margaret feels a tiny blush rise across her face.

"I'd be a mess right now in your position." Margaret offers, swiftly changing the topic as she brings her mug to her lips.

"Well..." CJ starts picking up her own mug again. "We've both had some intensive counseling and I've got a new focus...finding out what's going wrong."

"I thought...?"

"I got a second opinion, a new doctor who thinks two miscarriages these days, especially for someone in her thirties and forties, is significant enough to run some tests." CJ tells her confidently.

"When are you going?" Margaret asks, her engagement in the conversation greater now she knows CJ will finally be able to know what's going wrong.

"Well I made the appointment Saturday so Simon could come, but when he came onto my detail they filled his position and since then he's been floating from spot to spot since, Saturday he's in Canada with one of Hoynes' family, we only found out yesterday."

A sympathetic 'oh' escapes Margaret's lips and the two women settle into a comfortable silence drinking the last of their coffee.

"What are you having done, will you be all right, and do you need someone to come with you?" Margaret asks hurriedly, her concern speeding up the delivery of her words.

"I'd love for you to come." CJ smiles and sighs gratefully. "I have no idea what to expect, it would be lovely to have a friendly face there."

"As long as I don't have to donate a vital organ." Margaret quips and the two women dissolve into laughter.

*

Margaret doesn't hear the key in the door or it close after him, she doesn't realize Leo is home until he wraps two arms around her as she prepares a small salad to compliment the rest of the meal she's cooking. She jumps in fright before he kisses the back of her neck and reaches over her shoulder for a piece of carrot.

"You scared me." Margaret states the obvious, swinging around to wrap her arms around him and kiss him thoroughly, out of her pocket she slides the thermometer and when her lips disconnect she slides it under his tongue with a disapproving groan from Leo.

"You left before I was awake this morning." Margaret reminds him, placing one hand on her forehead the other on his.

"I know." He says sticking the carrot stick in the other side of his mouth in a similar fashion to the thermometer.

"How was CJ?" He asks crunching on the carrot and then cringing as pain shoots through one side of his mouth while Margaret takes a reading.

"She has an appointment to have some tests done on Saturday to find out why she's miscarrying, but Simon is going to be out of the country." Margaret informs him.

"You told her you'd go with her." Leo smiles as Margaret slices tomato with her back to him again.

"I did." She says ceasing to stop as she waits for an answer.

It comes as he wraps his arms around her again, kissing at her neck and lastly whispering I love you.

"I love you too." She whispers back. "I'll get you a temp."

*


	5. 5

Friday evening he listens at the door as she negotiates with Human Resources, who quite often aren't too resourceful to humans but nonetheless control the temp supply.

Pretending to be engrossed in what he's doing, he watches out of the corner of his eye as she enters the office and stands on the other side of the desk waiting for him to look up. "It's Helen, you've had her before." She reminds him and he grunts a disinterested thanks.

It was never discussed more automatically assumed between the two of them that, work and relationship stayed apart and their office interaction shouldn't change.

"Margaret!" He calls her back, fascinated that she never seems to be more than two steps away from him.

"Yes."

"I'm saying goodnight to the President then I'm going." He tells her beginning to pack the things around her. "I'll see you at home." He says softer this time.

Margaret nods, returning to her own desk to pack up for the night. The last thing he does before wandering to the Oval is to leave a message with Human Resources that he won't need a temp tomorrow.

*

The first thing Margaret does the next morning when she wakes is to reach and look at the clock. Five past seven means she can sink back into Leo's warm embrace and wonder if anyone else feels as lucky as she does right now. She wonders till she realizes CJ probably says the same thing about Simon each morning as well.

"What time is CJ's thing?" Leo asks alerting Margaret to his conscious state while shifting behind her and pulling in closer around her.

"Nine at GW." Margaret answers lifting his left hand and kissing the back of it.

"I should be home around four." Leo says, his light breath tickling the back of her neck.

Rolling over Margaret kisses him good morning. "I want to talk about the wedding tonight."

Leo's smile outshines the pale morning light that is filtering into her room. "I was wondering when you were going to say something, I was beginning to think that marrying me was just a passing fad for you."

"Never." Margaret smiles kissing him again, when she breaks she reaches over him to grab the thermometer on his side of the bed.

*

The traffic heading south is heavy for the weekend, Leo's patience frays, fueled by his nerves as another car cuts him off on the way to Richmond. He feels bad because Margaret thinks he's working and Leo hopes the good intentions that have driven him to make this trip have a similar outcome.

From memory he pulls up outside the modest green house and he sits for a couple of minutes recalling the last time he was here and the people who live inside. Forcing himself to delay no longer he opens the car door and makes his way to the front door where the musical doorbell alerts those inside of his presence.

"Mr. McGarry what a lovely surprise." Margaret's mother greets when she opens the door.

"Leo, please." He corrects noticing she looks more tired since the last time he'd seen her and she's looking for her daughter. "Margaret isn't with me."

"You should come in, you must need a drink after that long drive." Margaret mother says ushering him inside.

"Thank you." Leo accepts relishing in the friendly hospitality.

"How's my daughter?" Sally asks as Leo follows her into the kitchen.

"She's good, she's at the hospital today with a friend who's having some tests done." Leo informs her.

"Sounds like my daughter, always looking out for someone else."

"True." Leo agrees watching the coffee being made.

"How have you been?" She asks casually.

"Good." Leo assures. "Better health than I have been in, in years."

"Is your husband about?" Leo continues casually.

"He's up the back somewhere, tinkering with something, I'll never understand that man." Sally tells him with a shake of her head.

"I remember what your daughter said last time we were here about telling you first and deciding if it'll kill your husband or not."

Margaret's mother stops pouring the coffee for a moment, looking wide eyed at Leo. "It's serious?" 

"It's not bad serious, at least I hope not." Leo says stepping from the other side of the kitchen to help with the coffee.

"I'd better sit down them." Sally sighs.

Leo ignores his coffee as they settle into the living area, his mind races with pre-prepared speeches none of which he'll ever be able to get out anyway.

"I want you to know I've considered all the obstacles, my age, my health and my life expectancy and I can see where this may be very strange and uncomfortable for you. I want to assure you while I'm eternally grateful for the sacrifice your daughter made for me, this is in no way repayment." Leo says as his hands move to explain his position, Margaret's mother draws in a sharp breath when he pauses at repayment. "I love your daughter and I'm here to ask for her hand in marriage."

There's a long silence as the look on Margaret's mothers face goes from neutral to shock and Leo's stomach falls to his toes the longer the silence goes. When she starts crying he fumbles for her handkerchief in his pocket, pressing it into Sally's hand.

"My husband will be so happy." She chokes between tears. "His only wish was to see his daughter happy, she is happy isn't she Mr. McGarry?"

"I will spend the rest of my life ensuring she is as happy as she is today, tomorrow." Leo assures her.

"I'd better go and get my husband." Margaret's mother laughs through her tears standing wobbly out of the chair. "Because traditionally she's not mine to give away."

"Thank you." Leo says stopping her as she passes him towards the back door.

*


	6. 6

Though he's lost some weight since last time Leo had seen him, Margaret's father is still a burley intimidating man whose every footstep could be heard as he made the short few steps from the backdoor to the living area. They hadn't spoken much last time and Leo suddenly felt rightfully nervous asking a man a good ten years younger than him for his daughters hand in marriage.

Going with what he knew had worked once before he repeats what he said to Margaret's mother, his eyes darting back to her during the speech, catching the tears in her eyes. Somewhere after 'hand in marriage' he finds himself on the end of a backslapping male embrace, dwarfed by the larger but gentler man.

"You just took ten years off my life, I know you're the right guy." Margaret father tells Leo.

"Thank you." Leo nods humbled by a reception he thought he'd have to work harder for.

"Treat her good won't you, she's my baby girl." He finishes softly.

*

It's one before Leo gets back on the road, feeling obligated to accept the lunch invitation that was extended to him.

"Hi, it's Leo McGarry, thanks." He says through the phone on the way home.

"How'd it go?" Jed Bartlet's voice filters down the line.

"Better than I expected." Leo answers honestly listening as the President reminds him that he told him everything would be all right.

"Are you free in two hours I have a favor to ask." Leo requests as he changes lanes.

"Sure, what's the matter?" The question gets the President's attention.

"I don't want to discuss it on this line, I'll let you know when I get there." Leo says before ending the phone call.

He picks the phone up again dialing into Margaret's house expecting to get an answer. When her pleasant voice encourages him to leave a message he apologizes that he won't be home when he said he would be. But not so late they can't discuss what she wanted to tonight.

*

Margaret listens as the bare feet approach the door and moments later CJ appears on the other side with her toothbrush still in her mouth.

"I'm late." Her cry gargled by her mouthful of minty paste when she ushers Margaret inside.

"You still have time." Margaret assures her, standing patiently in the foyer as CJ disappears into the bathroom.

"I was supposed to take Advil a half hour before and I haven't, Simon called this morning and I've been trying to catch up with work and I think I'm going mad." CJ raises he voice so it filters through from the bathroom. She throws back two tablets with a glass of water, leaving it in the kitchen where she picks up her keys and purse.

"You ready?" Margaret smiles trying to calm her down.

"I think." CJ says and for the first time Margaret sees hesitation and uncertainty about the tests.

"You'll be fine." Margaret smiles reassuringly.

*

"Do you know who's conducting the tests?" Margaret asks as she negotiates the morning traffic towards a parking spot.

"My gynecologist." CJ replies shifting her attention back from the passing buildings.

"Where do you have to go?" Margaret continues her probe.

"The outpatient clinic." CJ smiles turning to face Margaret. "I think you're more nervous that I."

"And I've been through something similar before," Margaret smiles switching off the engine.

*


	7. 7

They're met at administration with a clipboard of forms for CJ to fill out and then an anxious wait until CJ is called on. Her gynecologist is a distinguished woman much like Abbey Bartlet who greets CJ like an old friend and is understanding of Margaret's presence as a supporting friend. They chat generally about Simon and his current locality as Dr. Angela Johnston leads them into a small consultation room.

CJ sits nervously in a chair adjacent to the desk, her muscles held taught in her crossed legs and her hands fidgeting in her lap as her doctor reviews her medical history once more and the forms CJ filled out in the waiting area. Margaret watches CJ's growing nervousness from the chair next to her; hoping bad news won't await her.

"You're primary repeated miscarriage aren't you CJ?" Dr. Johnston asks looking up from the files.

"I'm sorry?" CJ says confused.

"You have no history of full-term pregnancies."

"That's right." CJ says and Margaret sinks hearing the sadness in her voice.

"There are a number of tests we usually run for someone like yourself who has suffered multiple miscarriages." Dr. Johnston begins swiveling her chair so she faces CJ. "They come under eight broad headings, Infectious, Autoimmune, Thyroid, Chromosomal, Anatomical, Diabetes, Alloimmune and Luteal Phase Defect."

The names mean nothing to Margaret, but what she has learnt is to listen to the doctor and then ask questions when you don't understand.

"I'd like to take a broad sweep first. In the absence of Simon we won't be conducting any chromosomal tests, they usually require an analysis of both your blood to see if there is any problems, we can also conduct a chromosomal test on the fetal tissue, but obviously this has to be done at the time of miscarriage. Around three percent of parents carry a hidden chromosomal problem called a balanced translocation, so we won't be worrying about that one today." Dr. Johnston explains.

Margaret watches as a small amount of relief is visibly lifted from CJ's shoulders.

"We won't be conducting any autoimmune tests, miscarriages caused by autoimmune factors usually occur in the second trimester due to blood clots forming in the vascular system of the placenta. Alloimmune is relatively new and expensive..." Dr Johnston says opening a medical folder.

"It's basically a test to determine if your egg and Simons sperm are allergic to one another." Dr Johnston pauses as CJ grins widely; Margaret catches on to what is running through her brain...in the beginning CJ was a 'hesitant customer' becoming almost allergic to Simon, repelled like a magnet only for things to attract once the professional situation was taken away. "The research is fairly new and controversial because a lot of people don't think it's a cause of recurrent pregnancy loss." 

"Sometimes your body might reject the fetus as foreign tissue, a similar thing which occurs in transplant patients." She continues.

"I knew there was a reason you came." CJ smiles over at Margaret.

"We can inject you with Simons antibodies prior to conception or both your white blood cells. This is typically a problem in about twenty to twenty five percent of miscarriages, but I have a hunch it's not your problem CJ."

So...." Angela Johnston draws out. "That's what we're not doing, but we could look at if we come up with no answers in this round of tests, questions?" She asks looking to both women who shake their heads compelling her to continue.

"I'll be testing your glucose and insulin levels for diabetes, a simple blood test. An abdominal ultrasound to ensure everything is anatomically correct, you've had them before when I put the cold jelly on your belly and move the transducer across your abdomen. If there is a problem I can look closer with a transvaginal ultrasound and there are other procedures for correcting problems." CJ's face freezes, discomfort wiggling through her body.

"It's not the most pleasant thing for a woman." The doctor laughs. "I don't think you have anything to worry about really in that area. I'll take some blood for some infectious screens such as HIV, HEP B and C, Rubella, Syphilis, a Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Urea plasma culture, that simply involves taking a swab sample from the cervix and placing it in incubation for two days to allow any culture to grow. If we find some problem in this department a course of antibiotics is likely all you'll need or a MMR booster shot, it's not uncommon for someone over thirty to have a low immunity."

A beeper breaks the conversation and the three women dive for their handbags and belts. When Angela Johnston holds hers up triumphantly in a mock winners celebration, she apologizes explaining she's on call and will be back shortly.

"How do you feel?" Margaret asks after a moment of silence.

"Fine, she's really good, she explains everything for you and as she's doing the procedure." CJ replies confidently.

Margaret lets her eyes wander around the various medical posters plastered over the pale walls.

"What's going on with your wedding?" CJ asks breaking the comfortable silence again.

"We're talking about it tonight." Margaret replies smiling at CJ's gentle push for information.

"Talk, shmork." CJ sighs.

"Talk's cheap, weddings are expensive." Margaret defends.

"I'm sorry, are you not marrying Leo McGarry." CJ says pretending not to remember.

"I don't know what he wants CJ, he's been there done that, so does he want big or small, or is he happy to do what I want, does he wants a church or someone ordained over the Internet?" CJ smiles at the Internet comment.

"I guess." CJ sighs as Dr. Johnston re-enters the room.

"Where was I, thyroid that's right, a common cause of short luteal phase can be a thyroid dysfunction. However I have my suspicions that these are going to show up normal and we're going to hit pay dirt at luteal phase defect." Dr. Johnston hypothesizes.

"What's that?" CJ asks.

"A luteal phase defect is when the length of time between ovulation and the onset of menstruation is too short. It needs to be at least thirteen to fifteen days, if not the lining of your uterus may not be developing enough to sustain your pregnancy. It's quite possibly something you've had and never realized till you tried to get pregnant."

"So how does it work?" Margaret asks this time.

"We do an endometrial biopsy, which 'dates' the lining to see if it is out of sync hormonally. If it is more than 2 days off, it's considered out of phase. If this is the case, we'll schedule another appointment in your next cycle and do the test again and if it is found to be out of phase the diagnosis of luteal phase defect can be made." Dr. Johnston smiles across at the two women letting the information sink in.

"I asked you to make an appointment a few days before menstruation, is that now?" She continues getting an affirmative answer from CJ. "If there are no more questions." She leads in, getting a reply negative shake of her head from CJ.

From the shelves above her Dr. Johnston pulls a packaged needle that Margaret has become so familiar with. "You're all right with blood?" She asks as she helps CJ roll up her sleeve.

Margaret keeps her eyes straight ahead as the needle depresses and punctures CJ's arm, the red blood filling back up the needle quickly. After all this time she still hates the sight of blood.

"Ok I'm testing this for sugar and insulin, HIV, HEP B and C, rubella and thyroid abnormalities." The doctor repeats to herself as she fills out the test order.

"I don't understand the link between miscarriage and my thyroid." CJ questions as she puts pressure on the spot where the needle went in.

"Your change in estrogen levels when you become pregnant can upset the function of the thyroid." Dr. Johnston explains as she labels the thin cylinder of blood. "I'll get you to lie up on the examination table and we'll begin the abdominal examination."

The table looks cruel and sanitized to Margaret as CJ climbs up trying best to accommodate her tall stature. She shivers once as the lubricating jelly hits her middle and Dr. Johnston spreads it around, her eyes never leaving the fuzzy image that is being bounced back at them. CJ cranes her neck trying to view the image in which she is unable to make out anything.

"That all looks fine." CJ is assured as a warm wet towel is used to wipe away the excess jell. 

"Don't get up." Angela Johnston requests as she hunts around her desk coming back with three swab samples.

Margaret flinches outwardly and CJ laughs thanking her for being so supportive. A medical blue sheet covers her from the waist down, maintaining her privacy while the swabs are collected.

"You know why I'm testing for these STD's?" Angela asks securing one swab in its container.

"No." CJ answers looking down at her feet placed on either stirrup.

"Chlamydia can be passed on to your baby through the birth canal, the baby will usually get conjunctivitis and pneumonia. Gonorrhea can cause eye infections in your baby and syphilis usually results in stillbirth, or undetected a baby can be developmentally delayed, have seizures or die shortly after birth. More importantly for you all can result in pelvic inflammatory disease, which infects your reproductive organs, usually scar tissue will appear on the fallopian tubes."

"But that must be rare." Margaret questions, breaking out of her silence.

"About ten percent of women who experience infertility and ectopic pregnancy are as a direct results of pelvic inflammatory disease." Dr. Johnston explains addressing her as she caps the last swab.

"CJ don't move, we'll do the endometrial biopsy and then we're done." It's said a little too cheerily for what is about to come next.

"Would you judge me if I said this is a really comfortable position to sit in?" CJ laughs, the doctor smiling back at her as she reaches for a long white catheter.

"I don't know if I want to ask what you're going to do with that?" CJ says her voice a little wobbly.

"It's simple really." Dr Johnson explains. "I slip this catheter into your uterus, a small amount of the endometrial lining is suctioned back up and then your done and we can all go shopping for the afternoon." She jokes.

"You might feel some cramping as the catheter goes in because it's a foreign body." Angela Johnston warns and almost instantly CJ tenses.

It's only moments later the sample is being delivered into a jar of formalin and CJ is getting re-dressed again.

"You might experience some cramping now, but the Advil you took earlier should help, if your temperature rises above one hundred you need to call me. You might experience some bleeding but that should be minimal and cease after a few days." Dr. Johnston explains.

"What happens now?" Margaret asks.

"The sample goes to pathology for examination. It's important you call me CJ at the onset of your next menstruation; we need to know this to interpret your results. If there is an abnormality we subscribe progesterone for you to take."

"So hormones will help?" CJ asks hesitantly, behind her eyes Margaret can see her brain rushing through questions she wants to ask about how it will effect her and a baby.

"What happens is when your ovary spits out a follicle the empty shell turns into a corpus luteum." The doctor explains.

"Nope you've lost me." CJ smiles.

"Imagine a pea pod, the pea is the follicle which will become the egg, the pea pod will turn into a corpus luteum which should produce progesterone once the embryo implants." Doctor Johnson explains twirling the pen through her fingers.

"See food I can understand." CJ laughs.

"The placenta secretes something called Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, it stimulates the corpus luteum to make progesterone."

"The pea pod." Margaret adds smiling.

"As the placenta matures it takes over the production of progesterone, but if your corpus luteum isn't functioning properly you will miscarry."

"Ok." CJ sighs satisfied in her understanding.

"Well that's about it the results will be in, in the next couple of days and you can call me and I'll let you know." Dr. Johnston smiles broadly as CJ thanks her profusely and gathers her things to leave.

"CJ." Angela Johnston calls before CJ can open the door. "There's a 70% chance your next pregnancy will be fine, don't give up yet."

*


	8. 8

"What are you doing now?" CJ asks in the car back to her place, her wristwatch says five after ten.

"I was going to go back into work." Margaret sighs.

"Nope." CJ says turning and grinning at Margaret.

"No?" Margaret repeats.

"First we're going to do brunch and then we're going to buy the news stand out of bridal magazines and then we're going to plan your wedding." CJ says affirmatively.

A half hour later they're back at CJ's apartment.

What was to be brunch eaten alfresco is sealed in containers in the kitchen, the bridal magazines spread across the coffee table. Sealing the top on the hot water bottle Margaret brings it into CJ who's tucked up in her bed.

"Is the bleeding bad?" She asks concerned.

"It's the cramping. I'm not supposed to cramp like this after." CJ tells her, gratefully taking the hot water bottle from her and placing it under the doona. "God I wish Simon were here." She groans, adding "No offence." after.

"Anything I can do?" Margaret asks feeling useless.

"Bring me those bridal magazines." CJ tells her with a twinkle in her eye Margaret hasn't seen in a long time. Something tells her playing wedding planner is just the medicine CJ needs.

Together they laugh the afternoon away flicking through the magazines and watching daytime television. All the while Margaret brings a couple of Advil to CJ till the pain subsides.

Surprised when the clock reads half past four, Margaret apologizes realizing Leo said he'd be home at four, she says goodbye to CJ who is still in bed but has turned the television over to the real world of CNN.

"I want to be your maid of honor." CJ calls out before Margaret closes the front door behind her, a small smile creeping across her face.

*


	9. 9

In the lift up to the eighth floor, Margaret watches the woman standing next to her holding her baby daughter. A gummy smile from the little girl over her mothers shoulder as they exit on the sixth floor almost turns Margaret into melting butter. She gets off at the eighth floor with a renewed spring in her step and a large smile on her face.

Leo's hotel room is dull as she enters dropping her keys and purse on the foyer table. The CNN she just left is rolling on mute across the screen again as Leo reads in semi-darkness, his rectangle shaped glasses sitting part way down his nose.

He looks up as she walks softly across the room switching on the lamp on the table next to him and throwing light over the pages of reading. He reaches out taking her hand and leads her to sit next to him, sighing she flings her legs over the armrest and lays her head on his leg staring at the back of his reading.

"How was your day?" He asks dropping a spare hand to brush through her flame red hair.

"Ok." She admits half-heartedly, the lack luster response has him abandoning the paper to the table beside him.

"How's CJ?" He asks concerned.

"She's fine." Margaret sighs. "She just sits there letting them poke and prod and swab her. She wants a child so much I'm sure if they told her six laps across the Potomac in the middle of winter would do it, she'd be down there right away."

"You don't want children?" Leo says broaching the subject with caution.

"I don't..." Margaret starts and then sighs looking up at him. "We can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" Leo questions with a hint of alarm in his voice.

"Spending two nights here and two nights at my place and back and forth and back and forth and here and there and here..." Margaret says before Leo cuts her off.

"So we'll buy a place."

Silence descends as Leo continues to brush his fingers through her hair, Margaret stares at the cheap art on the far wall, when the silence has gone on for too long she looks back up at him only to find him staring down at her.

"What?" She smiles self-consciously.

"Nothing, I was just wondering what you were thinking."

"I was thinking about..."

"The W word." He finishes.

"What do you want?" Margaret asks bringing his other hand across her stomach to join with hers.

"I want what you want." Leo says ceasing his gentle ministrations through her hair in favor of tracing patterns on her forehead with his little finger.

"But I want what you want," Margaret smiles clasping and un-clasping her hand in his.

"I think you know what you want." Leo says seriously and Margaret stops suddenly, looking straight up at him.

"I'd love something small and intimate like CJ and Simon had."

"I'd like them to be our witnesses." Leo adds. "I'd like small and intimate."

He feels her squeeze his hand for a moment, her eyes blinking slowly, getting heavier with sleep although it is only mid-afternoon.

"I was talking to the President today." Leo begins inching his hand under her shirt and caressing her warm stomach.

"Mmm Hmm." Margaret says her eyes closed on her relaxed face.

"I told him we talked about getting married and he offered the use of the Manchester farm." Leo says them almost holds his breath waiting for an answer.

Margaret's eyes snap open; she sits up on the couch tucking her feet under her. "We could get married at sunset or sunrise near the big tree out the front and just sit on the front porch and make apple cider and..." The enthusiasm growing in Margaret's voice the more she considered the offer.

"You want to do that?" Leo confirms.

His answer comes as Margaret gathers him into her embrace, holding him tightly against her and then meeting him in a sweet kiss.

"I like the idea as well." He adds nuzzling at the side of her face, sprinkling her cheek and down to her neck with delicate kisses.

"You look tired." He observes, brushing her hair back behind her ears and then encouraging her to lie back down again where she was before. When her eyes have fluttered closed he picks up what he was reading before.

"Have you been home today?" He asks out of the blue not even sure if she's still awake.

"I came straight here from CJ's." She says clearly her voice not betraying any semi-conscious state she might be in.

"I left a message for you that I was going to be a little late that's all." Leo tells her going back to his reading.

Reaching out Margaret fumbles for the cordless phone that Leo had requested to be placed in the room. As she dials her home number, the phone attached at Leo's hip rings loudly, he disappears into the next room as Margaret types in her machine code on phone and waits to collect her messages.

As soon as she hears 'Amway' from the squeaky voice of the sales assistant Margaret immediately deletes the message, the second is from Leo and knowing what it's in relation to she deletes it as well. There's a large pause before the third message and when he fathers voice reaches her ear the pause makes sense given his continuing uncomfortability with modern technology. By the time she has listened to the message right the way through there are tears streaming down her face. As she chooses to save that message she looks around for Leo who has disappeared into the main bedroom. Discarding the phone on the couch she goes searching for him, happy tears still falling.

With his back turned looking outside, Leo's anger with Josh rises, he doesn't see Margaret standing in the doorway. As she walks calmly over towards him he turns, noticing the tears in her eyes he hurriedly gets Josh off the phone, tossing it on the corner of the large bed.

Burying herself in the nape of his neck, Margaret's voice is muffled as she asks Leo. "You went to Richmond to ask my father for my hand in marriage?"

Leo laughs briefly before confirming. "How'd you know?"

His hands cup her face and wipe away the remaining tears that are drying up.

"They just called to congratulate me." Margaret says smiling. "You're amazing, I love you."

"I love you too." Leo says melting into a kiss with her.

*


	10. 10

If it weren't for the vibration against his hip, Leo would have missed the call as he negotiates his way through the lunchtime pedestrian crowd.

"Hello." He says rather loudly over the noise surrounding him.

"Dad, where are you, has the President declared war and sent you?" Mallory's voice comes through strong and clear.

"Hey Mal, I'm in New York." Leo tells her looking ahead to his destination on the next block.

"Are you going to be back tomorrow, at the White House?" She asks.

"I'm just here for a couple of hours." Leo tells her as he steps around the back of a stationary cab.

"I want to come and see how you're doing...tomorrow night?" Mallory requests as Leo stops outside his destination the Harry Winston salon on Fifth Avenue.

"I'm fine, but I'll see you then." Leo tells her flicking the phone shut and pushing open the door with no intention of exiting without a diamond engagement ring.

*

The next night, as Leo attempts to get through a stack of reading, the clock pushes on towards the morning hours without him noticing.

Flung back into reality as Margaret slips through the door announcing Toby is here to see him, her youthful cheeriness has dulled and when he looks at the clock that reads ten to twelve he realizes why.

"Shut the door." He requests and while she does he lets his eyes wander over her heavy eyelids, weighed down by near exhaustion and fatigue. "You look tired."

Her reply isn't audible, a simple smile almost sympathetic.

"We'll go after Toby." He promises nodding for her to let the Communications director in.

*

When Toby emerges and says goodnight ten minutes later Margaret is looking for more work to do to keep her occupied and awake.

Leo wanders behind her, flicking off the desk lamp the only light now coming from the corridors, taking her hand in his. "Come with me." He requests, his other hand touching the velvet box in his jacket pocket.

The rose stems cast crooked shadows from the moon, their beautiful blooms hidden in the cover of darkness as Leo helps Margaret into her jacket to ward off the night chill. Standing in front of her he touches the ring box and pulls it out of his jacket. Holding it in front of Margaret who can see the maroon velvet quite clearly, she gasps as he starts to bend down onto one knee.

"Yes." She says her voice trembling with emotion and by the minimal light he swears he sees tears in her eyes.

"I'm not down on one knee yet." He says opening the box; the unique diamond engagement ring is met with a bigger gasp, Margaret's hand flying over her mouth.

"I wanted to say..." Leo tells her as he gently slides the ring on her finger.

"There's nothing you can say that my heart doesn't already know Leo." Margaret whispers and Leo stops the ring halfway up her finger, gazing up at her.

"I love you." He says half swallowing his emotions as he slides the ring the rest of the way along her finger. When it's secure he gathers her into his arms kissing her passionately until her tears stain his cheeks.

"I know, I love you too." Her voice convincing, but her expression giving away a minor concern.

"I know what you're thinking but don't worry." Leo assures her. In the back of her mind however he wonders where Mallory got to tonight, he planned to take advantage of her visit to inform her of his intention to marry Margaret, which would come as a shock being she hadn't been informed of the relationship ever.

"Let's get out of the cold." He smiles holding out her hand to look at the ring on it, the linking it with hers as they walk back into the building.

"I've got a lot of reading still." He says watching her slump into the couch, her eyes fluttering shut, legs stretched out on the table in front of  the couch. "It won't take me a moment to pack up."

"Don't, finish, I'll wait." Margaret says molding her head into a pillow.

"That's no way to treat my fiancée." Leo says lifting her legs into his lap and sitting on the table. He slides off her shoes, kneading and massaging her feet that gain tiny moans of approval. He massages up to her ankle and back down again, repeating his motions on her other foot.

"Margaret." He whispers when he's done placing her right foot into his lap again, waiting for the flutter of her eyelids that don't come.

Smiling he gently places her feet on the ground and grabs a blanket from his closet to wrap around her, with his reading in one hand he settles in next to her. The words slowly start to blur and run into one another and at some point he drifts off to sleep, glasses still on his face, the papers he was reading falling into his lap.

*


	11. 11

With her hair still damp from her morning shower, Mallory walks through the quiet corridors of the West Wing knowing full well her father will be at work already despite the fact that no one else is. It's comforting to know that even though she couldn't make it last night he'll be in this morning...might as well have been here the whole night she thinks to herself.

Discovering Margaret's office empty, she knocks timidly on her father's door, pushing it open only when she gets no reply. Her eyes scan the room finding his desk empty but the couch occupied with her sleeping father whose legs are propped up on the table.

Shocked she finds Margaret curled around him a blanket covering her shoulders, her right arm behind his back, her left leg thrown over his right like it is the most natural thing in the world, her head resting snugly in the nape of his neck, her fathers arms wrapped around her affectionately and an impressive diamond on the hand of her ring finger which rests on his chest.

Stunned Mallory inches closer to the pair who are wrapped up in an intimate sleeping position, wanting to get a closer look at the ring. She gasps recognizing the unique nature of the diamond setting, realizing there aren't to many men who can afford such a piece of jewelry, the fact her father can is not lost on her.

She turns confused and disbelief of the new information she's just acquired. Her assumptions most likely to be correct, Mallory stumbles into the shin height table protesting in pain then cursing the bruise she's going to have as she hobbles for the door out of her fathers office.

With one hand on the door handle she hears him stir, Mallory turns watching as he smiles feeling Margaret wrapped around him, his eyes not yet open. Slowly they open as he presses a kiss to Margaret's forehead still unaware she's in the room.

The door creaks as Mallory opens it and for the first time he sees her, surprise writes itself across his face, disorientation from being half asleep still present. Gently he extracts Margaret from around himself, positioning her in the safety of the oversized cushions that stuff the couch.

Opening the door slowly so not as to wake Margaret, Leo looks left down the corridor for Mallory, he looks right and his eyes meet directly with hers.

"Mal." He says softly closing the door after him.

"Don't...I'm too...I don't think I can put together a coherent sentence." Mallory stumbles.

"I know it's a shock." Leo says softly taking another step closer to his daughter.

"Why didn't you tell me, it started after the transplant right?" Mallory manages and it's Leo who can't find anything to say now.

"As long as you know what you're doing." Mallory concludes lifting her bag higher on her shoulder and turning to leave.

"I love her, Mallory." Leo says to Mallory's back, it stops her for a moment, turning briefly she nods and disappears around the corner.

Leo steps quietly back into his office.

*

The busy day left no opportunity to discuss the morning events and when Leo arrives at Margaret's apartment that night after saying goodbye to her not ten minutes ago to find it empty, he wonders if this morning was more damaging than he'd thought.

Not seeing her car anywhere, he sighs sliding the card in his room door. He spots her on the terrace, her winter coat wrapped around her to ward of the night chill. Her keys are on the table in the foyer and he drops his things next to hers making his way out onto the terrace.

"Here you are." He says sliding the door closed behind him, she cranes her neck over her shoulder smiling at him.

"Where else would I be?" She questions.

"I went to your place." He informs her studying her face. "This things with Mallory is bothering you isn't it."

"We should have told her before now." Margaret says regretfully.

"I know, but you wanted to wait." Leo reminds her. "And I respected that."

"I wanted to be sure, I mean I was, but..." She looks down at the shiny ring on her finger.

Leo smiles resting his fingers over hers. "She understands and if it wasn't Mallory it would have been someone else who found us this morning."

"She deserves to have been told by both of us up front." Margaret continues.

"I know, but it didn't happen that way." Leo compensates and encourages her to come inside.

"Did you talk?" Margaret asks falling into the couch.

"She was a little lost for words." Leo replies as a knock comes from his door.

He looks back at her and Margaret looks up at him, neither expecting any visitors at this late hour.

"Mallory." Leo says opening the door to find his daughter waiting patiently.

She steps forward throwing her arms around her father, her face buried in his shoulder. "I just want you to be happy." Her muffled voice says.

Letting go of her father she marches over to the couch enveloping a surprised Margaret in a similar embrace. When she's let Margaret go, Mallory stands in the middle of the room with the full attention of Leo and Margaret. "I'm very happy for you both." She says and Margaret thinks she sees a tiny tear building.

"You want to stay for dinner Mal?" Leo asks bewildered by his daughter's behavior.

"No I've gotta be some place." She declines looking at her watch. Softening for a moment she hugs her father again, pulling him tighter and closer to her. "Love you dad."

Margaret comes over and gets another hug from Mallory. "I know you love him and he loves you and you'll take good care of him...he's my dad, the only one I've got." she says softly before saying goodbye and disappearing behind the closed daughter.

"Where is your daughter and what has who done with her?" Margaret asks smiling, wrapping her arms around a confused Leo and kissing him on the cheek.

Leo remains stuck in the one spot despite Margaret pulling him towards the couch.

"She loves you so much to accept me." Margaret says softly one hand pressed gently against his cheek.

"We both love you." Leo says quietly, earning a soft kiss from Margaret.

*


	12. 12

"What do you think about three months from today?" Is the first thing Margaret asks when Leo opens his eyes the next morning.

He frowns at her rubbing his eyes awake. "Three months from now?"

"Spring on the Bartlet's property." Margaret elaborates.

"The sixteenth." Leo confirms. "I like the sound of that."

*

"You're temperature's up a little." Margaret says as Leo emerges from the bathroom, rubbing a towel on his wet hair.

"Margaret don't fuss, I'm fine." He says in a warning tone.

"We have to watch this closely today." Margaret says, her better judgment telling her to get Leo checked out.

"It's all your fault, you get me all hot and worked up." Leo grins pulling her against himself.

"Leo." She says seriously, a small smile creeping across her face to the contrary.

Smiling he kisses her and gently slides her out of his embrace continuing to get dressed for the day.

*

"Good morning Mr. President." Leo greets heartily, an apprehensive Margaret by his side.

"Leo, Margaret sit down." Jed Bartlet says looking up from his work.

"Sir we were wondering." Leo starts once they're all settled. "If the farmhouse was free in about three months from now?"

"Well of course it is, you two set a date?" The President smiles.

"Yes Sir." Margaret says timidly.

"Well that's great." The President says and misses a beat before picking up. "I gotta tell Abbey, she'll be so happy." He says jumping out of his seat towards the phone on his desk.

"Sir, CJ is here." Charlie says standing in the doorway.

"Send her in." Bartlet waves as he waits for his wife to pick up the phone.

"Good morning Mr. President, Leo, Margaret." CJ says walking into the center of the room.

"CJ, Leo and Margaret have finally picked a date." The President tells her, his hand over the mouthpiece. "They're getting married three months from today at my farmhouse." He says proudly before hanging up the phone disappointed. "My wife isn't answering."

"Your wife is in California, Sir." CJ reminds him.

"How about a nice press release." The President asks CJ and next to Leo, Margaret flinches.

"I don't think we want to make this a public circus, Sir. It's meant to be small and intimate." Leo informs him.

"Should I not be expecting an invitation then?" The President says sounding disappointed and Leo doesn't have to say no, it's already written all over his face. "Use me for my hospitality then."

"It's not that Sir, it's just wherever you go..."

"Twenty men follow me with guns, cars and they talk to their wrists?" The President offers understanding.

"Yes, Sir." CJ answers.

"You must stay a few days, have a honeymoon, I'll get the guesthouse set up." Bartlet says clapping his hands together and neither Leo nor Margaret have the heart to say no. "Anything you need." He says picking up the phone again.

"Thank you sir." Leo says and Margaret repeats after him.

"CJ." Leo says indicating towards his office.

"Thank you Sir." CJ says, wondering why, she never got to the business she needed to speak to him about. The President waves to her 'no problems' as he listens into the phone.

*

"CJ, we'd like you and Simon to be our witnesses." Leo says once he's closed all the exit doors to his office.

CJ breaks into a brilliant smile across the room at Margaret. "We'd love to."

"Thanks." Leo smiles genuinely. "It'll be a flight up, one afternoon and back again." Leo says looking to Margaret for confirmation.

"Let me, know either way we're flexible." CJ replies.

"Get back to work." Leo's smile spreads across his face, CJ grabs Margaret gently by the arm through the door to her office.

Leo smiles waiting for the female screams, talking and planning that will take place behind the door in his assistant...fiancée's office.

*

Alone in Margaret's outer office, CJ scoops her friend up into a tight embrace.

"There's so much to do." CJ breathes unable to wipe the huge smile from her face. "Lunch time today we're buying a dress."

Margaret nods caught up in CJ's enthusiasm.

"We've got to book you two a judge, organize food and champagne, cars and..."

"CJ." Margaret stops her. "I haven't spoken to Leo about what he wants."

Smiling CJ flings open the office door. "Leo."

"Yes CJ." He replies unable to wipe the smile from his face.

"Would it be all right if Margaret and I booked a few non essential things for the wedding such as a judge or a marriage celebrant maybe?" CJ asks cheekily.

"Whatever Margaret wants is fine." Leo smiles and goes back to work.

"One thirty." CJ calls to Margaret as she goes back to work.

*

As she waits for Margaret to try on the cream silk dress, CJ smiles as she stares at the floor remembering the last time she went dress shopping was with Simon and her purchase was the black Vera Wang she'd worn a few times since then.

"What do you think?" Margaret asks snapping her out of her daydream.

The simple cream floor length dress is a dream. Its bias cut highlights Margaret's neck and shoulders while not revealing anything to inappropriate although promising more. The fitted material falls perfectly across her breasts, waist and hips, and pools minimally at her feet.

CJ says nothing for a moment picturing little cream flowers in Margaret's hair, her fringe falls slightly to her left, the rest pushed back behind her ears curled softly at the base to frame her face, a sprinkling of white flowers across the top of her head and through her hair.

"This is the dress." CJ says warmly and Margaret smiles back agreeing.

"And look." Margaret adds turning around, with CJ's focus on the fluid movement of the dress around Margaret's legs she misses the plunging back line till she looks up.

"This is the dress you're going to get married in." CJ says standing and walking over to Margaret, she reaches out for Margaret's hands smiling happily.

"Anyone would swear it was you getting married CJ." Margaret says.

"I just get so happy when it's you and Leo." CJ admits.

*


	13. 13

"Did you get your results back?" Margaret asks as she picks the dress up from the counter. It's tucked safely away in a professional dry-cleaning bag till the wedding day.

"Oh I forgot to tell you, my cultures and blood work all came back normal." CJ explains.

"And the other?" Margaret prompts as they reach the car.

CJ smiles which Margaret finds strange until she gets an answer. "We've found the problem."

"Oh that's great, what are you doing to fix it?" Margaret asks enthusiastically.

"Well I have another endometrial biopsy in ten days time which should confirm the problem and then it's a matter of taking some progesterone at the right time."

"You make it sound to easy...how's Simon?" Margaret asks as an afterthought.

"He's good, he's very supportive but I just know he's glad he doesn't have to be providing samples in cups for doctors."

"So you're trying again?" Margaret asks.

"Not until after the next test." CJ says getting in the car. "What about you and Leo?" CJ asks as she starts the car.

"We haven't talked about it." Margaret says honestly, the rest of the trip back to the White House is silent.

*

As Margaret's feels CJ slide another pin into her hair, she slips on her left cream satin slipper. The pointy toe peeks out barely from under the dress, the same way they'd jumped out at her as being perfect, the two months since that lunchtime shopping trip when she got a dress and shoes in the same day are a blur.

"You're not starting a garden up there are you?" Margaret asks wiggling her toes in the shoes.

"You're much too calm Margaret, I was a wreck at this stage." CJ comments.

"I know, I was there." Margaret reminds her looking up into the mirror for the first time.

With CJ looking over her shoulder in the reflection of them mirror, Margaret surveys her hair and makeup which seem to be without the slightest misplacement.

"This is the best decision I'll ever make." Margaret says softly, sentimentality in her voice.

"Ohhhhh." CJ sighs wrapping her arms around her friend as a knock sounds at the door.

"Time to face the music." Simons voice floats through the closed door.

"I'll kill him." CJ mutters smiling as she goes over and flings open the door.

"You wouldn't have wanted to have said that at our wedding." She says in a mock fierce voice. "Oh don't you look handsome." She softens.

"Let's go downstairs." Margaret says behind them. "Actually could I have a minute?" Margaret changes her mind.

CJ turns shooting her a concerned look.

"I'm not going to run out." Margaret smiles. "I defy any bride who says she has warmer feet that mine, besides this is the second floor, I just need to take it all in."

"Take your time." Simon says shutting the door behind himself and CJ.

*

"You're as beautiful as the day I met you." Simon says tenderly resting a protective hand over her stomach.

"You won't be saying that when I'm rivaling whales and you're considering trading me in for a younger model." CJ replies.

"My lady, you're going to have to be the one trading because you're stuck with me." Simon says leaning down to kiss CJ.

"Funny I thought this was my wedding." Margaret says standing in the doorway with her flowers in her hands.

"Sorry." CJ blushes.

"As long as you don't neck in the back row like teenagers." Margaret teases with a cheeky grin on her face as she heads toward the stairs.

"Hey." CJ laughs hurrying to catch up to her. "Go." She instructs Simon when they reach the bottom of the stairs and he disappears to join Leo. "You ready?" CJ asks taking a deep breath, Margaret appears completely calm.

"Time is precious, no more wasting it." She says stepping towards the front door, as Leo catches sight of her, she picks up the delicate cream dress so as not to trip on her way down the front stairs.

*

CJ throws the delicate red rose petals she picked earlier in the day, over Margaret and Leo as they seal their marriage with a kiss. As the sun continues its retirement to darkness for another night the newlyweds turn to face their witnesses ready to begin the next part of the celebration, drinks and an early evening meal.

"Does the first lady know you've been mulching her roses CJ?" Leo asks as the four head back onto the verandah.

"That can be our secret." CJ replies cheekily as they're met with a lavish of food and drinks.

When the conversation has silenced, the food and drink almost dried up and the sun is setting low in the sky, when it's just the four of them left and they sit in the big chair on the verandah, watching the last remains of the day slip away, CJ decides it's time.

It's not as though it isn't obvious, Simon has been overprotective as though all his service training could ensure the safe passage of the pregnancy somehow and his hands could be barriers to any problems that might come to the baby.

Somehow he knows and so does she that this is the one and she can't blame him for being smothering, for that reason and the fact he's giving her injections each day.

"Simon and I are pregnant again." CJ says looking over where Leo has his arm around Margaret as they lean back into the chair.

"How far?" Margaret asks sitting up out of Leo's embrace.

"No go ahead CJ, rain on my parade." Leo offers taking a friendly swipe, immensely happy for the pair.

"Almost two months." CJ replies, watching as Margaret does the calculations.

"You guys." She exclaims, shaking her head as she smiles realizing they conceived right after CJ's last test. "Congratulations."

"She's insatiable." Simon defends.

"How do you feel?" Margaret asks hesitantly.

"Everything is fine." CJ assures her. "I wanted you to know because The President wants me to stay here for a couple more weeks, just till I'm through to the middle of my third month."

Margaret turns to look at Leo. "I knew about this." He informs her.

"I'm going to be in the guesthouse and you'll be in the main house, you won't see me." CJ says eager to push her invisible status.

"You'll be here alone when we're gone?" Margaret says concerned.

"Simon has to work, but he'll come up when he can and Abbey is going to come and stay for a couple of weeks." CJ assures her. "It's all right with me." Margaret says looking over at Leo who nods agreeing.

"You won't see me, I'll respect your privacy." CJ reassures them.

"I think we'll take some of that privacy now." Leo says softly taking Margaret's hand and leading her down the front steps. In the fading light as the early evening chill starts to roll in, CJ and Simon watch for a moment as Leo and Margaret walk with their arms around each other savoring the last of the day, before retiring to their own privacy.

*


	14. 14

"That man must be so tired." Margaret says peering out the window watching Simon's rental car pull out of the front gates. "He's working eight hours on, twelve hours off and four on administration and operational matters and every minute the service doesn't need him he's on a plane up here."

Behind her Leo packs up their things, the week has flown by and he feels a little guilty he hasn't taken more time off. "The service is letting him do paperwork while he's with CJ."

As the car crawls out of sight, Margaret turns back around to face him.

"It's better she's here, there are too many distractions in the district, Abby will be up in a couple of days." Leo tells her as Margaret helps him fold his shirts.

"I know." She says quietly placing a polo shirt on top of some pants.

"You want to take some more time, book a flight somewhere overseas, take another week or two?" Leo asks dropping another shirt unfolded in front of him.

Shaking her head Margaret wraps her arms around him. "Take me home." She whispers into his shoulder.

*

As the car glides gently to a halt, Leo takes Margaret's hand in his squeezing it gently to wake her from where she's leaning against his shoulder.

"We're here." He says softly as the door is opened for them.

"Where are we?" Margaret asks, she might have just woken up but the stately suburban house is no home she's ever known.

"Just wait." Leo says guiding her to the front door and opening it with a key he produces from his pocket.

Inside the house is airy, spacious and tastily decorated. "Take a look around." Leo encourages, Margaret ventures into the living room before turning back looking at Leo wanting answers.

"This is home if you want it to be." He tells her.

"You've bought this?" Margaret says almost in disbelief.

"No, not yet, but Simon is breathing down my neck, he wants it and it's only a matter of time before he comes up with the cash to outbid me." Leo explains.

"You're serious?" Margaret says staring at him.

"Well not about Simon." Leo admits. "Take a look around."

Leo waits in the foyer as Margaret looks around the bottom floor before climbing upstairs.

"How far from work are we?" Margaret's voice calls from the top of the stairs.

"A little over a half hour." Leo calls back turning the key over and over in his hands.

"You like it?" He asks when Margaret comes down the stairs again.

"I love it." Margaret smiles pulling him into a tight embrace.

"They can move our stuff tomorrow." Leo tells her over her shoulder.

"Leo it has five bedrooms." Margaret says as if he didn't already know.

"I thought if you ever wanted to have guests or..."

"Yeah." Margaret agrees not divulging she suspects he's trying to put a topic of discussion on the table.

"I'll tell them yes then." Leo says leading her out with an arm around her waist.

*

"It has five bedrooms." Margaret repeats later that night. Leo is propped up against a mass of pillows in her bed reading, the room is dark except for a small lamp that throws light enough for him to read by.

He looks up pulling his glasses from his face as Margaret sits on the bed next to him.

"If you don't like it, if it's too big." Leo says looking over at her.

"It's not so much I don't like it, as I think you're using it to try to say something without saying it." Margaret says pulling the three-stapled pages from his hand.

"Margaret!" Leo exclaims.

"Leo you're a world class political operative, but that means squat in the bedroom when you're talking to your wife, CJ and Simon live a half hour away from the house and they're the most likely candidates for house guests." Margaret says putting her foot down and Leo can't keep back the big grin on his face.

"I love you." He says, his smile breaking into a chuckle as he leans in and kiss her lips.

"Leo, those rooms aren't for house guests, they're for our children." Margaret says seriously and Leo looks down into his lap.

"How did we get this far without having this conversation and why is it we never talk about the big things but they go off without a hitch anyway?" He asks somberly.

"You mean you could count on one hand the number of conversations we had about the wedding and telling Mallory and The President and moving house and..." Margaret lists.

"We just work and we just know." Leo silences her.

"Leo." Margaret repeats.

"I didn't know...I mean maybe you thought I didn't want anymore children, because of my circumstances and other reasons so you didn't mention anything. I thought maybe you might not want children so I didn't say anything..." His voice trails.

"I would love to have children with you...I love you." Margaret smiles at him taking his hand in hers.

"I don't know if I can still...I guess we could always adopt." Leo shrugs.

"There's always IVF." Margaret suggests climbing to sit in front of Leo, he wraps his arms around her resting his chin on her shoulder.

"So how many kids do you want, six?" Leo asks smiling.

"Two is fine." Margaret laughs. "A boy and a girl."

"Do you want to start trying straight away?" Leo asks and Margaret turns to face him.

"We still have another four years." She remembers.

"You want to wait that long?" Leo asks brushing her fringe across her face. Coming to the realization that she doesn't, Margaret shakes her head firmly.

"There's something I want to do..." Leo starts tracing the pad of his finger along her cheek. "If you ever want more children and it looks like I might not live much longer..."

Margaret presses her finger against Leo's lips silencing him as tears pool along the bottom of her eyelids.

"Don't say it." She says hoarsely.

"I want to have some samples frozen and stored." Leo finishes.

"Leo, I don't want to think about that." Margaret says emotionally wrapping her arms around him.

"Ok." Leo whispers.

*


	15. 15

Leo looks up from his work as a quiet knock sounds on the other side of his door.

"Margaret." He sighs remembering his assistant isn't here, looking up the door opens revealing his ex-wife.

"Jenny." He says not letting his surprise hide from his voice, Jenny has never stepped foot in the White House before let alone this late at night.

"Margaret's at the house with CJ." He reminds himself as Jenny looks around his office. "Do you have five minutes?"

"Of course." Leo says pushing aside his work.

"You could have told me I wouldn't have judged you." Jenny tells him as she settles in his visitors' chair.

"Told you what?" Leo asks confused.

"That you and Margaret got married."

"I was going to, but we got busy." Leo excuses

"It was four months ago..." Jenny sighs. "Just don't get too busy for Margaret." Jenny warns and Leo frowns at the advice and her complaint about the time.

"I won't." Leo assures her quietly.

"I guess she's willing to make sacrifices I never was." Jenny continues.

"Margaret's not making sacrifices for me." Leo defends, his ex-wife's comments getting his back up a little.

"You're right, she chose this job, she's already made them for herself." Jenny says apologetically

"I love her Jenny." Leo says forcefully, his expressive. "This is not...convenience."

"I know." Jenny admits.

"What's that?" Leo asks referring to the large package next to her wrapped in white wedding bell paper.

"It's a wedding present and housewarming present in one, I thought it was appropriate." Jenny tells him picking the photo frame shaped package up from beside her and placing it in front of Leo.

"Thank you." He says the situation unusual.

"I know Margaret's not here, but I'd like you to open it." 

"Never become so busy making a living you forget to make a life." Leo reads the black text printed in the bottom left corner over the top of the large photo of Margaret and Leo on their wedding day, the sun is setting and it's just the two of them standing with their backs to the camera in front of the Bartlet's house with their arms around each other.

"It's beautiful, thank you, did Mallory give you the photo." Leo asks.

"Yes, I thought it was appropriate." Jenny adds. "Don't become strangers to one another because you spend more time on other things than the marriage."

"Jenny, you don't need to concern yourself..."

"Leo I don't want this to fail." Jenny cuts him off, what she really wants to say is she doesn't want him to die alone.

Silence hangs thick in the air until. "I'm sorry we didn't invite Mallory." Leo continues.

"Don't apologize to me." Jenny shrugs.

"Is she mad?"

"She understands you must have had your reasons." Jenny explains.

"We only invited two witnesses." Leo explains.

"It's what you wanted." Jenny says standing up.

"I'll tell Margaret you stopped by." Leo says his eyes locking with hers.

"Good luck." The ex Mrs. McGarry says as she disappears behind Margaret's door.

*

"Margaret wow." CJ says as she looks up and around at the house. "I thought you guys were moving in right away."

"Look at the color scheme." Margaret points out, the color scheme is broken up with  drop sheets and patches of contrasting color paints.

"How long are the renovations going to take?" CJ asks moving into the living area.

"Another couple of months." Margaret replies turning to look out the window. CJ wanders into the kitchen. It takes her a moment to realize Margaret isn't behind her and distraction has taken her attention from showing CJ the house.

"Hey." CJ says softly putting an arm on Margaret's shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Margaret says turning and smiling apologetically.

"What's on your mind?" CJ asks.

"Leo, I'm worried about him."

"He's sick?" CJ asks concerned.

"He's been running a slight temperature for seven or eight months, about .2 above average." Margaret explains.

"Seven or eight months! There are no other symptoms." CJ confirms.

"No, nothing which is why he won't go and see anyone."

"He might just need a slight change in medication." CJ offers.

"I can't get him to go, I can't convince him he might be experiencing rejection...slowly or something." Margaret says before dissolving into tears.

CJ wraps her arms around Margaret, doing the best to accommodate her ever-growing stomach. "Call the hospital, tell them what's going on and if they want to see him, get them to call him direct and demand he come and see them."

*

The following morning Margaret hangs up the phone knowing full well in a few moments the same person on the other end will be calling her back.

The phone rings and Margaret picks it up asking the hospital to hold while she gets Leo. Taking a deep breath she stands, knocks and enters to face the bear with a sore head.

"Richmond hospital." She says before closing the door after her.

Ten minutes later he barks at her to farm out his meetings tomorrow and that he's off to his eleven o'clock meeting.

That night she goes back to her apartment and he doesn't come around, she picks up the phone three times and dials half his number twice, but can't get up the nerve, something somewhere slips her back to a working relationship with him...not a married one...she hates when he spends all night at the office, the bed depresses as he climbs in next to her after she's asleep and when she wakes in the morning he's already gone.

The next day he's snappy and short tempered when he gets back mid-morning and before he can say 'I don't want to talk about it' Margaret shuts the door on his first meeting not mentioning it.

*


	16. 16

As she wraps her towel around her hair, Margaret distinctly hears her front door close. She stands a moment listening to him walk through the rooms dropping his things.  
  
Clad only in her robe she stands in the bedroom doorway, waiting for him to look up.  
  
"Hello." She says when he looks up.  
  
"Hello." He repeats.  
  
"I was just going to order some take-out." Margaret offers and he nods agreeing as she heads towards the kitchen for the phone.  
  
"You're handling me." He says from nowhere and Margaret pauses short of the phone.  
  
"You're not looking after yourself." Margaret says her voice rising.  
  
"I am." Leo says, his voice rising to a yell that frightens Margaret. They've never yelled at one another before.  
  
"Seven months Leo, I've asked you to go back to the hospital to ask them if anything is going on." Hearing herself yelling for the first time, Margaret frightens herself a little as well.  
  
"I don't need you calling them up and giving them little updates." Leo continues to yell.  
  
"You certainly won't call, if I don't the President is going to find you slumped on the floor someplace...or worse Mallory or me." Margaret continues with her voice raised.  
  
"I'm fine." Leo says gruffly coming down from a yell, pulling at his tie.  
  
"What did they say?" Margaret asks backing down to a normal tone of voice.  
  
"They slightly adjusted my medication." Leo grumbles sliding the tie off from around his neck, he wanders into the bedroom, effectively cutting off the conversation.  
  
"You need to be around for us." Margaret says loudly, her eyes tearing.  
  
Leo steps into her view again, Margaret looks up from where she was brushing the tears from her eyes. "Are you pregnant?" His eyes wide open while Margaret's flood with tears she can't stop.  
  
"I meant Mallory Leo, but if I was..." Margaret starts but is unable to continue  
  
"I'm sorry." Leo says opening his arms and taking her into his embrace as he wraps his arms tighter around her.  
  
*  
  
Margaret doesn't stir as the telephone blasts through the early morning silence three months later. The clock glows three thirty as Leo fumbles for the receiver, taking two attempts to grasp the cream cord. The ringing stops and is replaced by a clatter to the floor followed by Leo's curse.  
  
"Hello." He says sleepily rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Leo, we had a girl." The excited voice comes down the line.  
  
"Simon?" Leo asks his brain still sleep hazy.  
  
"CJ gave birth to a girl, about a half hour ago." Simon continues.  
  
"Congratulations." Leo says loudly sitting straight up in bed, next to him Margaret awakens.  
  
"How is CJ?" Leo asks as Margaret gives him a look asking him what's going on.  
  
"She's great, she's tired but she's crying tears of happiness."  
  
"Simon?" Margaret says grabbing the phone from Leo.  
  
"She's beautiful Margaret, she's a miracle." Simon tells her as he starts to cry down the phone line.  
  
*  
  
"Leo." Margaret shakes his shoulder where he's turned over and gone back to sleep as Margaret chatted excitedly with CJ and Simon.  
  
"We're not going down there." Leo says into his pillow, feeling Margaret flop back down into hers. He waits his head still buried listening to her breathing.  
  
"It's a quarter to four in the morning." Leo says turning over to face her. "CJ will be exhausted."  
  
"I know." Margaret says smiling at him in the morning streetlight.  
  
"You want children don't you?" Leo says softly, Margaret nods and smiles as Leo pulls her closer to him.  
  
*  
  
"CJ Cregg please." Margaret requests at the office at the front of the maternity ward.  
  
"Room 234." The nurse snips, Margaret is too excited to notice the over worked short temper. She walks off down the sterile hallway glad to be in another hospital for a happy reason.  
  
She stops outside the door waiting for Leo to catch up before knocking quietly and pushing open the door. CJ is asleep on her bed and as Margaret opens the door wider it reveals Simon sitting in a chair next to her bed. His face positively beams as he nurses his new baby daughter in his arms.  
  
"Hey." He whispers his face smiling wider if possible, five tiny fingers curling around one of his.  
  
"She's beautiful." Margaret breathes pushing carefully aside the soft baby blanket to reveal a sparse covering of light hair and two tiny eyes tightly shut.  
  
"Meet Emma Jane." Simon says quietly looking over at CJ.  
  
"Emma Jane Donovan." Margaret repeats looking over her shoulder at Leo who hovers in the middle of the room.  
  
"You want to hold her." Simon offers shifting to the edge of the seat. Margaret nods and sits down in the seat Simon was just in, taking the tiny girl from his arms.  
  
Next to her CJ stirs as Leo congratulates Simon, they step outside so not to disturb CJ as Margaret remains transfixed by the baby girls scent.  
  
"That look suits you." A sleepy voice says and Margaret turns to smile at CJ.  
  
"CJ she's beautiful." Margaret whispers looking down at Emma not hearing Leo slip open the door. He watches his wife cradling the little girl in her arms, he can see in her eyes the desire to hold a son or daughter of her own in her arms.  
  
*  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Leo asks that night putting the book down on his chest that he was reading. He's felt her eyes on him for the last five minutes and when she propped her head up from the pillow onto the palm of her hand he could stand it no longer.  
  
"Simon is so damn cute when he smiles." Margaret grins cheekily.  
  
"Hey." Leo protests pushing the book onto the floor and placing his glasses below the lamp next to him. He rolls over on top of Margaret pressing his lips to hers.  
  
"I guess you're all right." Margaret compensates continuing to tease him.  
  
"All right." Leo protests tickling her sides causing Margaret to double over in giggles.  
  
"Ok, I give in, you're the sexiest man of the year." Margaret relents still smiling but Leo has turned serious.  
  
"I saw that look on your face this afternoon." Leo says brushing a stray piece of red hair from her face.  
  
"I want to have children with you Leo, no matter how long it takes." Margaret says tenderly.  
  
"So in the spirit of Emma Jane lets try again to make a baby."  
  
* 


	17. 17

"Margaret, CJ." Leo calls, she appears almost instantly a bunch of flowers in one hand a card in another.  
  
"I'm going, I'm going." Margaret says finding it strange Leo is now the one doing the reminding. "How long has she been gone?" Margaret asks putting down the flowers and poising the pen to complete the message on the card.  
  
"She finished work a week before Emma was born...Four months." Leo calculates.  
  
"She needs to slow down." Margaret mutters signing the welcome back card and passing it to Leo.  
  
"Emma is coming in with her." Leo says as he signs his name. "Remember you're my assistant of a day, not CJ's sitter." He says as he passes back the card with a smile.  
  
*  
  
"Welcome back." Margaret says smiling as she sweeps into CJ's office.  
  
"Hey." CJ says looking up from what she's reading on the couch.  
  
"Awww." Margaret says setting the flowers down and doting over Emma who sits up in CJ's lap leaning back against her.  
  
"I've missed this." CJ looks up smiling from her work.  
  
"How could you?" Margaret sighs sinking into a nearby chair.  
  
"I guess." CJ relents. "Hey big dates coming up." She says perking up again.  
  
"Yeah." Margaret agrees looking down into her hands.  
  
"You made any plans?" CJ continues looking down at her daughter.  
  
"No, I'm thinking about another anniversary." Margaret admits.  
  
"Yeah what's that?"   
  
"Two and a half years." Margaret tells her.  
  
"Since the transplant." CJ finishes. "How's he doing?"  
  
"Fine." Margaret shrugs realizing she really has nothing visible to be concerned about.  
  
"I have a briefing." CJ smiles picking up Emma and handing her to Margaret. "You two should plan to go somewhere nice."  
  
"We'll be in my office." Margaret says taking Emma back to work with her.  
  
*  
  
"What?" Leo asks looking up to see Margaret standing on the other side of the desk with Emma in her arms.  
  
"Nothing." She replies sitting opposite the desk tickling Emma till a wide smile breaks out on her face.  
  
"CJ's settling back in Ok?" Leo asks not looking up.  
  
"She missed us." Margaret replies wiping Emma's mouth with a Kleenex she pulls from her pocket..  
  
"Can you get me the Smith memo." Leo requests looking up and watching Margaret carry Emma with her to carry out his request.  
  
Almost immediately Margaret appears back in his sight again, in her arms Emma gargles and on the TV CJ steps down from the podium.  
  
A wide grin spreads across Leo's face, he says nothing as Margaret's face questions what his smile is about.  
  
"I've got to get the little lady back to her mother." She says passing him the memo and smiling her own way out of the office.  
  
*  
  
Later that night with his shoulder leaning against the doorframe, Leo watches Margaret apply some light night cream to her face. When she's rubbed the last of the white cream in she turns smiling opening her arms to him. He steps gratefully into her embrace.  
  
"You ready for bed?" He asks over her shoulder.  
  
In reply she flicks the light leaving the bathroom in darkness, he follows her silhouette in the barely there street illumination as she crawls into her side of the bed.  
  
"So next month." Leo says as he lies down next to her. His ear tune to the crinkle of the covers as Margaret rolls over to face him, her silence telling him she's waiting for him to say more. "Our first anniversary."  
  
"I've been thinking about the other one." Margaret confesses her voice laced with emotion.  
  
"Two and a half years?" Leo confirms to Margaret's surprise that he knows the math.  
  
"Every moment of which I've worried about you."  
  
"You won't get rid of me that easy." Leo informs her pulling her around him and kissing her forehead.   
  
"Good." Margaret says softly.  
  
"Anything you want, dinner and a movie to a week on the moon." Leo offers. "You deserve the best."  
  
Margaret laughs briefly at a week on the moon, winding her hand up under the light cotton shirt Leo is wearing. Her fingers find the gentle depressions of the scars, which haven't and likely will never fade.  
  
"Surprise me." She requests as Leo's fingers find her similar scar, running along the slight indentation and back.   
  
Always they come back to their physical places, scars that are conventionally ugly but a source of strength for both of them. A reminder that life is fragile, precious and how important they are to each other. Scars that will fade only when their bodies return to the earth and their memory no longer functions.  
  
"Ok." Leo agrees feeling her slide down deeper into the bed beside him, she has always preferred to sleep close to his chest, her forehead resting next to his arm. As his body winds down his mind kicks in trying to think of a suitable way to celebrate with Margaret.  
  
Under the cover of dark a smile creeps across his face as an idea enters his head. He listens carefully to Margaret's light breathing knowing it won't take much to wake her. Carefully he sits up making sure not to disturb her before time.  
  
He waits a beat before yelling "Surprise" at the top of his voice, which reverberates through the whole house.  
  
It has the desired effect, next to him Margaret shoots sitting straight up, mumbling something in confusion.  
  
"What are you doing?" Margaret asks once the lamp is on illuminating the room. She rubs her eyes that are all ready fused together with sleep, there's a tiny bit of annoyance in her tone.  
  
"Surprising you." Leo says as if she should know.   
  
"That's not what I meant." Margaret says giving him a gentle push so he thumps down into the pillows, the light goes off again and Margaret wraps herself around him.  
  
"Do it again and you can sleep on the couch." She says, Leo knows she's not serious.  
  
"I need to go in early in the morning and talk to the President." Leo tells her.  
  
"The geniuses never want to sleep." Margaret mumbles and next to her Leo smiles wider knowing the President will be only to keen to help him with the real surprise for Margaret he has planned.  
  
* 


	18. 18

"Good morning." Margaret looks up to see The President standing in the doorway between her and Leo's office, it's creeping closer to her wedding anniversary and the office is only getting busier making Margaret wonder what Leo has planned given the fourteen hour days they've been doing.  
  
"Good morning Sir." Margaret says standing out of her chair.  
  
"Do you have a moment?" The President asks indicating towards Leo's office.  
  
Leo looks up, unconcerned as the President closes the door behind her.  
  
"We have a problem, this had just landed on my desk." The President starts holding up a blue folder.  
  
"Mark Ingall?" Leo confirms.  
  
"He's making noise about contributions this year." The President continues and Margaret wonders why she has to be here.  
  
"He wants to know what he's going to get for his money." Leo finishes.  
  
"I think he sees a couple of new sports cars, a new boat and a house in the hills as a better investment this year." The President informs them.  
  
"Uh-huh." Leo sighs.  
  
"He wants to meet you and he refuses to come here." The President says pointedly.  
  
"Sir." Leo protests.  
  
"Leo, this guy is a massive contributor." The President appeals. "We need his money."  
  
"I'm not immune to that but Sunday is our..." Leo starts.  
  
"I know, I'm sorry, he wants to talk to you... in North Dakota." The President informs them and looks apologetically towards Margaret.  
  
"North Dakota." Leo sighs.  
  
"He's on holidays." The President says dropping the folder on his desk.  
  
"When?" Margaret asks in a small voice.  
  
"Day after tomorrow." The President says and Margaret's head drops. "I know you probably had plans..." The Presidents voice trails.  
  
"I'll book some tickets." Margaret says taking it all into her stride and leaving the office, partly because she doesn't want to get further upset.  
  
When the President is gone, Leo ushers her back into his office apologizing. It stings as she says 'I understand' and hurts as she reminds herself this job, at least for a few more years needs to come first.  
  
"Cancel the tickets." He says softly, Margaret pulls out of his embrace questioning his decision.  
  
"I'll rent us a private jet, we deserve it." Leo says.   
  
*  
  
Saturday morning the alarm shatters the morning silence with its high-pitched beep. The mood is low as Margaret and Leo shower and get ready to leave. The realization that tomorrow is their wedding anniversary and neither knowing what to expect or how long the meeting will last hangs over them.  
  
"You ready?" Leo asks wrapping his arms around Margaret who downs the last of her coffee in the kitchen.  
  
"I've just got to pick up my bags." Margaret says turning around in his embrace.  
  
Leo pushes a lock of hair behind her ear, disappointment covering her face. "I'm sorry." He says leaning in to kiss her.  
  
"It's not your fault." Margaret says sliding an arm around his waist as they walk out the door to the waiting car.  
  
*  
  
Margaret pulls her coat closer to her as the sun just begins to burn off the morning chill. The plane rests impressively on the tarmac, its engines running and keeping warm.  
  
"Hop on, I'll take care of the bags." Leo tells her nodding towards the plane.  
  
He watches as she climbs the stairs and disappears inside. Out of sight he leans over to speak to the Secret Service agent sitting in the front seat.  
  
"Just put the bags inside the front door." Leo instructs handing over the key to his front door.  
  
"The passports Mr. McGarry." The agent says pulling them from his jacket.  
  
"Thanks." Leo says tucking them inside his coat.  
  
"Have a nice trip." The agent's wishes before winding up the window and instructing the driver to go.  
  
Leo waits a beat before joining Margaret, inside the door he gives the green light to leave to the pilots and heads towards the comfortable couches at the back.  
  
*  
  
"We could join the Mile High Club." Leo suggests settling into the deep leather couches.  
  
"Leo it's five thirty in the morning." Margaret replies opening her eyes for a second. Leo gets up again grabbing a pillow and blanket. He sits again propping the pillow next to his right leg.  
  
Margaret's shoes clutter to the floor as she curls up on the couch with her head on the pillow, Leo puts the blanket over her as best he can leaving a hand behind to rest protectively over her.  
  
"Wake me when we land?" Margaret asks.  
  
"You bet." Leo says with a smile on his face only he understands.  
  
*  
  
As the buildings of the city come into view Leo puts down what he's reading waiting for one particular landmark to come into view. When the historical tower comes into view he gently shakes Margaret's shoulders. She stirs with an accompanying yawn and sits up.  
  
"Feels like we've been flying for hours." She says not registering the sun outside.  
  
"We're about to land." Leo informs her nonchalantly, watching her every move.  
  
"We have transfers from the airport?" Margaret asks folding the blanket up.  
  
"Mmm Hmm." Leo says looking out the window behind him.  
  
"How far is it?" Margaret asks.  
  
"Look out the window behind us." Leo says instead, ignoring the question.  
  
"I've been to North Dakota before." Margaret answers standing to put the pillow and blanket away.  
  
"Which is exactly why you should look out the window." Leo replies looking into his lap.  
  
"Leo, you can't make this fun." Margaret sighs looking out the window nonetheless. Leo watches her eyes narrow as it registers it shouldn't be so light outside. He watches as she kneels on the couch looking closer out the window.  
  
She draws a sharp breath that fills the airplane cabin as her eyes caress over the famous tower. Next to her Leo beams.  
  
"P-Paris." Margaret stumbles turning to stare back at him.  
  
"Happy Anniversary." Leo says watching tears brim in her eyes.   
  
"Hey don't cry." He adds as Margaret throws herself around him.   
  
"You set this up." She says over his shoulder.  
  
"You wanted a surprise." Leo reminds her.  
  
"Yes, a nice piece of jewelry or a romantic dinner."  
  
"That's not good enough for you." Leo explains brushing her messy hair behind her ears.  
  
"I need a handkerchief, where's my luggage?" Margaret asks laughing at her emotional state.  
  
"Inside the front door at home." Leo replies, it's met with an astounded look.  
  
"Leo!" Margaret exclaims.  
  
"This is the fashion capital of the world." He answers.  
  
"You're going to buy me clothes?"  
  
"A whole new closet if you want." Leo answers reaching up to kiss her.  
  
"How long can we stay?" Margaret sighs.  
  
"Only a week." Leo says regretfully but Margaret shakes her head.  
  
"This is too much." Margaret says standing and twirling in the middle of the plane, from the couch Leo can only continue to smile at how happy she is.  
  
"I love you." Leo says thinking she won't hear him  
  
"I love you too." Margaret replies taking his hand and pulling him to dance with her in the middle of the plane. "Maybe we can join the Mile High Club on the way back."  
  
* 


	19. 19

Stirring Leo pats his hand over the other side of the bed reaching for Margaret, the sheets crinkled next to him, with no body to keep warm.  
  
As he raises his head from his pillow the clock glares its red five at him. Throwing back the covers and wrapping his robe around him he yawns his way into the bathroom, not noticing Margaret sitting on the floor next to the toilet.  
  
"I didn't mean to wake you." Margaret says causing Leo to jump.  
  
"Are you sick?" He asks alarmed, crouching down to press a hand against her forehead.  
  
"I've felt like I'm going to vomit any minute for a half hour, that's how long I've been sitting here." Margaret explains.  
  
"You feel like you can come back to bed?" Leo asks reaching up for the light. His question is met with a negative headshake.  
  
"Sit on this or you'll catch cold." Leo says handing Margaret a clean bath towel that she wiggles underneath her. He settles next to her on his own towel.  
  
"You should go back to bed." Margaret swallows.  
  
"I need to be in the shower in a couple of minutes anyway." Leo sighs stroking a hand lovingly across her face. "Don't come in today if you don't feel up to it."  
  
*  
  
"And we look forward to a long and prosperous relationship in future endev..." Leo dictates to Margaret the following day, she sits in the chair across from him but before he can finish Margaret rushes from the room, her hand over her mouth.  
  
He follows her ignoring the letter he wanted her to type. Knocking once to ensure she's alone in the ladies he cringes as he hears her vomiting into the bowl.  
  
When she immerges from out of the stall he wraps his arms around her at his own peril. "I feel better now." She sighs.  
  
"You should go home."  
  
"Ok." Margaret relents and he knows she must feel bad to leave before him.  
  
*  
  
"Coffee's hot." Leo says as Margaret rubs a towel through her damp hair before it stains her suit jacket.  
  
"Don't forget dinner at CJ and Simon's tomorrow night." Margaret reminds him inhaling the fresh coffee scent.  
  
"Feeling better today?" He asks nonchalantly, for the first time in a couple of days she hasn't been leaning over the toilet each morning.  
  
"Must be a virus thing." Margaret guesses taking a mouthful of her coffee. She watches him potter around the kitchen knowing there's something else on his mind.  
  
"You almost ready?" Leo asks putting the cream back in the fridge.  
  
"I've just got to put on my makeup." Margaret says swallowing another mouthful before leaving the cup half empty.  
  
"Margaret!" Leo calls five minutes later when she hasn't come downstairs, he drops his briefcase in the foyer to find where she is.  
  
Her face is pale and pasty when she looks up at him as she flushes away her stomach contents. He lifts her up from under her arms worried at how weak she is. He lays her down on the bed unbuttoning her suit.  
  
"Is your stomach empty?" He asks gently which is met by a shake of her head in the negative.  
  
He grabs her pajamas dressing her back in them again and tucking her back into the bed. He drops his jacket on the floor picking up the phone to let the President know he won't be in this morning.  
  
"Ok." The President says and Leo can hear the smile in his voice.  
  
"Sir." Leo warns.  
  
"She's been sick...in the morning...you're a month back from a romantic trip to Paris." The President reminds him.  
  
"I hope you didn't need all your economics knowledge to work that out." Leo says.  
  
"Congratulations Leo." The President says before hanging up softly, Leo walks away from the phone back to Margaret with a smile on his face.  
  
*  
  
"You sure you're up to this?" Leo asks concerned as they dress for dinner the next night.  
  
"I'm fine." Margaret assures him securing her wristwatch and kissing him on the forehead. "We're going to be late."  
  
"Hey!" Simon greets them as he opens their front door, Emma on his hip. "Welcome to the funhouse."   
  
"We bought..." Margaret says holding out the pie they picked up on the way over.  
  
"CJ will love you, she's been slaving over a hot stove all afternoon." Simon jokes, their monthly dinners have always been take-out with the visitors bringing the desert.  
  
"Hasn't she taught you to cook yet?" Margaret teases.  
  
"I've only just got him to change diapers." CJ appears kissing Margaret and Leo on the cheek in turn.  
  
"Pizza, burgers or Chinese?" Simon suggests handing Emma over to Margaret.  
  
"Ahh the real world." Leo jokes.  
  
"Chinese." CJ calls from the next room, she immerges with three glasses of wine and a sparkling drink for Leo.  
  
"To good friends." Simon toasts and they clink glasses together before getting comfortable in the living room.  
  
"How old is Emma now?" Leo asks tickling the stomach of the little girl who is propped up on Margaret's lap.  
  
"Eight joyous months." CJ smiles placing her glass on the coffee table in front of her so she can take her daughter back from Margaret.  
  
"Has she been giving you trouble?" Margaret asks concerned.  
  
"Not really, she was pretty pale last week and the week before she had a fever and she cried all night for a couple of nights." CJ explains.  
  
"What was wrong?" Margaret continues.  
  
"Nothing serious, just a fever." Simon offers. "She's all right now." Simon smiles lifting his daughter from his wife's lap.  
  
Feeling better than she has in days Margaret has another glass of wine as they four of them laugh and talk about the White House from that week, as time slips away Emma falls asleep in Simons arms and Margaret only realizes when her stomach protests, that no one has order their meal yet.  
  
"I'll put her to bed." Simon says climbing out of the depths of the couch.  
  
"I'll order, everyone want the usual?" Margaret offers putting her glass down in front of her as she receives affirmative nods.  
  
Her head feels light as she gets to her feet and she's not quite there before she blacks out. Legs buckling under her, Margaret falls sideways towards the floor out of Leo's grasp to catch her.  
  
* 


	20. 20

"Do you remember what happened?" Leo asks as Margaret's eyes flutter open and she takes in her surroundings.  
  
"I was going to order..." She recalls after a moment trying to sit up but Leo stops her.  
  
"You fainted." Leo tells her filling in the blanks.  
  
"Where are CJ and Simon?" Margaret asks concerned.  
  
"Up with Emma."  
  
"How long was I out?"  
  
"A couple of minutes." Leo says placing a cool cloth against her forehead.  
  
"Sorry if I scared you, guess I'm not cured yet." Margaret smiles.  
  
"That's Ok, this is quite a roll reversal. I do think you should make a doctors appointment tomorrow." Leo advises.  
  
"Mmm Hmmm." Margaret agrees smiling.  
  
"I know what he's going to say." Leo tells her smiling widely.  
  
"Leo." Margaret says lifting a hand to cup his cheek.  
  
"What?" He asks, his eyes smiling.  
  
"I don't want you to get you're hopes up." Margaret says seriously.  
  
"I'm going to take you home and tuck you in." Leo whispers.  
  
*  
  
Outside the doctors Margaret leans against the brick wall the next morning. She never expected to feel so disappointed when she got the negative answer she expected. She never knew just how much she wanted a child of her own, part of her now thinks she can empathize with CJ to a small degree.  
  
She also knows Leo will be disappointed and not at all satisfied with the negative answer. That decided she heads home to satisfy a hunch she has.  
  
The cream in the fridge has a used by date of three days ago, as she tips it down the sink Margaret knows it explains at least some of her illness.  
  
Ridding the sink of the slight souring smell, she knows it will be harder to rid the disappointment.  
  
*  
  
"What did they say?" Leo asks jumping out of his chair as Margaret closes the door behind her.  
  
She can't bring herself to say anything, she can only bring herself to shake her head. Across from her, Leo's shoulders slump visibly.  
  
"The cream you put in my coffee was going off." Margaret says inserting another knife.  
  
"It was fine when I poured...I'm sorry." Leo apologizes stepping towards her.  
  
"It's all right, I guess I was a little hyper sensitive." Margaret fades.  
  
"Still."  
  
"Are you disappointed?" Margaret asks tentatively.  
  
"Yes are you?"  
  
"I like the fact he or she would have been conceived in Paris." Margaret grins remembering their week.  
  
"We'll be Ok." Leo assures her as he draws her in to him to kiss her sweetly.  
  
*  
  
"Hey." CJ calls quickening her step to catch up to Margaret four months later. "Wow you look bad."  
  
"Thank you." Margaret replies in a congested voice not slowing her pace.  
  
"Don't worry about this weekend." CJ offers following Margaret as she drops papers on various people's desks.  
  
"No! It'll be fine, it's your weekend with Simon." Margaret protests. "I'll be over this by the weekend."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Positive, what are you doing for Emma's birthday tonight?" Margaret asks changing the subject.  
  
"Well I've spent all day slaving over a hot stove to bake a cake and party food just like my mother gave me." CJ tries to joke but it comes off the opposite.  
  
"You're not wonder woman CJ...she's only one, chances are she won't remember, she'll just be glad you're there." Margaret compensates.  
  
"Still." CJ says slowly staring off across the room.  
  
"You ok?" Margaret asks after watching CJ for a moment, she can almost see sadness creep over her.  
  
"Yeah I'm good." She says instantly picking up. "I've got a briefing."  
  
"Sure." Margaret says watching her walk away, wondering what is wrong.  
  
"Margaret, Leo's looking for you." Ginger says poking her head around the bullpen and bringing Margaret back to reality.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Have I got anything between four and five?" Leo asks looking up and down again when Margaret walks into his office.  
  
"No." Margaret replies after a moment.  
  
"You feeling any better?" Leo asks pulling his glasses from his eyes.  
  
"Yeah." Margaret lies, the headaches, nausea, aching joints and bladder irritability are still her constant companion. "I was just with CJ...there's something wrong but I didn't ask." She continues falling into a chair in front of his desk.  
  
"Did you talk about this weekend?"  
  
"No." Margaret replies, surprise in her tone.  
  
"You got an appointment for your cold?" Leo presses.  
  
"Friday night." Margaret confirms.  
  
"CJ's at lunch in a half hour, talk to her about the weekend."  
  
*  
  
From across the room, Margaret watches CJ weave her fork through her salad, her head weighing heavily in her hand. It isn't like CJ to pick at a salad and it isn't like something to weigh so heavily on CJ's mind.  
  
"So what have you got planned?" Margaret says enthusiastically sliding into the chair opposite CJ.  
  
"Sorry?" CJ asks looking up, the worry obvious on her face.  
  
"The belated anniversary celebrations." Margaret prompts opening her own lunch.  
  
"We'll we're not off to Paris." CJ teases perking up and Margaret blushes slightly. Although Leo's wealth is no secret and she appreciates his generous gifts, she's always conscious of how much easier she lives now because of him.  
  
"He's booked us in for the weekend at a Bed and Breakfast." CJ smiles trying to sound upbeat.  
  
"That sounds wonderful." Margaret pushes the enthusiasm in her voice.  
  
CJ only nods stabbing into a piece of lettuce.  
  
"If you don't mind me saying, you look really down these past few days." Margaret says laying down her own spoon.  
  
The honesty takes CJ by surprise and it takes her a minute to compose her words before she replies almost convincingly, waving her fork in front of her.  
  
"I've been feeling really run down, working myself too hard."  
  
"Guess a weekend off will do you good." Margaret tries to hide the fact she's not convinced.  
  
"Is seven still all right for you?" CJ confirms.  
  
"I have to get up earlier to go to work." Margaret shrugs.  
  
"She won't be a problem, we really appreciate it." CJ assures Margaret.  
  
"We're only too happy to help out." Margaret says before letting the conversation die into silence.  
  
* 


	21. 21

"What did the doctor say?" Leo asks embracing Margaret Friday night as she wanders into the living room later that night.  
  
"I got..." Margaret finishes her sentence holding up the bag from the drug store.  
  
"At least you'll start to feel better." Leo says caressing her face.  
  
Margaret nods understanding he's misread the turmoil on her face for fatigue and illness.  
  
"You should go to bed." Leo says soothingly massaging gently at her shoulders as she wanders towards the bedroom. "I'll fill up the hot water bottle."  
  
With his back turned, walking away, Margaret opens up the bag and stares at its contents for a moment before locking herself in the bathroom.  
  
*  
  
"She went down all right?" Leo asks flicking the channel on CJ and Simon's TV again.  
  
"She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow." Margaret replies leaning against the side of the couch watching the channels fly by.  
  
"It's been a very successful weekend of babysitting." Leo says settling on some news finally.  
  
"I hope CJ comes back feeling better than she has been." Margaret sighs settling herself next to Leo.  
  
"How about you?" Leo asks wrapping an arm around her.  
  
"Fine." Margaret says half-heartedly.  
  
"It might take them a couple of days to kick in." Leo compensates referring to her pills and Margaret visualizes the empty packet on the bottom of the trash bin in the kitchen, knowing full well it was never intended to fix anything.  
  
*  
  
"What time are we expecting them home?" Leo asks an hour later when the news has concluded.  
  
"Nine." Margaret answers without opening her eyes, she's unsuccessfully been trying to get some sleep.  
  
"You want to order something?" Leo asks looking down at her where she rests on his shoulders.  
  
"CJ said there were some menus around." Margaret mumbles pushing herself out of the couch.  
  
There's nothing stuck to the front or side of the fridge and Margaret can't find the menus in any of the kitchen drawers, her last hope is the pile of papers on the table. As she flicks through the utility bills avoiding any dollar values and personal information.  
  
"Have you found them?" Leo calls.  
  
"Just a minute." Margaret calls back as she glances at the next piece of paper. Her eyes are instantly drawn to the name at the top Emma Jane Donovan.  
  
"Margaret." Leo calls again, too busy scanning the paper Margaret ignores him.  
  
"You got them?" He asks again this time appearing in the room.  
  
In front of her the paper slides from Margaret's hand, she looks up at Leo with wide eyes.  
  
"What is it?" Leo asks picking up the paper.  
  
"It's blood test results and lumbar puncture results, dated yesterday." Margaret says barely.  
  
"Acute Lymphocyic Leukemia." Leo repeats what Margaret read only moments ago.  
  
"She has cancer Leo."  
  
"I'll order." Leo says avoiding the conversation, he rescues the menus from the bottom of the remaining papers. "What do you want?"  
  
"I can't eat now." Margaret whispers shuffling slowly out of the room.  
  
*  
  
"She can't be sick, look at her." Margaret says as Leo slips into Emma's room, sliding his arms around Margaret.  
  
Not knowing what to say, Leo says nothing. Emma Donovan sleeps peacefully in front of them oblivious to the distress her friends are experiencing over her.  
  
"I guess it explains why CJ has been down and her absences." Margaret continues pulling the blanket covering Emma down a little.  
  
"We can't say anything about this...to CJ and Simon, if they want us to know they'll tell us." Leo decides.  
  
He watches a gentle tear slide down her cheek and for any sign she understands.  
  
"Margaret?" He repeats and this time her head nods twice.  
  
"Hello, we're home early." Simon's voice calls from the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"Come on." Leo says helping Margaret to compose herself again before they head downstairs.  
  
*  
  
Leo isn't surprised to find himself alone in bed when he wakes early that morning, the clock glows three and Leo lies for a moment listening to Margaret sob quietly hoping she'll come back to bed.  
  
When he's tortured himself long enough, Leo puts one foot then two on the floor and pulls his robe around him.  
  
She's sitting on the couch staring at the TV that plays no pictures or sound, a delicate white hanky is dabbed against her red eyes.  
  
Leo says nothing, sitting himself next to her and wrapping his arms around her feeling her sobs wrack against him like a bad case of the hiccups.  
  
"It's not fair." Margaret chokes and Leo pulls her tighter only to have her push gently away from him. "She was a miracle and now she could be taken away from them."  
  
"Shhhhh." Leo soothes pulling her into him again. "You're getting too upset."  
  
A sudden silence descends, the quite sounds of sorrow swallowed up in the darkness of the night. Margaret rests a gentle hand on his cheek as she lifts her head from his shoulders. Her eyes caress each square inch of his face, her thumb stroking his cheek and her fingers resting on the side of his neck. Her left hand mimics her right ensuing his total attention.  
  
"We're pregnant."  
  
Confusion on Leo's face gives way to joy, tears of his own springing into his eyes that search for more details.  
  
"We're pregnant Leo." Margaret repeats, her thumb stroking his cheek again.  
  
"The meds won't they harm the..." Leo falters, the news not totally sunk in yet.  
  
"They weren't meds Leo, there's nothing they can prescribe for my cold but fluids and bed rest." Margaret explains.  
  
"What was in the bag then?" Leo smiles widely.  
  
"I was late and although that's not unusual for me at any time what with the stress of this job, this time there was the news about Emma Donovan as well. I needed to put my mind at rest, have one thing I wasn't worrying about. But as it was my appointment was too late Friday to have a proper test done so the doctor recommended I buy a home test." Margaret explains.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me the moment you found out?" Leo questions cupping her face in his hands. "No don't worry." He corrects. "I don't care, we're having a baby."  
  
His lips meet hers kissing her gently, sweetly and tenderly.  
  
"It's not fair." Margaret whispers.  
  
"You can't think about that." Leo says urgently. "There's no rhyme or reason to the way these things work."  
  
"I can't..."  
  
"You have to do the right thing, look after yourself and our baby." Leo says firmly. "Like getting the right amount of sleep."  
  
"You're going to be impossible aren't you?" Margaret asks as Leo guides her back to the bedroom.  
  
"Yes because I love you and I love this baby."  
  
"It's barely a baby right now Leo." Margaret corrects him.  
  
"I don't care...do you have another doctors appointment?"  
  
"Wednesday." Margaret informs him.  
  
"I'm coming." Leo says firmly ending the conversation and turning the light out behind them.  
  
* 


	22. 22

"You know they could bring the price down on these things." Leo calls inspecting the pregnancy test box the next morning.  
  
"For the sake of saving some money you might prefer I just wait until I got fat unevenly." Margaret deadpans  
  
"You know they need to make two types of these." Leo says inspecting the two lines. "One type for people who are trying to get pregnant and a little voice can say 'congratulations you're going to be a mother and father'. A negative response could say 'keep trying you're doing great'."  
  
"Keep trying you're doing great?" Margaret questions coming to stand in the bathroom. "As in you're great at sex?"  
  
"Then there's the version for the people who don't want to get pregnant, a positive reply shows dollar signs floating out the window over top of a big diaper. Negative could be a guy sipping champagne in his sports car surrounded by four naked blondes."  
  
"Blondes!" Margaret cries indignantly snatching the box and test.  
  
"Yeah cause you know, red heads would never do anything that trashy." Leo smoothes over.  
  
"Nice save." She smiles complimenting him as her arms wrap around him.  
  
"Do you suppose in the future there might be a third line, like you know, your child will be Presidential material?" Leo suggests.  
  
"Pressure on your child already." Margaret says resting her chin on his shoulders.  
  
"Happy, healthy, ten fingers and toes, that's the only pressure." Leo says softly.  
  
*  
  
"Good morning I'm Ella Reid." The bright young doctor greets. "This is your first pregnancy." She asks opening Margaret's blank medical chart.  
  
"Yes." Margaret answers not missing the look the doctor makes when she spots the wedding rings and she calculates Leo's age. It's an attitude Margaret will have to deal with for the rest of her life.  
  
"When was your last period?" The doctor asks.  
  
"The first of last month." Margaret answers with certainty.  
  
"The duration?" Dr Reid asks scribbling the information down.  
  
"Around seven days." Margaret averages.  
  
"Any bladder irritability, nausea or changes in your breasts?"  
  
"I've been running to the bathroom more frequently." Margaret considers, "I've been experiencing nausea for about three weeks associated with being ill. I didn't consider my breast changes any different to that which I experience during a normal menstrual cycle."  
  
Dr Reid pushes back in her chair considering Margaret's answers. "You've been sick?"  
  
"Just some bug going around."  
  
"Conception occurs around 14 days after the first day of your last period, given today is the twelfth you're about 28 days pregnant. I wouldn't expect that nausea to leave you for another six to eight weeks unfortunately." The doctor smiles. "Fuller, firmer, tender, throbbing and tingling breasts?"  
  
"All of the above." Margaret smiles.  
  
"Is this your first try at getting pregnant?" Ella Reid asks as she writes the new information down.  
  
"Yes." Leo says grinning broadly.  
  
"Bit of a miracle conception then." The doctor finishes, Margaret knows she's referring to Leo's age as well and a look passes between Margaret and Leo. "Have you had any serious illnesses or operations in the past?"  
  
"I was a live liver donor." Margaret answers looking over at Leo, Ella Reid doesn't miss the look.  
  
"You were the recipient Mr. McGarry?"  
  
Leo nods as the doctor pushes back into her chair again. "Wow." She says with new found respect.  
  
"Will that be a problem?" Leo asks hesitantly.  
  
"I shouldn't imagine so, Margaret has obviously made a full recovery, we'll monitor the situation like usual."  
  
"I'd like to assess your general health, take your blood pressure and your heart rate." The doctor tells Margaret. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Ella asks as goes about checking Margaret.  
  
"I'm not sure." Margaret answers.  
  
"If you step over here, I'll weigh you and measure your height." Dr Reid guides. "Girls are nice, I have one of each."  
  
"My friend has a girl." Margaret says and immediately is washed over with sadness.  
  
"I'm going to draw some blood and ask you to give me a urine sample as well." More information goes onto Margaret's chart as she settles back into her chair.  
  
"Can I ask why?" Margaret asks, having learnt long ago to ask when doctors seem to be prescribing things at random.  
  
"The urine test is for the presence of sugar that can lead to sugar diabetes and for a urinary tract infection that could lead to a kidney infection."  
  
"And the blood?" Margaret prompts.  
  
"Your iron levels and for syphilis that can damage your child." Ella explains.  
  
"I've been tested for syphilis in the past." Margaret informs her as the doctor draws the blood.  
  
"Right...with donation." Ella Reid remembers handing Margaret a cotton swab and a container then pointing her in the direction of the bathroom.  
  
"Are you planning on breastfeeding?" The doctor asks Leo while Margaret is in the bathroom.  
  
"I'm not really sure." Leo replies honestly. "This has all been a bit sudden, we're both still reeling from the shock of discovering the daughter of a friend of ours has cancer."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that."  
  
"It's even more tragic because our friend had two miscarriages before having her daughter..."  
  
Dr Reid nods as Margaret re-enters the room ceasing the conversation. "You probably haven't thought about this but are you considering breastfeeding Margaret?"  
  
Margaret looks across at Leo shrugging her shoulders. "I guess so."  
  
"I'll get you to put one of these lovely gowns on we'll do a breast and pelvic examination."  
  
"What are you looking for?" Margaret asks coming out from behind the curtain and shivering beneath the thin gown.  
  
"Nothing serious, just that you are capable of breastfeeding...no abnormalities." Ella Reid says as she begins the examination. "And there are no problems. If you hop up on the table I'll do the pelvic examination."  
  
Margaret lies uncomfortably on the table as the doctor palpates her abdomen. "I'm just seeing if there is any enlargement of your liver or spleen and feeling the enlargement of your uterus. I'd like to do a pap smear while I'm here as well."  
  
Margaret looks across at Leo for sympathy, he shows more uncomfortability with the doctor's fingers having to be where they are to complete the pelvic examination than Margaret is.   
  
"Right now your womb is much larger that needed for the embryo, it's anticipating its future needs. The embryo is around a half an inch long, it has eye sockets a head and tail, very reptile like. It has arm and leg buds in spade shapes. Your placenta is much larger than the embryo." Dr Reid explains to Leo and Margaret distracting Margaret from the smear.  
  
"You can get dressed again." Ella Reid says with the snap of latex gloves coming off her hands.  
  
"So far you have a perfectly healthy pregnancy." Ella tells Margaret. Next to her Leo grins, but the good news, in light of CJ's makes Margaret only feel worse. "That said it's early days, only six weeks along so you'll need to keep up the good food and vitamins, exercise and stress levels at a minimum."  
  
"You said 28 days before." Leo pipes up.  
  
"Confusing isn't it...Pregnancy really is forty weeks, we count from the beginning of the last period, whereas most popular thought is nine months, counting from the beginning of the first missed period."  
  
"Thank you for everything." Leo says gratefully.  
  
"I'd like to see you again in a month and every month till 28 weeks, you can make an appointment on your way out." Doctor Reid says standing, smiling and showing them out.  
  
"Thank you." Margaret echoes Leo in a quieter voice.  
  
"Emily at the desk will give you a pack, it has information on health and nutrition a list of numbers and people you can contact if you need help or have questions...see you next time."  
  
* 


	23. 23

"That's good news." Leo is decidedly upbeat as they walk out the main doors.  
  
"I feel..." Margaret begins.  
  
"Don't...feel guilty." Leo says and silence falls again between the two of them.  
  
"Are we going to tell people?" Leo asks picking up the conversation again as he opens the car door for Margaret, it slams after her giving her till he walks around the car and gets in to think of her answer.  
  
"I couldn't..." Margaret begins. "I couldn't walk through the halls and into CJ's office and see her try and put a smile on her face when she's had two miscarriages and now her child has been diagnosed with childhood cancer."  
  
"At some point..." Leo begins.  
  
"I know." Margaret snaps and then regrets her tone. "I'm sorry, just not yet."  
  
*  
  
"You need anything?" Leo asks once they've locked themselves inside Leo's office.  
  
"I don't want you to think I'm not overjoyed about this, because I am." Margaret begins as Leo winds his arms around her waist pressing his lips to her forehead.  
  
"We've wanted this for so long." Leo reminds her.  
  
"And we thought maybe we would never be able to but, it's just I can't get past how terribly sad for CJ and Simon it is."  
  
"And the worst bit is you can't be there to comfort CJ?" Leo finishes.  
  
Margaret nods biting her bottom lip.  
  
"What can I do?" Leo asks.  
  
"Just be there for me and hold me." Margaret requests sliding into a deeper embrace.  
  
*  
  
"Do you want a boy or a girl?" Leo asks later that night. The doona has been pushed off the bed the only illumination in the room that which reaches softly from the streetlight outside. Margaret lies on her back, Leo on his side next to her, with two fingers he's walked her tank top up far enough to reveal her stomach.  
  
"Don't care." She says softly turning her head to look at him. "I'd like him or her to have your eyes though."  
  
"And your tenacity." Leo adds. "You feel better now?"  
  
"Much...I love you." Margaret says curling herself into Leo.  
  
*  
  
"You nervous?" Leo asks as he grabs Margaret's hand, he can see Margaret's father bending over in the backyard as they walk towards him.  
  
"Is The President a trivia buff?" Margaret hisses so her father won't hear her.  
  
"Margaret!" Her father cries happily, swallowing her up into a huge hug. "Leo." He says shaking hands firmly.  
  
"We have some news dad." Margaret says biting her lip and looking at Leo.  
  
"Wait, I'd better sit down, isn't that what you always make me do." He jokes sitting on the ornamental garden seat. "Go ahead." He smiles once he's comfortable.  
  
"Dad, Leo and I… Well… Dad you're going to be a grandfather." Margaret breaks into an enormous smile.  
  
"Aha ha!" Margaret's father says jumping out of the chair and scooping Margaret up into his arms swinging her around. "I knew it!"  
  
"Dad put me down." Margaret laughs getting dizzy.  
  
"Wait till we tell your mother, she's going to faint." He says ushering them into the house.  
  
*  
  
"How long have you been doing that?" Margaret asks leaning against the back of the couch, in front of her Leo leans over the table scribbling over his third page.  
  
"Too long." He sighs.  
  
"It's not a difficult calculation to do Leo." Margaret laughs.  
  
"You'd be surprised." Leo replies striking out his sixth attempt.  
  
"The first day of my last menstrual period was the first, add ten days, subtract three months and add one year." Margaret reminds him.  
  
"The eleventh." Leo comes up with.  
  
"Give or take 14 days." Margaret reminds him.  
  
"That could make it the 25th or the 27th of the previous month." Leo says astounded.  
  
"It's not an exact science." Margaret offers, sitting on the couch next him.  
  
"You ready to go home?" Leo asks wrapping an arm around her, Margaret's eyes droop closed as her head nods.  
  
*  
  
"You're taking work home." Margaret almost groans as he meets her in the hallway.  
  
"It's not much, Sam's just done some opposition prep I need to look over." Leo assures her as they walk towards the exit.  
  
"Did that come across my desk today?" Margaret asks as they exit the building.  
  
"I guess."  
  
"It was in a green folder." Margaret sighs noticing a lack of colored folders in Leo's hand. "It's still on your desk."  
  
"Forget about it." Leo says.  
  
"No, because you'll be up all night unable to sleep." Margaret refuses turning back towards the building.  
  
"I'll meet you at the car."  
  
* 


	24. 24

Muttering to herself about how hopeless he is, Margaret goes right to the spot she knows she left the folder in. Triumphantly picking it up off the desk right in front of where Leo sits, however her celebration is cut short by the sound of the President's voice. "I asked Abbey discreetly last night, I told her I was reading something that had come across my desk, she tried to explain to me last night, but she got all technical and I get distracted when she gets in doctor mode."  
  
Margaret draws a short breath as she hears a small laugh of CJ's. The door between the two offices is open only an inch but it's enough for Margaret to hear the conversation about the silence of the rest of the building.  
  
"It works like this Sir." CJ begins. "Blood is composed of plasma and cells suspended in plasma. Plasma are made up mostly of water with many chemicals dissolved in it, they're things like proteins, hormones, minerals, vitamins and antibodies."  
  
"The cells include red cells, platelets, neutrophils, eosinophils, basophils, monocytes and lymphocytes." Simon continues.  
  
"Right and the red cells have hemoglobin in them which picks up oxygen in our lungs and delivers it to the tissues while the platelets help us stop bleeding when we're cut." The President adds.  
  
"Yes, Sir, our neutrophils and monocytes are white blood cells, they are phagocytes which ingest bacteria and kill them and the eosinophils and basophils participate in allergic responses. Then there are the lymphocytes, there are a few different types, B types make antibodies in response to foreign antigens and T types assist B in making antibodies against invading bacteria, viruses. The NK is the third type they attack virus infected cells as a natural function." CJ explains.  
  
In the next room Margaret sinks into the couch, intent on listening to the conversation as she has flashbacks of discovering about Leo's illness.  
  
"You mentioned something about bone marrow." The President inquires.  
  
"Our bone marrow is a spongy tissue that occurs in the central cavity of our bones. As a young child, Emma has marrow in all her bones, this decreases into young adulthood. Blood cell development takes place in the marrow, our blood passes through picking up the new cells when they're developed and puts them in circulation...it's called Hematopoiesis and it's stem cells which are responsible for this process." Simon continues.  
  
"So she has leukemia?" The President asks and Margaret draws in a short sharp breath.  
  
Instinctively her hand drifts to her 8-week-old embryo on the inside of her flat stomach. The books she's purchased have told her that her womb has enlarged more, her embryo now resembling a human though still only an inch long. The head is disproportionately large with the ears forming. The legs and arms have formed with tiny fingers and splayed toes. Eyes are covered with eyelids that are closed and the most beautiful thing is the steady beat of the heart that circulates blood through the vessels, the stomach active and the kidneys beginning to function.  
  
"Acute Lymphocytic." CJ says struggling with her emotions. On the other side of the wall tears flood into Margaret's eyes now. She lives day in and out with the nausea and tender breasts, a constant reminder that she'll have a child of her own soon...CJ lives with the constant turmoil in her stomach, a constant reminder her daughter is sick and may one day not be with her any longer.  
  
"CJ." The President says gently and almost inaudible to Margaret.  
  
"I'm all right." CJ says recovering herself.  
  
"Leukemia is cancer that originates in an early cell in the marrow of the body. Acute leukemia progresses rapidly and effects mostly cells that are unformed or primitive and hinders them from carrying out their normal function." Simon takes over.  
  
"So Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia is what then?" The President asks carefully.  
  
"It's an acquired genetic injury to the DNA of a single cell in the bone marrow. The leukemic cell replaces the normal marrow and results in an uncontrolled and exaggerated growth and accumulation of cells called 'lymphoblasts' which don't function as a normal blood cell would and block the production of normal marrow cells, this leads to a deficiency of red cells, platelets and normal white cells." CJ struggles.  
  
"Acquired, it's inherited?" The President asks treading carefully.  
  
"No." Simon replies levelly.  
  
"Do they know what causes it?"  
  
"There is no known cause, the only thing they know is there are higher rates of leukemia in more developed countries and higher socioeconomic groups." CJ answers.  
  
"How did you find out?" Jed Bartlet asks quietly.  
  
"We noticed she was tired and sometimes short of breath. She was paler than usual and she was getting little red spots on her skin. There were a couple of days where she had a fever and one weekend she bumped into a piece of furniture and her bruise was worse than we thought it should be." Simon informs him.  
  
"You took her straight to her pediatrician?"  
  
"He drew some blood and tested for red and white cell counts and a marrow sample from her bone. The results came back to us very quickly." CJ sniffs.  
  
"What can you do for Emma?" Jed Bartlet asks and CJ tips over into tears again. On the other side of the wall tears flow silently down Margaret's face as well. The place is silent except for CJ's tears and Simon's soothing words.  
  
"We need to start chemotherapy with Emma as soon as possible." Simon answers at last while Margaret continues to cry. "CJ's worried what the chemo might do to Emma's development."  
  
"How will chemotherapy help her?"  
  
"It kills the leukemia cells in the blood or marrow and hopefully gives her body a chance to return to normal blood cell production and normal blood cell levels. When you're diagnosed with leukemia you have approximately one trillion leukemia cells in your body, elimination of ninety nine percent of those is enough to achieve remission. Basically we want to bring about remission as soon as possible." Simon explains.  
  
"So you're never cured, hopefully you're in remission for the rest of your life?" The President questions.  
  
"Yes, Sir." Simon answers. "CJ has been hesitating, but we're going to need to start chemotherapy soon."  
  
"You can have all the time you need, for chemotherapy sessions or whatever." The President answers compassionately. "Have you told Leo yet?"  
  
"We haven't found a way to tell them yet...personally that is, they've always been very supportive when we've gone through rough patches in the past." CJ sobs and in the next room the tears roll faster down Margaret's face. She wants to burst into the room and hug CJ.  
  
"You should go home and be with your daughter." The compassionate voice of Jed Bartlet says followed by a pair of thankyous.  
  
"Oh CJ, Simon." He calls after a moment. "Is Emma a candidate for a bone marrow transplant?"  
  
"Depending on her response to the chemo she is...there's also a new and somewhat controversial technique..."  
  
"Cord blood transplant." The President finishes.  
  
"Yes Sir."  
  
"They give the patient a heavy dose of chemotherapy to kill off the cells and then transplant the blood from a baby's umbilical cord into the patient. The idea being that the stem cells in the cord blood will stimulate production of healthy blood cells in the patient." Jed Bartlet explains.  
  
"It's a possibility, but a long shot, Emma is blood type O and many of the cords kept are for private use." CJ speaks up for the first time.  
  
"You can always pray for a miracle, goodnight." The President says and after the door has closed Margaret hears a sigh escape his lips. Inside Leo's office she bites her bottom lip to prevent her cries from becoming audible.  
  
"Margaret?" Leo says softly as his eyes adjust from the dim hallway to the dark office, through everything she'd forgotten she'd left him waiting in the car.  
  
"Is it the baby?" He asks immediately seeing she has been and still is crying.  
  
With a reassuring shake of her head Margaret indicates in the negative. "Were you thinking about CJ?" He guesses correctly, wrapping two comforting arms around her.  
  
"Come on let's get you home." He says guiding her out with a protective arm around her waist.  
  
* 


	25. 25

*  
  
"Are you going to tell me why you were crying in my dark office tonight?" Leo asks softly as he takes off his coat and hangs it up.  
  
Margaret sighs and turns and looks at him. "Or was it crazy pregnant woman stuff?" He continues.  
  
"What's on your mind hey?" He asks gently brushing her hair from her face and behind her ears. Margaret leans into his touch still choosing to say nothing, she silences any further questions by pressing her lips to his and fumbling open the buttons of his shirt then hers.  
  
*  
  
"You're keeping my sort of hours." Leo says standing in the doorway to the study at three that morning. Margaret jumps in her seat in front of the glowing computer screen. She quickly shuts the open windows and swivels to face Leo.  
  
"It's not often you initiate sex." Leo continues observing casually. "Well not lately at least...feeling better?"  
  
"My nausea is not as bad." Margaret nods as Leo comes and crouches in front of her.  
  
"What are you doing at this hour?" Concern laced in his words as he looks over the pile of printouts.  
  
"Can I tell you when I'm done?" Margaret says evenly taking her hand in his and squeezing it.  
  
"I'm worried about you, about our baby, given that you've been so down lately." Leo confesses moving their joint hands to where the barely formed fetus sits.  
  
"Don't worry, that's all over now." Margaret assures him standing to walk back to bed with him.  
  
*  
  
"The President came to me today." Leo says a week later in the car on the way home.  
  
"What did he say?" Margaret asks looking over at him.  
  
"He gave me an indication that CJ would be taking time off in the future, I wasn't to ask questions." Leo tells her.  
  
"Not that you need to." Margaret answers sadly.  
  
"You have another appointment in a few weeks." Leo asks changing the topic.  
  
"3 weeks, it's routine you don't have to come."  
  
"I want to." Leo insists.  
  
"Don't, they need you here and all she'll be doing is taking my blood pressure and measuring my weight, checking for leg and ankle swelling and an ultrasound to check the development of the baby."  
  
"That's important." Leo further insists.  
  
"I have another appointment in the twelfth week, come then because they can distinguish the babies sex." Margaret suggests.  
  
"Ok." Leo agrees wrapping an arm around her.   
  
*  
  
"How'd you go?" Leo asks eagerly as Margaret returns from her doctor's visit.  
  
"Everything's fine." Margaret smiles genuinely.  
  
"Good." Leo says closing the last exit door of his office and hugging her closely.  
  
"I have something to tell you soon." Margaret whispers grasping a bunch of his shirt in her hand.  
  
Leo pulls away, mild alarm on his face.  
  
"It's not bad, it could be one of the most wonderful things in the world." Margaret assures him.  
  
*  
  
"Hello." Ella Reid greets Margaret.  
  
"Good morning." Leo replies instead, visibly keen.  
  
"Nausea gone?" Ella asks taking the usual blood pressure and weight measurements.  
  
"Yes." Margaret answers obviously pleased about this fact.  
  
"Your baby is now officially a fetus." Dr. Reid says setting up the ultrasound. "He or she is about three and a half inches and a half an ounce in weight."  
  
The jell goes onto Margaret's belly followed by the ultrasound wand. "The head is still over large, but nails are appearing on the fingers and toes, the movements of your baby have been mechanical till now but the nerve and muscle co-ordination are developing so those movements will become more graceful and purposeful. Your baby is swallowing the amniotic fluid and is passing drops of urine into the amniotic sac."  
  
The picture though by nature blurry and to most incomprehensible, forms on the screen accompanied by a quick noise.  
  
"What's that?" Margaret asks a little concerned.  
  
"That's your babies heartbeat." Ella replies watching the two becomes a captive audience to the 120 beats per minute.  
  
"Your placenta is about six times heavier that that of your baby and blood is spurting through the lung blood vessels at about eighty 'breaths' a minute...we call is breaths because it's your babies lungs, but they're not consuming oxygen." She continues moving the wand across Margaret's belly.  
  
"And the sex?" Leo asks.  
  
"The external genitals are forming, but it is very difficult to tell and I wouldn't like to speculate at this time." Ella Reid apologizes. "Next appointment, 16 weeks, we'll know for sure."  
  
* 


	26. 26

"You just feel like take-out tonight?" Leo asks standing in the shower behind Margaret. He rubs the soap over her back, massaging her shoulders while she lets the warm water run down her face.  
  
"Mmmm Hmmm." She replies reaching around to lift his hands higher.  
  
"Do you want to know the sex?" Leo asks suddenly, letting one hand rest over their baby. It takes a moment but his brain alerts him to difference, once then twice he runs his hand over her belly but says nothing.  
  
"I don't do you?"  
  
"No." Leo answers resuming his massage.  
  
"You remember when I told you could I tell you when I'm done and it could be the most wonderful thing in the world." Margaret says washing Leo's back in return.  
  
"You're ready?" He asks hopefully.  
  
"Friday night?" She requests. "There's a lot to talk about, we might not sleep that night." Margaret adds.  
  
"Doesn't matter." Leo brushes off.  
  
*  
  
"I just got off the phone with..." Leo stops finding Margaret propped up against a bundle of pillows on the bed. Around her dozens of printed documents are stapled together.  
  
"Who?" Margaret asks looking up.  
  
"Nobody important, I don't have to read all that do I?" Leo asks sitting on the bed next to her.  
  
"No, it's what I've been reading for weeks." Margaret replies leaning over to kiss him lightly on the lips.  
  
"I want to show you something I noticed the other night." Leo says grabbing Margaret's hand and leading her to the full-length mirror. He stands them sideways to the mirror, picking up the light pajama top Margaret is wearing up to her ribs and pushing the bottoms down past her hips. Sure enough in the profile image the mirror throws back the tiniest rise peeping out.  
  
"How'd you notice?" Margaret asks as Leo lets her shirt flutter back down again.  
  
"I felt it the other night in the shower." He explains turning her around and caressing her face.  
  
"It's barely anything." Margaret smiles none-the-less.  
  
"I love you and I love this baby, I notice all the little changes, just like you know when I'm not right." Leo replies. "That's part of what love is."  
  
"We love you too and right now I want to tell you how I think our little miracle could be the miracle Emma Donovan needs." Margaret says seriously and it's enough to get Leo's total attention.  
  
* 


	27. 27

"I don't want to appear condescending, but I want to be thorough." Margaret explains sitting cross-legged on the bed.  
  
"You won't." Leo assures her leaning back into his pillows.  
  
"I've been researching cord blood." Margaret explains turning to face him now he's settled.  
  
"Ok." Leo says expecting Margaret to explain further. Instead her head falls into her hands. "I had planned what I wanted to say, so I could sell you on this and now I've crumbled."  
  
"You don't have to sell me on anything." Leo assures her pulling her head from her hands.  
  
"You know that both you and I are O blood types." Margaret asks.  
  
"I do." Leo nods.  
  
"And that CJ and Simon are both A blood types." Margaret continues.  
  
"Yes."   
  
"So our child can only have O type blood."  
  
"I understand that." Leo says.  
  
"Emma can be either A or O type blood, that's the only possibility from two A type parents." Margaret further explains.  
  
"She's O type." Leo informs her and Margaret freezes looking up at him. "It was on the test results we found."  
  
"I know she's O, I found out the other night from CJ, but I don't want to get into that till I've explained this." Margaret rushes through.  
  
"Ok." Leo says evenly.  
  
"Cord blood is the blood that remains in the umbilical cord and placenta following the birth of a baby."  
  
"In this case ours?" Leo interrupts.  
  
"Yes, cord blood has in it stem cells which can be used to treat some diseases in the same way that bone marrow transplants can, only with significantly less rejections. It's collected when the umbilical cord is clamped and cut then stored before being transported."  
  
"Transported where?"  
  
"A cord blood bank." Margaret says looking down to one of her piles of paper. "You can put the blood into private storage or donate it, about seventy five percent of patients have donated chord blood transplants and the other twenty five come from siblings."  
  
"We're talking about stem cells?" Leo confirms.  
  
"Yes, but it's not using spare embryos from IVF treatment or anything like that. Usually the umbilical cord and placenta would be discarded after the birth of the baby with the rest of the medical waste. But the blood is full of stem cells that form white cells to fight infection, red cells to carry oxygen and platelets that promote healing. Emma's body is full of these cells that aren't working properly right now."  
  
"Ok."   
  
"There is an advantage with cord blood, it is 'privileged' meaning it's unexposed to most diseases but there's limited amounts of blood in the umbilical cord, about three to five fluid ounces and doctors need to match the number of stem cells in the blood with the weight of the patient to make sure the patients immune system can be re-established, which is why an adult usually isn't a candidate, but it's of most benefit to a child or anyone less that 110 pounds."  
  
"So Emma would be perfect."  
  
"Yes and on top of that you don't need such an exact tissues match and we already know our two children having matching blood type, that's one of the first hurdles when you have a rare blood type...you of all people know that."  
  
"I do." Leo says seriously. "Could we be so lucky with tissue type twice?"  
  
"It doesn't matter so much this time, antigens in our bodies are a type of protein located on the outer surface of most of our cells and they help to identify foreign bacteria and viruses. The antigens that transplant doctors look for are located on a cell called leukocyte giving them then name Human Leukocyte Antigens, HLA for short. Each person has six groups of HLA antigens but in this case only three, A, B and DR are important in stem cell transport. Each of these groups has two antigens, one from the mother and one from the father, making a total of six antigens that determine a donor/recipient match. A perfect match is therefore a 6/6 HLA. A doctor would not attempt a bone marrow transplant without a 5/6 or 6/6 HLA, but with a cord blood transplant a 4/6 HLA is sufficient because the immune system in the cord blood is less mature and hasn't 'learned' to attack foreign substances yet and are less likely to attack a recipients immune system."  
  
"Well that's one advantage I could have used." Leo jokes.  
  
"There's also lesser risk of graft-vs.-host disease because as I said the stem cells are not fully mature. That's when the patients new immune system, the one made up of the donor stem cells starts to attack the patients body effecting skin and internal organs like the liver and intestines."  
  
"But how does this cure Emma's leukemia?" Leo asks sitting forward as Margaret stacks the papers that contain the information she's already told Leo about.  
  
"The less technical explanation is Emma's body has suffered a injury to the DNA of a cell in her bone marrow that contains her stem cells that produce the blood cells, that damaged cell replaces her normal marrow and causes an uncontrolled and exaggerated growth and accumulation of cells called 'lymphoblasts' which don't function as a normal blood cell would and block the production of normal marrow cells, this leads to a deficiency of red cells, platelets and normal white cells. She will need to, if not already under going chemotherapy to wipe out those cells that aren't functioning and the ones making them not function correctly."  
  
"It doesn't sound as though this cord blood is necessary then, won't chemotherapy wipe them out and the normal functions come back?" Leo questions.  
  
"Yes, but if she doesn't respond to the chemotherapy, then the doctors will suggest Emma goes on a donor list, but if we're there they can simply give her a higher dose of chemotherapy which will kill every cell hopefully and then our babies donation of healthy stem cells will allow Emma to begin to produce her own normal blood cells again."  
  
"You sound exhausted." Leo says pushing the paper aside and bringing her down to lie on his chest.  
  
"I've spent hours researching and reading making sure we can do this." Margaret says closing her eyes.  
  
"So tell me what happens right after our baby is born?" Leo asks, Margaret closing her eyes, she knows this bit off by heart.  
  
"I sign a consent form and after our baby is born the nurse collects the placenta and umbilical cord, puts it in a metal basin and covers it in a sterile cloth, time is crucial because the blood starts to clot as soon as the cord is cut and this reduces the amount that can be collected, in the lab it's placed in a sling where the blood can collect in a special bag and can be helped along with a needle, it takes about ten minutes, we organize with the company to get the blood to them by courier, it's placed in short term storage at minus three hundred and twenty one degrees till they test to see if it's safe and it's tissue typed, it's then moved to long term storage." "For how long?"  
  
"Up to 12 years." Margaret replies. "We get two reports about six to eight weeks later, of the test results, one is for us the other goes into the medical files. It's painless and there's no risk to me or our baby and someone else takes care of everything meaning I can hold our baby after it's born."  
  
"Is there a downside to this?" Leo asks.  
  
"It's not routine procedure in hospitals, it's something we have to plan before hand and it's expensive." Margaret sighs.  
  
"How expensive is expensive?" Leo questions.  
  
"At a commercial cord blood bank we'd have to go to, it's about $1500 to store a sample with a yearly $100 maintenance fee and the collection kit, courier service and initial processing could be a few hundred dollars more." Margaret explains.  
  
"I'm sure you're going to tell me why it's money well spent." Leo says softly.  
  
"Oh Leo." Margaret says sitting up and turning to face him. "I could be carrying the answer to their prayers and it's such a simple painless procedure, CJ was there for us through your transplant and we were there for her through her miscarriages."  
  
"Livers and babies blood, you deserve a humanitarian award." Leo says pulling her back into him.  
  
"Leo, we could save Emma's life, I couldn't sit on the sidelines and do nothing, how can we not do something, even if she never needs to use it."  
  
"We couldn't just do nothing...so we will do something." Leo says turning out the last light and sliding down the bed with Margaret in his arms. "You never have to sell me anything like this, all you have to say is this is what we're going to do, to help our friends."   
  
"I love you." Margaret mumbles into his chest.  
  
"Love you too."  
  
* 


	28. 28

"You never told me about how you found out about Emma being type O." Leo says the next morning stacking the cord donation information on his desk.  
  
"The night I went back for those files you forgot, the door to the Oval was open enough for me to hear CJ and Simon telling The President about Emma's condition."  
  
"That's why you got upset." Leo says putting the pieces together.  
  
Margaret nods and Leo studies her for a moment.  
  
"We're going to have to tell them we know and we're pregnant if you still want to do this cord transplant thing for them."  
  
"I know." Margaret says barely.  
  
*  
  
"Ohhhh, you're beginning to make a bulge!" Ella Reid exclaims at Margaret's 16-week appointment. "I still get so excited." She says laughing at herself.  
  
"You love your job." Margaret smiles getting ready for the ultrasound.  
  
"7 inches long and 4 oz in weight." Ella smiles setting up the machine. "The head is still large for the body and bright red because the blood vessels are glowing through the transparent skin, heart is beating strongly and the muscles are active. Your placenta has slowed down and weighs about the same as the fetus now. But the most exciting thing is the sex can be distinguished."  
  
"You can keep that information in your pocket." Leo smiles watching the grainy picture on the screen and listening to the heartbeat.  
  
"Ok then, it'll be my secret." Ella smiles. "Everything looks great."  
  
*  
  
"You are making a bulge." Leo says later that night running a hand under Margaret's pajama top as she lies on her back reading a book.  
  
"Are you right down there?" Margaret laughs putting down her book and looking down at the bigger bump his hand makes under her shirt.  
  
"I love what pregnancy is doing to your body already." Leo continues upwards cupping her left breast that have become fuller over the past days and months.  
  
"I can't describe just how good I feel." Margaret replies turning onto her side and closing her mouth over Leo's as he continues his careful tender caresses.  
  
"Don't." Leo mumbles against her mouth.  
  
"I feel so..." Margaret begins kissing her way across Leo's jaw.  
  
"I know." He cuts her off taking charge, pulling the pajama top over her head and rolling her with him onto her back.  
  
*  
  
"We're going to have to say something." Margaret says next morning in the kitchen over coffee.  
  
"You'll be showing by next month." Leo reminds her.  
  
"And that means we have to tell everyone else as well." Margaret decides. "The press?"  
  
"If they ask confirm, but no details." Leo instructs.  
  
"The President is going to be giddy." Margaret says rolling her eyes.  
  
"That's a good word to describe it." Leo says kissing her forehead before heading back to the bedroom.  
  
"How about dinner?" Leo calls.  
  
"Dinner?" Margaret repeats not understanding.  
  
"With CJ and Simon, to break the news." Leo says coming back into the kitchen with his tie half done up.  
  
"At this house, not theirs so they can't kick us out when they get mad." Margaret says getting depressed.  
  
"It'll be fine." Leo says smiling. "We're going to be late."  
  
* 


	29. 29

"I'm so nervous." Margaret says getting up of the couch and walking around the living room. They'd managed to roll two things into one with the regular dinner of the two couples later that week, Margaret and Leo had chosen to tell CJ and Simon then.  
  
"Sit down." Leo requests softly from the couch. "They're not going to be here for an hour and it's takeout."  
  
"I need a glass of wine." Margaret sighs sitting next to Leo again and curling into him.  
  
"There's not a drop of alcohol left in this house." Leo reminds her. "We have to do it sometime, it might as well be now."  
  
"I know." Margaret says unconvinced.  
  
*  
  
"Did you make this?" Margaret enthuses putting the last piece of the pie CJ bought over into her mouth.  
  
"If only." CJ laughs. "I bought it yesterday."  
  
"You'll have to tell me where you got it." Margaret requests as Simon flips through the Paris photos he's yet to see.  
  
Leo circles the table picking up the dirty plates. "Coffee?" Margaret asks.  
  
"Yes thanks." CJ and Simon reply.  
  
"Why don't you head into the living room with those." Margaret suggests clearing the kitchen of their guests. She stands next to Leo who's half-heartedly washing the dishes.  
  
"I'm going out there now and when you've made those and given them to CJ and Simon that's when you tell them there's something you need to tell them." Leo instructs and Margaret takes a deep breath.  
  
* 


	30. 30

"Thank you." CJ says taking her cup from Margaret and lifting it to her lips. She takes a sip and places it on the coffee table in front of her next to Margaret.  
  
"There's actually something we wanted to tell you." Margaret says swallowing the lump in her throat as she sits on the generous arm of the couch next to Leo.  
  
"The weekend we looked after Emma for you." Margaret begins before Leo interrupts.  
  
"Excuse me." He says standing up and guiding Margaret to sit where he was, now he's on the arm next to her.  
  
"We were looking for the takeout menus and we were looking through the pile of paperwork you had for the menus and..." Margaret looks up at CJ and Simon who appear to have no idea of what's about to hit them. "We found Emma's blood results, then the other night I had to go back to the office for some files Leo forgot and I overheard you both talking to The President...we know Emma has leukemia." Margaret concludes looking at CJ and Simon who aren't making eye contact.  
  
"I'm very sorry." Margaret almost whispers which is accompanied by a sudden sob from CJ.  
  
The bottom of Margaret's stomach falls into a dark pit and she looks up at Leo who's looking over at CJ. Becoming further distressed and not wanting to cry, Margaret stands out of the couch, but she's prevented from leaving the room by CJ who throws her arms around her. The two women cry into each other's shoulders, Margaret trying to be strong.  
  
"Oh thank goodness, it's self centered but it's such a relief." CJ sobs letting herself out of Margaret's embrace. "I've needed to tell you so long before now, but I didn't know how to."  
  
"You both shouldn't go through this alone." Margaret says bringing CJ back into another embrace. "We want to be a shoulder for you to cry on."  
  
"They give you this stupid piece of paper and it asks who you should tell and it says it helps to be open and frank and if people know what is going on they can understand your changes in behavior and offer support. But I didn't want to burden you with more of our problems, you've been so good to us."  
  
"We want to offer support." Margaret sobs pulling CJ right up close to her, closing her arms tighter around her for a moment before CJ pulls back suddenly with a big smile on her face.  
  
"Oh my God you're pregnant!" She cries out looking from Margaret to Leo and back again.  
  
"What did you, how did you?" Margaret stumbles.  
  
"You are! Oh congratulations." CJ smiles and starts crying again, happy tears this time. "I could feel the rise of your belly just then."  
  
"I could have put on weight." Margaret says in mock indignantly.  
  
"Not localized like that. Oh you never told us, how far along are you?" CJ asks looking at Margaret from arms length.  
  
"16 weeks, we found out the same day that we found out about Emma and I didn't think it was fair to expect you to smile and be happy because I was pregnant when you'd had two miscarriages and especially when you just found out about Emma." Margaret explains.  
  
There are tears falling from CJ's eyes again as she looks from Margaret to Leo. "Of course you should have told us, no matter what, you're our friends and we're overjoyed for you."  
  
CJ opens her arms for both Leo and Margaret this time. "Simon?" She calls to her husband who's been a bystander through the whole emotional scene.  
  
He kisses Margaret on the cheek and congratulates Leo before turning to CJ. "You ok?" He asks drying her damp eyes as CJ pulls him in for a hug as well.  
  
"There's something else as well." Margaret says sitting back next to Leo who puts an arm around her.  
  
"There's more." CJ laughs wiping the last tears from her eyes.  
  
"We know that Emma is blood type O and our baby is as well because its parents are." Margaret begins and looks up at Leo who encourages her on with a nod. "We'd like to donate the blood from the umbilical cord and placenta so that Emma can have a cord blood transplant and new stem cells."  
  
There's silence in the room as CJ and Simon stare at them in shock. "You didn't find out the babies sex?" CJ asks her bottom lip trembling, eyes watering again. Simon is gazing at them and this time there are tears in his eyes.  
  
CJ's eyes blink rapidly until the tears escape running for freedom down her cheeks, it takes only seconds for her to progress to being broken down in tears and Simon having his arms around her, crying on her shoulder as well.  
  
Margaret buries her head in Leo's chest to hide her tears, he kisses the top of her head smiling. "Told you it would be fine." He whispers.  
  
"Not doing this wasn't an option." Margaret says into his chest then standing to get some Kleenex.  
  
Simon stands first pulling Margaret into a hug and lifting her off the floor. "Thank you, you have no idea what this means to us." He says over he shoulder and gently lets her down.  
  
"We couldn't stand by knowing we could help and weren't." Margaret answers focusing on CJ who is a mess as Simon goes to thank Leo.  
  
CJ manages to subside her sobbing but collapses again as she looks at Margaret. "Thank you." She hiccups trough her sobs over the back of Margaret's shoulder.  
  
"We didn't want to know the baby's sex to answer your question...Emma's going to be fine." Margaret soothes rubbing CJ's back with the front of her hand.  
  
"You can't know how much this means to me, to us."   
  
"I can guess." Margaret says as CJ pulls out of her embrace.  
  
"You're a very lucky baby, your mother and father are very special people." CJ says talking to Margaret's belly.  
  
"You should go home and be with your daughter." Margaret says gently as Simon pulls CJ to him and kisses her forehead.  
  
"We're about to start chemo with Emma, her cell count is too high to wait." Simon says pulling CJ in closer to him.  
  
"Will you come around for lunch tomorrow so we can tell you about the chemotherapy?" CJ asks looking at Leo.  
  
"Sure." Leo says looking over at Margaret.  
  
"I don't know if I'm going to be able to see my girl sicker than she is now." CJ says burying a fresh run of tears in Simon's neck.  
  
"Anything, just call." Margaret offers, she picks up their things as Simon walks next to CJ to the door.  
  
"If there's ever anything we can do for you." Simon begins.  
  
"It's not now and never will be necessary." Leo says politely but firmly and Margaret nods next to him agreeing.  
  
"Goodnight." Margaret says softly closing the door behind them, she can feel her bottom lip trembling and knows she's going to be in tears any minute.  
  
"Hey what's wrong?" Leo asks soothingly holding her.  
  
"I just want to cry." Margaret says through her tears. "I love you."  
  
Leo sighs kissing the side of her face. "God I love you too."  
  
* 


	31. 31

"Good you're here." Simon greets opening the door to Leo and Margaret the following day.  
  
"We didn't bring anything." Margaret apologizes and Simon shakes his head.  
  
"You didn't need to." Simon excuses them showing them to the living room. "I sent CJ out with Emma for a walk because I knew you were coming and I wanted to talk with you alone."  
  
"What about?" Margaret asks concerned.  
  
"The first month of chemotherapy is quite intensive and Emma will be spending quite a lot of time in hospital." Simon begins. "As you probably realize Leo, CJ is taking this month off, but I have to keep working."  
  
"The President could ask to get you time." Leo offers.  
  
"I appreciate that, but with all the medical bills that are soon going to be coming in, CJ and I can't afford for one of us not to be working."  
  
"We could help out." Leo offers.  
  
"No." Simon says adamantly but politely. "You've already doing and sacrificing so much for us, I could never ask you to help us out with money."  
  
"It's no sacrifice at all." Margaret says shaking her head.  
  
"There is one thing..." Simon pauses. "Sometimes I'm going to be out of the district, it's unavoidable. I need to ask if you could be there for CJ when I can't be. I'm afraid at chemotherapy sessions she's not going to cope and I'm afraid she's going to break down when she gets home with Emma and the chemotherapy starts effecting her. I still remember the shock, the sadness and the fear I felt when I answered the phone. There were a thousand questions going through my head. I wasn't exactly sure what leukemia was, what treatments Emma would have to undergo, I worried about my health insurance covering the treatment, I didn't know if Emma would recover or what side effects she might experience. All I know is CJ was in denial until the paperwork came to us and then I could see the fear and anger. The worst bit was by far that guilt, 'I've failed him' all over again."  
  
"How is she now?" Margaret asks compassionately.  
  
"She eventually accepted it and she was beginning to find her own way to tell you before you beat her to it. I'm pleased she feels ready to talk about it with you."  
  
"We'll be there for whatever." Margaret promises.  
  
"Hello, we're home!" CJ calls and Simon mouths thank you to Leo and Margaret.  
  
*  
  
"Explain to me the treatment." Margaret requests as she helps CJ wash up after lunch.  
  
"The first thing that's done is the child is divided into a standard, high or very high risk category to make sure the correct types and doses of drugs are given." CJ says passing Margaret a plate to wipe.  
  
"Emma is high risk." Simon adds from his seat at the kitchen table next to Leo.  
  
"The first month is intensive, with frequent visits to the pediatric oncologist. Emma will have to spend much of the time in hospital because serious infections are common but only three percent of children die in this initial stage."  
  
"Then what happens?" Leo asks.  
  
"The next stage is a consolidation program of four to six months. It's the most intensive phase to reduce the leukemia cells to nil. They use a combination of drugs to keep the remaining cells from developing a resistance. When she's in remission, maintenance therapy begins with other drugs." CJ concludes.  
  
"How long in total?" Margaret questions.  
  
"Two years." Simon says.  
  
"So Emma is high risk what does that mean for chemotherapy?" Margaret asks putting away four glasses.  
  
"Children with standard risk receive three drugs, Prednisone which can give Emma a big appetite, fat cheeks, risk the chances of infection and raise her blood sugar. There's Asparaginase which she could have an allergic reaction to and Vincristine which can cause constipation, pain in the jaw, tingling fingers and weak angles...it's the one that causes hair loss. A fourth type of drug anthacycline is added for high risk children." Simon answers.  
  
"Can it recur?" Leo asks carefully.  
  
"It can and it will be treated again with chemotherapy, different drugs will be added to the standard ones. If it returns quickly there will be a need for new and more aggressive chemotherapy. If it comes back within 6 months of starting therapy a stem cell transplant is considered." CJ replies.  
  
"Let's pray it doesn't come to that." Margaret says hugging CJ.  
  
"Our first session is tomorrow." CJ says barely.  
  
*  
  
"You know you can't come." Margaret says later that night in the darkness of the bathroom.  
  
"Come where?" Leo asks turning over.  
  
"To the hospital for Emma's chemotherapy." Margaret enlightens him.  
  
"Why not?" Leo asks sitting up and turning on the light blinding Margaret.  
  
"You're immunosuppressed Leo, you can't walk into a pediatric ward full of sick children."  
  
"I don't think..." Leo begins.  
  
"You can't." Margaret says firmly.  
  
"I've spent plenty of time in hospitals." Leo defends.  
  
"The hospital was set up especially for immunosuppressed patients." Margaret sighs frustrated.  
  
"A hospital is a hospital."  
  
"Don't...please don't make this like last time, you can't go Leo it's too risky and this time there are two people counting on you." Margaret sighs reaching out for his hand bringing it to her stomach.  
  
"I'm sorry." She says softly bringing him into her embrace.  
  
Behind him Margaret turns out the light sliding them back down the bed together.  
  
* 


	32. 32

"You're going to the hospital today?" Leo asks the following week.

"Simon is in Georgia." Margaret sighs pulling a brush through her hair.

"She's going to need you." Leo says tucking in his shirt. "How about I get the temp to stay for a couple of days?"

"CJ would appreciate that." Margaret nods.

"So would Simon."

"I know, but I'm not sure I won't end up in a weepy mess with CJ." Margaret says turning to look at him.

"You're the strongest person I know." Leo replies sincerely.

"Who else could put up with you for all these years." Margaret whispers fixing her fringe.

"I heard that, see you tonight." Leo says kissing her on the cheek. 

*

"What are you doing here?" CJ asks looking pleased to see Margaret.

"A little bird told me you might like some company." Margaret teases standing next to CJ outside Margaret's room.

"Simon told you he had to go out of town?" CJ says wryly.

"How is she?" Margaret asks avoiding the answers.

"She's asleep, she's been vomiting a little and she's probably experiencing some nausea. There's a sitting room this way." CJ says leading Margaret down the hallway decorated with bright children's pictures. "They came and put the central line in yesterday."

"Is that like what Leo had?" Margaret asks.

"It's a plastic tube that they inserted under her chest under a general anesthetic. The surgeon had to make a small cut in the vein in the neck and feed the line down towards the heart. The other end is tunneled under the skin to emerge on the front of the chest as an external line. They place a removable bung on the end of the line which allows sampling of blood and injection of drugs." CJ explains.

"So the chemotherapy goes through this central line?"

"Because Emma is going to require repeated blood tests, blood transfusions and chemotherapy she would have had to have many needles stuck in her, a central line can remain in place for many months and they avoid the discomfort of repeated injections."

"There were problems with Leo's T tube but." Margaret recalls.

"They can fall out but thankfully Emma won't bleed to death, it can get blocked or it can become infected which they simply give antibiotics for or remove it." CJ sighs. "I spent an hour learning how to change the dressing around central line. It has to be changed three times a week to prevent infection. As well as that I learnt to do a heparin flush to prevent the blood clotting in the external tube, that has to be done daily."

"How are you holding up?" Margaret asks concerned.

"I'm scared." CJ says hoarsely and Margaret flinches.

"I spent yesterday meeting all these people who are working to help Emma and at the end of the day I sat down and counted them all up. There's our pediatrician who first suspected leukemia, the pediatric oncologist, the ward doctors who are doing the tests, the nurses, the surgeon, the hematologist who work in the labs and look after Emma, the radiologist who does the x-rays, the pathologist who analyses samples and the pharmacist who prepares and dispenses Emma's drugs. Then there's the people who are available to us but we haven't used yet, the play therapist to help Emma cope with the experience of being ill and being in hospital."

"You might need one of them too." Margaret jokes softly.

"Dietician to look after Emma's nutritional needs and a psychologist. Then the social worker came to see me and she started talking about practical, emotional and financial problems and I started thinking about when all these people's bills start coming in." With her bottom lip trembling CJ holds back the tears. "And Simon has to work, he can't be here because we can't afford for him to be, but I need him here for Emma and me."

"Shhhh." Margaret says soothingly wrapping her arms around CJ. "Don't worry about money, Leo and I can help you out with whatever you need."

"Then the social workers started talking about demands, stress and strain on the marriage and I laughed because it wasn't like we didn't have enough demands already with Simon away. There's so much they told me yesterday and I need to tell Simon because Emma's his daughter as well and I feel so overwhelmed. They gave me this diary and I'm supposed to keep a daily record of her temperature, activity level, sleep patterns, chemotherapy drugs and side effects so I can explain her medical status when they ask."

"Why don't you tell me, I used to tell my parents everything everyday when I donated my liver to Leo and it helped, even if they didn't know what I was talking about." Margaret suggests.

"Before anything they told me all about chemotherapy." CJ says leaning back into the chair.

"Talk to me like I came in on the last breath of wind." Margaret says smiling.

"Well chemotherapy works by interfering with the ability of a cancer cell to divide and reproduce itself, meaning they become damaged and eventually die. The drugs are carried through the blood so they can reach all parts of the body. It has to be carefully planned so it destroys the cancer over the course of the treatment but not the normal cells and tissues. Most of the areas effected by chemotherapy are where cells normally rapidly divide and grow, the mouth, digestive system, skin, hair and bone marrow."

"Something I think I already knew." Margaret says frowning.

"Then they were telling me about possible side effects. Loss of appetite and weight is one, chemotherapy can effect the lining of the stomach so she doesn't want to eat, they're going to monitor her weight and if she looses too much they'll feed her through a naso-gastric tube or through the central line."

"Are there long term loss of appetite effects?" Margaret asks handing CJ a Kleenex she remembered she had.

"No the weight should return when the treatment is over. Emma will loose her hair temporarily because of the chemotherapy. The more serious ones are suppression the bone marrow so it won't be producing as many white and red cells and platelets which can lead to infection that is the last side effect. Emma could absorb germs through her skin or stomach, measles and chicken pox is really serious."

"She'll have to live like Leo for a little while." Margaret smiles trying to lighten the mood.

"As for long term effects, strength and stamina may be reduced, there might be reduced pulmonary function due to lung damage, thyroid dysfunction and sometimes stunting of growth. When Emma reaches adolescence she could have problems with sexuality and sterility." CJ tells Margaret, unable to hold back any longer she breaks down in tears. "I might save my daughters life but she may never be able to have a daughter of her own. Or I might not be able to save Emma and the precious few years she lives are inside four hospital walls with tubes coming out of her and drugs going into her making her feel worse."

"Does Emma know what's going on?" Margaret says curiously.

"The nurses told me I should tell her she is sick and has to have medicine to get better because she doesn't have the ability to understand leukemia. They want me to be there to comfort her during procedures as long as I'm prepared to see Emma suffer because if I'm not a calming presence I shouldn't be in the room. They said if I gave Emma choices, decisions to make on her own like what juice box to have it will help her because she needs to control things around her. I never talk to the doctors without her being in the room because that can create fear and anxiety."

"So you stay with her all day?"

"The nursing staff come around and encourage me to go outside for a short break because being in the same surroundings of worry and stress isn't helpful for me or Emma. When I leave I make sure I say goodbye, tell Emma where I'm going and when I'll be back. Anyone can come and visit her, but it's tiring and frightening when a lot of people are in the room."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Donovan, she's waking up." The nurse says popping her head into the room.

"I've got to go." CJ says standing up. "Thank you." She adds squeezing Margaret's hand.

"I'll come by in a minute and if she's up to it I'd like to say hello." CJ nods in response to the request.

*


	33. 33

Hey." Margaret says when her call is transferred.

"Hi." Leo says and in her mind Margaret can see him push back into his chair. "Where are you?"

"At the hospital, I just let CJ pour everything out."

"You Ok?" Leo asks concerned.

"Nnn Nnnn." Margaret says biting her lip to will back the tears. "I don't know how well CJ's coping, she scared and alone, she's worried about medical bills and the effect the chemotherapy is going to have on Emma. I'm about to go in and see her and I'm going to collapse into tears out in the hallway."

"You want me to come and get you?" Leo asks.

"No, I'll be fine, I just wanted to hear your voice." Margaret says unconvincingly.

"Ok, love you see you tonight."

"Love you too." Margaret says gently replacing the handset on the phone.

*

"She's got have a blood transfusion this afternoon." CJ says meeting Margaret outside Emma's room.

"So soon?"

"She's anemic because of the chemotherapy. She's tired, lethargic and breathless, the doctors are saying the oxygen in her blood is low. The transfusion will start relieving the symptoms in twenty four hours. She needs a platelet transfusion as well." CJ says burying her head in her hands. "She's gone back to sleep again."

"Margaret!" A familiar voice calls, the recipient of the name spins to see Leo.

"Leo what are you doing here?" Margaret says with a mixture of surprise and anger.

"You sounded upset..." Leo starts.

"You should go home, thanks for being here today." CJ says gratefully squeezing her friends' hand.

"When's Simon back?" Margaret asks.

"Day after tomorrow." CJ replies pushing a smile.

"Ok."

"Margaret, Emma needs blood." CJ says in a low voice.

"Ok." Margaret nods knowing what CJ's asking before turning to leave with Leo.

*

"I asked you not to come today for a perfectly valid reason." Margaret says angrily, breaking the silence of the car ride home.

"What was I supposed to do, you call me up on the verge of tears telling me you just wanted to hear my voice." Leo defends.

"And any disease incubating in that hospital you could now have contracted." Margaret yells.

"What about you, you're letting CJ pour her heart out to you and because it's such a heartbreaking thing that's happening to her family, you're getting all emotional and I'm sitting in the office wondering if my next call is going to be from Emergency because the baby is aborting due to it's mother not emotionally coping. I'm worried about you and our baby." His voice laced with anger, Leo looses the battle to control the volume of his voice.

"And I'm worried about you being there for our baby." Margaret comes back as the two stare each other down.

"I'm sorry." Leo backs down first.

"I'm sorry too." Margaret concedes burying her head in Leo's neck. "How long were you in the hospital?"

"20 minutes I got lost." Leo says and can feel Margaret smile into his neck then sigh.

"I told The President we'd come and see him tonight. It's time to tell him and Abbey. Toby, Josh and Sam will be in their offices till late." Leo says brushing her hair through his fingers.

"What about Mallory?" Margaret asks.

"I'm still trying to work that one out, it's not going to be easy for her to swallow the word half-brother or sister."

*


	34. 34

"You've covered up your bump." Leo observes later that night as they get ready to go to the Residence.

"I know." Margaret says cheerily pushing back her hair.

"I'm proud of that bump." Leo says standing behind Margaret and looking in the mirror at her.

"So am I, but I'm going to walk in there and Abbey Bartlet will guess right away and it won't be a surprise." Margaret tells Leo her plan.

"Ok." Leo shrugs picking up the house keys.

*

"Margaret the steward just sent up this lovely bottle of wine, you'll have a glass with me won't you." The President booms once they're comfortable in the sitting room. The glass lands in her hand courtesy of The President and Margaret looks at the deep red wine.

"I'll have to pass Sir." Margaret says handing the glass back.

"You haven't joined Leo on the wagon have you?" The President jokes and when Margaret doesn't reply he stares wide eyed at her.

"Just temporarily I suspect." Abbey speaks up, watching Margaret's face for a reaction.

"What are you talking about woman, you wouldn't have a drink either." Jed Bartlet reminds his wife.

"I think Leo and Margaret have something to tell us." Abbey stands shuffling over to her husband.

"You want to tell them?" Leo nudges Margaret.

"In five months time Leo are going to have..." Margaret looks over at Leo smiling. "The house renovated."

Leo looks over at her and laughs while The President looks confused, Abbey looks less than impressed.

"Which room in particular?" Abbey asks eyeing the pair suspiciously.

"One of the spare bedrooms." Margaret says innocently.

"And what color scheme were you thinking of?" Abbey continues a small smile spreading across her lips.

"We won't know for another five months." Margaret says unable to hide her smile, Abbey unable to hide hers either.

"Oh congratulations!" Abbey says pulling Leo and Margaret into her, the President is left to by stand not understanding the little cryptic conversation.

"Excuse me?" The President asks watching the three hug in celebration.

"They're going to have a baby in five months you idiot." Abbey says lovingly to her husband.

"You're kidding me." The President says with wider eyes this time. He pulls a bewildered Leo into him. "A job awfully well done, congratulations." He says over his friends shoulder.

*

"CJ said that Emma needs blood donations." Margaret calls to Leo from the bathroom later that night.

"Is there a serious shortage?" Leo asks where he's reading on the bed.

"I thought I'd go down and donate." Margaret says shimmering into the nightgown that highlights her growing bulge. 

"You can't." Leo calls back.

"You can't because you're immunosuppressed, but I can." Margaret answers.

"No you can't." Leo repeats. "Doctors don't advise it because it could jeopardize your health and the babies, although they don't have any strong evidence."

"She really needs it." Margaret reminds him.

"I know I just...when are you coming out of there I feel like I'm talking to the door." Leo says putting down his book.

"In a sec...It's CJ she wouldn't ask if the blood bank wasn't low."

"Maybe you could give a half donation or something." Leo suggests hearing the door open finally.

"Maybe." Margaret says subtly watching Leo's eyes run from her toes to her head in the new maroon nightgown.

"Uhhhmmm." Leo says suddenly lost for words in the gown that curves over her body's changes.

"I think Sam, Toby and Josh were a bit nauseous at the thought of us having sex today." Margaret says slipping one spaghetti strap and then two off her shoulders, the silk gown slides unsupported exposing much more of her breasts.

"Can we not talk about them if we're going to do this?" Leo stumbles through the sentence as the gown falls further till it's only held up by the new life they've created.

"Ok." Margaret says sliding her arms around Leo's neck and pressing her lips to his.

*

"Leo you're temperature's up." Margaret informs him the following fortnight.

"I have a headache today." He complains returning to the kitchen with a handful of papers.

"Did you take something for it?" Margaret asks her concern growing.

"Yes, don't panic yet." Leo requests of her.

"I'm worried about you having been at the hospital." Margaret says straightening his tie.

"I'll keep you informed if I start to feel any worse." Leo promises. "You're at the hospital today with CJ?"

"It's Emma's last chemotherapy in the intensive period." Margaret says kissing him on the cheek.

"Don't get upset today." Leo instructs her.

"Don't get any sicker." Margaret warns him.

"Don't forget about Mallory tonight, love you." Leo has the last word before walking out.

*

"Excuse me there's a message for you." The duty nurse says as Margaret walks back from the play area with CJ and Emma. 

"I'll catch up." Margaret promises looking down at the message that's from Leo's office but not Leo.

"Do you have a pay phone?" Margaret asks concerned about the message, the nurse points back down the hall.

"Hello." Margaret says getting herself further worked up as she talks to the temp.

"Mrs. McGarry I don't mean to panic you but your husband has been coughing a dry cough all day, he hasn't eaten anything and he's been complaining about feeling general discomfort." The temps voice wobbles.

"Does he have a temperature?" Margaret asks and as soon as she has says it she realizes the temp will have no idea.

"I don't know, but I didn't know whether to tell him he should go home or not."

"You did the right thing calling me, thank you. I'll be there soon." Margaret promises

*


	35. 35

"I can't believe you came and got me from work." Leo complains as Margaret shuts his car door.

"I'm driving you right to the hospital." Margaret tells him her intentions.

"No!" He says vehemently. "You can't Mallory is coming tonight."

Margaret sits with her hands on the wheel considering his pleas.

"All right, but you're going home straight to bed and if you're any worse in the morning I'm taking you right to hospital." Margaret relents.

"Yes boss." Leo says and Margaret gives him the don't test me look.

*

"How are you?" Mallory says politely but guarded as Margaret opens the door to her.

"Good." Margaret smiles leading Mallory into the living room. "Would you like a drink?"

"Water would be fine thanks...Where's dad?" Mallory asks as Margaret pours a glass of the cold water from the fridge.

Margaret freezes asking herself what she should say. "He's upstairs asleep."

"Asleep?" Mallory says incredulously as she takes the water from Margaret.

"Yeah he had a headache today." Margaret lies badly. "I'll just got wake him."

As she climbs the stairs Margaret knows Mallory just saw right through her and there's no reason why she should be lying to Leo's adult daughter. She should be confiding in her.

"Leo, Mallory's here." Margaret says as she walks through the door, her eyes falling on her sleeping husband.

"Leo." Margaret begins shaking his shoulder till she notices the sweat soaked pillow and Leo's face. Pressing her hands against his neck Margaret can't ignore the swollen glands. Placing her hand on his forehead, she comes up with a temperature that alarms her enough to shake Leo roughly.

"Leo." Her voice trembling on the edge of desperation. He rouses slowly sitting up carefully.

"How do you feel?" Margaret asks becoming increasingly frightened by the fatigue showing in his features.

"I'm cold." He says shivering and gathering the blanket back around himself. "And my chest..."

"What about it?" Margaret asks urgently.

"There's a sharp pain, like stabbing." Leo coughs pushing back the covers too quickly for someone who just confessed as being cold and hurries to the bathroom. The pieces fall into place as she hears the sound of him vomiting.

In blind panic Margaret grabs an overnight bag stuffing what she can quickly grab that Leo might need while he continues to empty his stomach.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." Margaret trembles once Leo emerges from the bathroom.

*

"What is it?" Mallory asks the doctor on duty, looking at her lifeless father sleeping in the hospital bed.

"It's pneumonia in immunocompromised host or pneumonia in immunodeficient patient." The doctors answers honestly and Margaret buries her head in her hands.

"What's that?" Mallory asks.

"It's an infection in the lungs of a person whose mechanisms to fight infection are significantly impaired. It can be prevented by limiting exposure to others who are ill."

"I told him." Margaret whispers.

"Are you sure?" Mallory demands.

"On admission we heard distinct crackles in the patients breath sounds and from what Mrs. McGarry told us the symptoms were and from Mr. McGarry who told us those symptoms specifically fatigue have been developing over the weeks we know it is pneumonia." The doctor confirms. "I understand Mr. McGarry has a stressful job and fatigue isn't an unusual experience for him so the waters were a bit muddied."

"Damn him." Margaret curses knowing he's been keeping things from her.

"We've done a chest x-ray a CBC and an arterial blood gas and we're just waiting on the results." The doctor explains.

"What are you going to do then?" Mallory demands.

"We'll aim to eliminate the infection with antimicrobial therapy."

"What's that?" Margaret interrupts realizing the word therapy isn't always therapeutic for those having it.

"It's a combination of antibiotics and antifungal agents." The doctor answers. "I have to warn you if Mr. McGarry is severely immunosuppressed the prognosis might not be good."

"There could be complications?" Mallory asks carefully.

"In some cases respiratory failure or death." The doctor says carefully. Struck the two women turn to look at their husband and father, tears brimming in their eyes. "I'll be back again shortly." The doctor informs them but neither woman notice.

*

"Here you go it's decaf." Mallory says handing Margaret a cup of coffee from the hospital cafeteria. "I hope you didn't go to much trouble with the meal tonight."

"No, it's nothing that I can't re-heat for the next week and a half." Margaret manages a weak smile.

"I phoned Sam and told him what was going on while I was away." Mallory tells Margaret sitting next to the bed.

"Thank you." Margaret says softly letting the room fall into silence. As minutes tick by like hours Margaret can stand it no longer. "Mallory."

"Mmm." She says looking over at Margaret from where she's holding her sleeping fathers hand.

"We invited you over tonight to tell you some news we have." Margaret says breathing deeply.

"What's that?" Mallory asks pulling the hospital blanket higher over Leo.

"We're pregnant." Margaret says as tears pool along her bottom eyelids.

"Oh Margaret, congratulations." Mallory sighs getting up to hug Margaret who's becoming distressed. "You did such a good job of hiding it tonight. He'll be fine I know it, look what he's been through already. What you've both been through."

"I know." Margaret says barely.

"Hi." The doctor says stepping back into the room as the two women embrace.

"I'm sorry I forget your name." Margaret manages a small chuckle.

"Adam Harvey." The doctor smiles. "I came in to tell you we're going to have to intubate your husband soon."

"Could we step out in to the hall?" Mallory requests.

"Intubation is when we put a tube down Mr. McGarry's throat, it will help him breath." Adam Harvey explains.

"That's only short term though." Mallory says shifting from foot to foot.

"The key to management in immunosuppressed patients with pneumonia like your father is rapid identification of the pathogen and then the institution of focused therapy, right now our labs are working on the identification of the pathogen and as soon as we know we'll start with the right combination of drugs." Dr. Harvey explains and it seems to lift a small weight from both of the women.

"When will he be able to come home?" Margaret asks tentatively.

"I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to be a long road. We need to monitor your husband closely and change his drugs and most of all we need to keep him away from contact with other immunosuppressed people, frequent crowded situations and children. The best place for him is here. Patients with this type of pneumonia are usually discharged after about a month but may need supplemental oxygen for about a month after that."

General acceptance washes over the women who turn to look back at Leo.

"Unfortunately we can't make you comfortable here in the hospital, is there someone who can come and stay with you?" Dr. Harvey inquires.

"There is." A familiar voice says, Margaret turns to see Ginger standing hand in hand with Toby.

"Hi." Margaret mouths as Ginger opens her arms to comfort Margaret in them.

"It'll be fine." Ginger says soothingly.

*


	36. 36

"How did you find out?" Margaret asks placing her keys on the foyer table.

"Sam called me." Toby answers looking around the house.

"There's spare bedrooms upstairs, pick one." Margaret says trying to smile.

"Have you eaten?" Ginger asks and Margaret looks at the clock that says one am. She can hardly see the point.

"There's a salad and some cold cuts in the fridge I was going to serve tonight." Margaret says.

"Do you have bread?" Ginger asks.

"I think so." 

"Sandwiches it is." Ginger says trying to sound up beat. "I'll be right back down."

For a minute or two Margaret wanders through the living room, touching things at random and trying to clear her cloudy head. All she feels like doing is climbing upstairs, crawling into bed and curling up for a month till it's over.

She passes Ginger and Toby unpacking the personal items they bought with them onto the bed. "We shouldn't have picked this room." Ginger's voice floats through as Margaret pulls out her maroon nightgown.

"Why not?" Toby replies gruffly.

"It's right next to Margaret and Leo's." Ginger states the obvious.

"So?" Toby questions getting annoyed.

"It's probably the room they're going to make the nursery." Ginger assumes.

"So, Margaret's not due for about four months." Toby reminds her.

"So." Ginger sighs. "I can't believe I have to say this, the last thing she needs is to listen to is you and I making love while her husband is tied down with tubes in hospital." Ginger explains.

"We're going to have sex in a bed my boss bought?" Toby questions and Margaret smiles, she's sure she heard Toby's voice go up an octave.

"Margaret said in her car on the way here it could be a month before Leo's discharged. Can you abstain for that long?" Ginger ask and Margaret can hear the smug in her voice.

"You're right." Toby concedes. "Do you think it's too late to move to the room at the end of the hall?"

"Never." Ginger replies followed by the muffled sounds of the two packing up again. 

For a moment Margaret can smile about her friends but it fades as she looks over at the empty bed she'll be sleeping in tonight and the maroon nightgown that she bought for Leo. It pulls a little tighter over her bulge since the last time she had it on and she wonders in a month how many more things Leo will miss. Suddenly she feels all alone and useless.

Margaret turns looking left and right gathering a mental list of all the things Leo could need for an extended stay in hospital. She drops the razors and shaving cream on the bed with the shampoo and conditioner, she riffles through his underwear pulling out his clean changes. She grabs the book he's currently reading and his glasses, the photo of Mallory and their wedding day goes on top of clean pajamas. When she can think of no more Margaret stands in the middle of the room focused on each fixture in the room for something she might have forgotten. It only takes the slightest of flutters to take away her concentration.

Her hands slide quickly around her bulge willing the baby to move again as if the first time it was a dream. Sure enough the movements come again and for the first time in a long time Margaret smiles. Excited her feet carry her down the stairs to the living room. "Leo, you have to come and feel this our baby's..." Margaret calls out as she steps into the room to find Toby settled in front of the TV, "moving." Margaret finishes, the horrible reality of Leo being ill in hospital she'd been deceiving herself of in two minutes of joy come crashing back to her.

"Excuse me." Margaret says as Ginger comes in from the kitchen, she cries all the way up the stairs, as she crawls into bed and for the next few hours. The baby doesn't move again that night.

*

"How's Emma doing?" Margaret asks as she sits with CJ and Ginger waiting for her name to be called.

"The leukemic cells weren't being destroyed as fast as they'd like so they're continued the intensive first part of chemotherapy for another month." CJ explains.

"Simon?" Margaret questions.

"He's staying in the district." CJ nods. "How's Leo?"

Margaret swallows. "It's a long road, it's only been a week but I've been there everyday and the doctors are doing everything they can. Poor Mallory in one night she found out her father is sick and I'm pregnant."

"How are you coping?" CJ asks.

"I'm all right." Margaret smiles looking over at Ginger. What she can't bear to tell either of them is it's torn her up everyday this week to see Leo in the hospital bed and although Ginger and Toby have been a great help she would like nothing more than to have them banished from her house and out from under her feet.

*


	37. 37

"I wasn't aware this was a party." Ella Reid says brightly, smiling at the three women.

"These are my friends, Ginger and CJ, Leo's not feeling well." Margaret says not wanting to confess of the whole truth.

"Give him my best wishes for a speedy recovery." Ella smiles. "Well you're fifth month, have you been shopping for new clothes yet?"

"I haven't needed to." Margaret says getting up on the table for the ultrasound.

"Well that's about to change because you're baby is now ten inches long and eleven ounces in weight. The skin is less transparent and is covered in a fine downy hair we call lanugo." Ella explains smearing the jell over Margaret. "Your baby has some hair on its head and he or she has eyebrows but it's eyelids are still shut. The internal organs are becoming more mature but at this stage your baby's lungs couldn't cope with life outside the uterus."

"Neither can I sometimes." Ella adds as a little jokes.

The picture blinks onto the screen drawing Ginger and CJ closer, they sigh transfixed by the quick but steady heartbeat.

"Have you felt it move?" Ella asks excited pointing out the head arms and legs.

"I'm not sure." Margaret says vaguely realizing the possibility that Ginger caught all of her call for Leo the other week to come and feel the movements, not just the end. She doesn't doubt Toby would have told her when Margaret went back upstairs. Ginger keeps her mouth closed and Margaret's secret safe. What she can't tell anyone is she hasn't even told Leo about the movements or given him a chance to experience them for himself. Each time she's seen him he's been so sick she doesn't even think he'd be able to comprehend what's happening.

"Well your baby should become very active floating around in the amniotic sac, a bit like an astronaut. We call it 'quickening' because it was once believed that the baby only became alive at this time, it's reflected in the Biblical reference to the 'quick and the dead.' You might notice periods of rest and periods of activity, your baby's limbs stretching cause the activity, and unfortunately they can sometimes pick their time...like the middle of the night. " Ella explains.

"It's always the middle of the night." CJ pipes up.

"The voice of experience." Ella smiles.

*

"Come on we're going shopping for clothes." Ginger smiles as the three women step outside the building.

"I've got to get back to the hospital." CJ says kissing Margaret on the cheek. "I'm going to stop by and say hello to Leo."

"Tell him I'll be there later this afternoon." Margaret asks.

"I won't tell him you're going to use his credit card." CJ teases.

"Give the man a heart attack." Ginger grins. 

"Jack Callan's in for Leo and I've got some gossip for you from Donna." Ginger giggles leading Margaret towards her car once CJ has left them.

*

"How is he?" Margaret asks the doctor on duty outside of Leo's room. 

"He's progressing well, you can go in he's not asleep he's just resting his eyes." The doctor informs Margaret.

"Hi." She whispers taking Leo's hand in hers and sitting next to the bed.

"How long have you been here?" Leo asks blinking his eyes open.

"Twenty days." Margaret answers.

"No how long have you been here?" Leo repeats.

"I just walked in." She smiles because for the first time he looks better since being admitted.

"They let me walk around the room." Leo says pushing himself to sit upright, Margaret reaches behind him fluffing up the pillows expecting him to say something more but he lets the silence hang thick in the air.

"I'm sorry." It comes quietly but sincerely and Margaret feels a little choked up.

"It's all right, you just get better and come home soon ok." She requests kissing him on the forehead.

"How's my baby?"

"Healthy, happy and growing bigger everyday." Margaret smiles but biting her lip, knowing there's one other thing she needs to tell him.

"Are you all right?" He asks, the same question each day she's been to see him.

"Yes, Toby and Ginger are driving me bananas." 

"And eating me out of house and home." Leo adds with a cheeky grin.

"I'm putting on weight with Ginger's cooking, I don't know how she and Toby stay the size they are." Margaret laughs continuing till she starts to cry.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Leo asks obvious concerned.

"It's just so good to laugh, with Emma not responding absolutely to chemo, you in here sick and Toby and Ginger having sex in one of our beds every night while I sleep alone, I just can't believe how good it is to see you sitting up and talking and..." Margaret confesses continuing to cry.

"Toby and Ginger are having sex in one of our beds, which one?" Leo reiterates. "Wait!" Leo pauses. "This is still your second trimester, I'm missing the best bit."

"How about the birth!" Margaret says with mock astoundedness.

"Just don't be getting any ideas about wandering down the corridor into Toby and Ginger's room when you're feeling a bit...you know." Leo warns her.

"It's bedroom number four." Margaret smiles teasing him.

"When they're gone the bed gets burnt along with everything else." Leo instructs unable to stop smiling.

"I do miss you next to me at night." Margaret tells him and Leo's face drops.

"I know, I'm sorry." He says quietly.

"Sitting the rest of the second trimester out is your punishment." Margaret jokes.

"It was you walking through the door with your belly showing, all happy and glowing that made me feel better." He confesses.

"Thank you." Margaret says caressing the side of his face. "Oh!" She protests as she's kicked playfully from the inside out.

"What?" Leo asks confused, Margaret drawing his hand to her belly as the playful pushes continue.

"Is that..?" Leo asks amazed.

"Yes." Margaret nods a new batch of tears pool in her eyes.

"He's quite rough." Leo comments and Margaret doesn't let it pass.

"He?" She questions.

"You don't think it's going to be a boy?" Leo asks looking right at her.

"Honestly I don't care as long as he or she's some of you and some of me." Margaret says tenderly.

"This is the first time this has happened?" Leo asks moving his hands across her belly.

"First time." Margaret says without hesitation.

"I haven't missed anything."


	38. 38

I'm sorry I haven't been there for you guys lately." Margaret apologizes to Simon later that afternoon as she walks with him down the hallway of the Children's National medical center.

"That's fine, you need to worry about your baby and Leo." Simon excuses. "How's Leo doing?"

"Getting better everyday, he'll be able to come home by the end of the month." Margaret says enthusiastically.

"What about you?" Margaret asks hoping for good news.

"We've just had to choose a new physician, the one who was treating Emma has gone to another hospital, but the good news is she should be able to go home by the end of the month as well."

"Is choosing a new physician a hassle?" Margaret queries.

"It's just going over all the things we've asked ourselves before. What sort of track record does this person have for chemo treatment with children the same age as Emma. Do we feel comfortable with this person, do we get on, and do we have confidence in them? We did the same with this hospital, are they part of a pediatric oncology group, do they have a treatment team and a specialized oncology physician, what facilities are available for Emma and us. What is the hospitals visitation policy, can we stay the night if need be, how do they deal with chemotherapy side effects. It's part of the reason why we didn't start chemotherapy right away, other than it wasn't necessary for a few months, but CJ wanted to have everyone F.B.I. checked just about." Simon explains.

"And I guess there's cost." Margaret adds.

"CJ nearly fainted when she found out it's a hundred and fifty thousand." Simon says seriously.

"You're kidding?" Margaret says seriously.

"No and a bone marrow transplant is two hundred and fifty thousand."

"I don't want to pry but are you and CJ ok?" Margaret asks carefully, Simon stops walking and looks at Margaret with sad eyes making heart beat at the prospect it might not be the best answer.

"We're best friends and each others greatest source of strength." Simon says honestly. "I don't know what I ever did without her."

*

Gently and lovingly Leo takes Margaret's left nipple into his mouth sucking at it while fondling with the other between his fingers. Margaret sighs at his loving touch as he pulls his shirt from his back kissing his way down her abdomen.

"It's been too long." Leo says crawling back up her changing body to look her in the eyes.

"You're better now." Margaret dismisses cradling his head as he sucks gently at her other nipple and something in her brain clicks. It's only for a few seconds that Margaret manages to contain her laughter before it rings out through the silent room.

"Never had a woman do this to me before." Leo says looking up at her and a little put out.

"I'm so sorry." Margaret says continuing to smile widely.

"You want to let me in on the joke?" Leo asks impatiently.

"The last time I went to see Ella Reid she told me I had to start preparing my nipples for breast feeding so they are more flexible and are less likely to crack while the baby sucks. She told me I could roll them between my forefinger and thumb a few times or I could get you to suck them when we make love and here you are doing just that."

"So I'm...what here?" Leo asks confused.

"I just wanted to warn you before you got colostrum in your mouth." Margaret laughs.

"So I'm supposed to do this?" Leo asks taking one of Margaret's nipples back in his mouth again.

"Mmmm Hmmm." Margaret says unable to come up with anything more coherent.

"I'm liking this pregnancy thing." Leo replies continuing the nipple preparation.

*

"I was talking to CJ today." Margaret continues slicing for the meal she's preparing.

"Good to see Jack's working you hard." It's fast approaching Margaret's sixth month of pregnancy and the inevitable inability to hide it was upon her. Not that she wanted to, Leo's home still on oxygen but he's home and that meant Ginger and Toby went home and Margaret went back to work. It was irrelevant that when the alarm went off at six she faced a twelve hour day, for the past month or so as Leo was laid up in bed, Margaret felt useless. Abbey had come past to say hello, or check up on her as she had labeled it.

"She said Emma's finally into consolidation chemotherapy, CJ's back working a couple of days and Emma is having her chemo put into her central nervous system to knock out those last few cells and prevent them spreading."

"Life is almost normal." Leo quips and lets the room fall back into silence except the sound of Margaret at the cutting board.

"I talked to Jed today." Leo begins and it catches Margaret's attention because Leo never refers to The President by his first name. She puts the knife down slowly turning to face him.

"I talked to him about retiring." Leo says slowly and Margaret looks down to her stomach. "Passing the baton."

"To Jack Callan?" Margaret questions holding back the cringe that wants to come out.

"No to Josh, with Jack as deputy." Leo offers.

"Is it what you want?" Margaret asks coming to sit next to Leo at the table.

"Of course not." Leo laughs.

"You had one setback, you had a month off, it's probably done you good." Margaret offers.

"I thought you'd jump at the chance to have me home all the time."

"I just want what's best for you." Margaret says sealing it with a kiss.


	39. 39

"Good morning." Leo greets Ella Reid beating her to the punch.

"Someone's keen and welcome back." Ella says opening Margaret's medical file. "How's everything been ? Do we want pictures this month?"

"Yes." Leo jumps in.

"Guess I don't have a choice then." Margaret says finding it more difficult to get herself up onto the table.

"All right, on the scoreboard this month, your baby is thirteen inches and weighs one pound seven ounces. The skin is less red and is covered in lanugo, as I told you last month, but the skin is wrinkled because it lacks fat."

"I wasn't here." Leo protests.

"Lanugo is the fine hair that covers your baby at the moment. Fat is being deposited under the skin from now. Your baby's eyelids have separated but there's a dull membrane covering the pupils, the head is still comparatively large." Ella finishes.

"How do you feel?" It's the standard question.

"Good." Margaret answers and for the first time in a month she does.

"Well I'll see you next month and from there on in, it's once a fortnight."

"Thank you." Margaret glows.

*

"Are you ready?" Margaret calls from the foyer almost a month later.

"I'm coming." Leo calls as the baby wiggles and kicks inside Margaret.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back to work, you've only just come off the oxygen." Margaret asks in concern.

"I'm feel brand new." Leo sprouts.

"We all know that's not true." Margaret mutters bending uncomfortably over to pick up her bag.

"Hey!" Leo protests.

"Remember I'm pregnant." Margaret warns and Leo softens running his hands over where their child lies.

"I love you." He kisses Margaret quickly on the lips. "And you." He says kissing Margaret growing stomach. "And I can't believe I ever uttered that dirty R word." Leo finishes practically floating out of the house.

"Your daddy will never retire." Margaret laughs to her unborn child pulling the door locked after her.

*

"Do you know what the first rule of house painting is?" Margaret asks leaning against the doorway to the nursery.

"Pay someone to do it?" Leo grunts.

"Ground sheet." Margaret replies as Leo steps back to inspect his work.

"Are you sure this isn't too bland?" Leo asks looking at the off white color Margaret has chosen.

"Well...." She draws out looking at the wall. "This is a dark room so the white will lighten it, we don't know the sex of our baby and it is a neutral color, plus this way we can put posters of Sesame Street and things up without clashing too much." Margaret considers.

"I think I missed my calling." Leo says obviously pleased with the job he's done.

"I'm not sure about this feature wall." Margaret says spinning to look at the one wall that was going to be painted a different color.

"Please God." Leo sighs.

"How about we wallpaper this instead of painting it, a child's pattern, clouds and stars, animals, birds and fish or balloons and streamers." Margaret suggests.

"We're paying someone." Leo says dropping the paint brush.

"That would be a good idea I think." Margaret agrees inspecting the paint stained front of Leo's shirt.

"Besides we can spend our time buying furniture." Leo suggests and Margaret's face drops.

"CJ and I arranged to go shopping tomorrow." Margaret informs him.

"I'm not good at that stuff anyway." Leo admits happily.

*

"Just don't...go overboard." Leo requests the next morning handing Margaret his credit card.

"Have I ever?" Margaret asks her eyes narrow as Leo searches his memory bank.

"No, you're right, you're the tightest person I know." Leo says lovingly kissing her on the cheek.

"Goodbye." Leo says kissing Margaret's belly only to get kicked in the face. "Ohhh don't go." He requests as he looks down at Margaret's belly, waiting for the kicking to begin again.

"You only want the good stuff." Margaret complains. "You're not the one who's being woken at three in the morning by being kicked."

"Sometimes you do sleep close to me." Leo reminds her and Margaret rolls her eyes as the phone starts ringing.

"You'd better get that." Margaret instructs knowing it could be the White House and Leo might not be here when she gets back.

"It's CJ." Leo says handing Margaret the phone. He leaves his hands across her belly, watching her face twist and contort with each of CJ's words. When Margaret hangs up she looks downtrodden, the energy from a moment ago sucked from her.

"The chemotherapy isn't killing the last of Emma's leukemia cells, they're adding new drugs. The doctors are preparing CJ and Simon for the fact Emma might need a bone marrow transplant. Emma is going back to hospital, CJ can't come shopping today."

"You hear that little guy, we're counting on you to save a life." Leo says looking back down at Margaret's belly. "I'm counting on you too." He adds to his wife.

"I know." Margaret whispers.

"Guess you're stuck taking me shopping." Leo says trying to boost the situation. "We'll go by the hospital." He promises.

"You can't come in." Margaret reminds him.

"I know."

*

"No ultrasound this month." Ella Reid greets. "You guys must have so many pictures."

"Leo has one framed on his desk." Margaret laughs.

"It's in my desk drawer." Leo protests.

"I have some things you'll want to talk about instead this month." Ella says pulling out Margaret's chart. "At seven months your baby is about fifteen inches and about two pound two ounces. It's body is thin and the skin is reddish covered with a creamy waxy substance called vernix caseosa which is manufactured by the glands in the skin. Your baby's eyes are open and the membrane that was covering the pupils is gone. At the moment your baby is settled in many different positions. Because it's surrounded by so much water it's been free to move around."

"Like an astronaut." Margaret jokes.

"Yes." Ella smiles. "You've got some of the pictures from past ultrasounds of the different positions your baby has been in. The cephalic position has your baby with its head down, the transverse position has your baby lying across your belly and breech is when your baby has it's head upwards and its buttocks downwards."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Leo asks concerned.

"Closer to term it is yes, you'll find in the next two weeks the baby's head will settle over the pelvis with the buttocks in the upper part of the uterus, except for a few small changes he...or she will remain in that position till birth."

"So it's Ok?" Margaret asks.

"Enjoy it, enjoy the little movements and kicks." Ella smiles at Leo and Margaret.

*


	40. 40

"Where have you been?" Leo asks as Margaret drops her keys on the foyer table.

"I've been doing something with something that came in the mail the other day." Margaret replies sitting on the couch and leaning into Leo.

"Something that came in the mail?" He questions flicking through all that Saturday TV has to offer.

"The cord blood donation kit came." Margaret answers bringing Leo's hands to her belly as their baby moves inside her.

"You're only just eight months pregnant." Leo exclaims.

"I know." Margaret says struggling to sit up. "I spoke to Simon today, they've put Emma on the Bone Marrow Transplant list."

"Ok." Leo says accepting her explanation. "So where have you been?"

"There were several copies of a booklet called the Umbilical Cord Blood Collection Instructions. I posted one to Ella Reids office, the other I gave to the Labor and Delivery Nurse's station at the hospital for them to review."

"Why Dr. Reid?" Leo questions.

"She's my obstetrician. I then called FedEx to arrange them to take the blood to the cord blood bank and I made sure the kit is upstairs, ready to be packed." Margaret sighs.

"Are we ready then?" Leo asks.

"We've just got to notify them once the baby is born, give them the date and time of the delivery, the courier service we are using and the estimated time of arrival of the blood at their lab, there's a toll free pager number that we can call them on with this information, it operates twenty four hours." Margaret explains.

"Have you told Simon and CJ?" Leo asks.

"Not yet." Margaret shakes her head.

"Why don't you go and see them now." Leo suggests.

*

"Hi." Margaret says trying to be positive as she steps inside Emma's room.

"Hey." Simon smiles then looking back at CJ standing over Emma in the bed.

"How is she?" Margaret asks and Simon directs her out into the hall.

"She's not responding as well as we'd like, the leukemic cells are slowly coming back." Simon explains looking back into the room.

"CJ said you guys were considering marrow transplant." Margaret shifts from one leg to the other.

"They usually decide on the basis of the features of the leukemia, the age of the patient, the benefits and risks. If Emma didn't have such a poor response to treatment now she's relapsing they wouldn't have considered it." Simon explains.

"I've put everything in place for the cord blood donation." Margaret explains looking up at Simon hopefully.

"It's not a miracle cure." He says grateful none the less. "But it'll give her the best chance we can." Silently in the middle of the hall as nurses pass them by, Simon embraces Margaret.

"CJ's been going through the alphabet of things we're supposed to be doing." Simon says sadly looking in at his wife. "C for communication, honest and open with your child. T for today, live one day at a time...she hates that one. G for guilt, separate the illness from anything your child has done. T for three words, don't be afraid to say I don't know. F for fear, asking your child what she is thinking gives her a chance to express her fears. I for independence, let your child control some things about the treatment. B for boundaries, set reasonable limits a child still needs normalcy. N for new standard, recognize your child will have good and bad days. A for anxiety, encourage your child during play time to reduce anxiety. A for advocacy, stand up for your child, you know them better than the treatment team. A is for anger, direct your child's anger at the disease, use names such as 'bad cells' and 'bad disease'. A is for assurance, reassure your child that even though you love them you have to leave. That one breaks CJ's heart every time. F is for friends, they are important to your child. E is for encouragement, encourage her to set a good example of strength and determination."

Margaret says nothing letting silence absorb around them.

"She's looking for something she's done wrong along the way." Simon says his voice trembling. "Nothing, she's done nothing and she knows it and now it's eating at her that she's helpless. She's been a perfect mother and a perfect wife, she was so brave while I had to be away I love her and I don't know what I'd do without her through this." 

*

"Ginger asked if we were going to be home this afternoon." Leo calls a couple of Saturday's later.

"We're not, Dr. Reid is coming in on a Saturday especially for us we can't back out." Margaret reminds him.

"I know I told her, she said she might drop around tonight." Leo says entering the bedroom.

"What does she want?" Margaret questions pushing her earring through her ear.

"She didn't say." Leo watches Margaret in the mirror.

"We should go and see CJ after." Margaret suggests and Leo's face betrays his not wanting to go.

"Not today, there's something else I have planned."

*

"How's the expectant mother?" Ella greets upon her arrival.

"I'm so sorry about making you come in on a Saturday." Margaret apologizes.

"Don't worry...I got the information you posted me." Ella says flicking open Margaret's chart.

"I hope it's all right." Margaret questions nervously.

"It's fine, more women should donate their cords. You know sometimes they're sold to cosmetic companies for chemicals used in skin-softening creams." Ella explains and Margaret wonders if she's ever wear cosmetics again.

"My friend CJ, who was here with me a couple of months ago, she suffered two miscarriages and now her daughter has leukemia, we're saving our babies cord to donate to Emma so she can have some new stem cells." Margaret explains.

Ella Reid nods not knowing what to say, sadness hangs in the air with silence.

"I'd like to do an abdominal examination, just to feel where the baby is sitting, if you could get up on the old table friend." Ella requests after a moment and Margaret struggles to lift herself under the weight.

"Seventeen inches long and four pounds in weight. The skin is still red and wrinkled but slowly fat is being deposited. The bones of your baby's head are soft and flexible, the lungs have developed and can support life outside of you." Ella explains.

"Everything is still all right?" Leo asks as his phone trills, he excuses himself taking the quick call outside.

"Everything is fine." Ella says reassuringly.

*


	41. 41

"Who was on the phone?" Margaret asks lowering herself into the car.

"It was the President, checking I wasn't working today." Leo lies starting the car. It was Ginger confirming that they're on their way home.

"I'd really like to see CJ today." Margaret insists.

"You will." Leo assures her pointing the car in the direction of home.

*

"Leo what are you doing?" Margaret asks shuffling into the house blinded by Leo's hands covering her eyes.

"Just keep walking." He requests smiling at the guests in the living room.

"This is really dangerous." Margaret warns, "If I trip and fall I could...."

"SURPRISE!" The group calls as Leo pulls his hands away from Margaret's eyes. Sitting surrounded by gifts, balloons and other decorations are Ginger, Carol, Bonnie and Donna, on the opposite couch CJ sits with a wide smile on her face and out of the kitchen steps Margaret's mother and some of her friends from home.

"You set this up." Margaret glares at Leo.

"Yes and now ladies I'm leaving you." Leo announces without the slightest hesitation.

"Where are you going?" Margaret tilts her head.

"Men's gathering in the residence, The President, Josh, Sam and Toby, have fun ladies." Leo calls.

"Don't I get a kiss goodbye." Margaret requests.

A chorus of Ohhh's round the room as Leo kisses her sweetly goodbye. "Have a good time." He whispers.

*

"I promise I'll clean the house bottom to top." Ginger says bringing out another plate of food.

"Ginger how is it you and Toby don't put on weight?" CJ asks.

"We get a lot of exercise, the marital type." Ginger explains and some of the gathered group make gagging noises.

"What?" Ginger smiles looking around. "I know how to keep my man happy." She jokes.

"Who's this from?" Margaret asks lifting up a plain envelope.

"It's from Simon and me." CJ says softly watching a Margaret opens the envelope pulling out the hand made and decorated golden card. On the front in big bold letters are the initials I.O.U.

by AngelWatchin

If God wanted money to show what you are worth, 

There wouldn't be a penny left here on earth. 

If I had to thank you for all my dreams, 

Thank you wouldn't cover it by no means. 

I owe you so much and can't say enough, 

For giving all your love even when I know it was tough. 

I'm glad you kept the faith and held my hand, 

I know throughout my life you've been my biggest fan. 

I'll never have lots of money so my love will have to do, 

Guess what nothings changed I guess I'll always owe you!

Underneath the poem in CJ's and then Simon's handwriting the personal notes reads. 

"This is our I.O.U to you, wherever you are and whatever you need, Simon and I are only a phone call away. No request you ever make, advice you ever seek or favor you ask will ever make up for what you're doing for us now."

"What is it?" Donna asks breaking Margaret out her spell.

"It's a certificate for some pampering at a spa." Margaret lies covering her desire to cry with a smile.

"I have games planned." Ginger announces. "First one is set up in the kitchen."

"You go I'll be there in a minute." Margaret promises staying seated with CJ as the other laugh on their way to the next room.

"Simon and I don't have much money at the moment, I'm sorry we couldn't get you more." CJ explains as Margaret's eyes tears up.

"CJ you didn't have to get me anything, you didn't even have to come."

"If you ever need anything, I mean anything, a cup of flour, a babysitter, a vital organ." CJ offers and the two women laugh. "Simon and I are so grateful and indebted to you. We just can't think of anything tangible that could possibly express just how grateful we are to you and Leo."

"You don't need to owe us anything." Margaret says wiping the tears from her bottom eyelids. CJ pulls Margaret in to hug her the best she can past her enormous stomach.

"Ow!" CJ protests as she feels the baby move. "I felt that."

"It's making sure we know coming out time is soon." Margaret laughs.

"Have you decided on names?" CJ asks as they head to the kitchen to join the others.

"No don't be silly, Leo and I never talk about the big things for some reason they always fall right into place." Margaret explains.

*

"Are you all right?" Leo asks into the darkness as Margaret rolls over in bed again.

"No, the baby is up to my ribcage and it's causing me some discomfort to breathe. I've been walking around with my shoulders thrown back all day so I can balance and now my back is aching." Margaret explains.

"You're almost there." Leo says soothingly turning on the light and massaging Margaret's lower back to bring some relief. "Less than a month."

"I know but God..." Margaret sighs.

"The pride of pregnancy that stance is called." Leo says massaging in another spot.

"I call it giving me backache of a night." Margaret sighs getting some relief from Leo's hands. "And I'm sweating like I never had before."

"Ella said that was due to dilated blood vessels from the pregnancy." Leo recalls.

"Heartburn." Margaret groans shifting in her position.

"I'll get you some milk and some extra pillows." Leo offers disappearing for a moment.

"There is literally nothing I don't think my uterus is pressing on now, even my stomach, causing this." Margaret groans settling back against the pillows Leo has bought her.

"Not long now." Leo says soothingly again.

*


	42. 42

"Where are you going?" Leo asks a week later watching Margaret pack up a small over night bag. "This isn't a good time to ask for a divorce." He jokes.

"I'm packing a bag to take to the hospital. Three pairs of pajamas, two bras, robe, slippers, handkerchiefs, toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, face cloth, hair brush, mirror a book and baby clothes." Margaret checks off.

"Someone's keen." Leo observes.

"And the cord blood donation kit." Margaret adds.

*

"Feeling uncomfortable?" Ella Reid asks as she examines the position of the baby.

"I was but something seems to have dropped." Margaret explains unable to hide the confusion in her voice.

"We call that 'lightening'." Ella says giving it a name. "They baby's head has dropped into your pelvic cavity and so the upper part of your uterus has dropped relieving the pressure under your ribs."

"I am breathing easier." Margaret remarks.

"It usually occurs suddenly, some women wake up one morning and the pressure and discomfort is gone. Unfortunately now the pressure on your pelvis is likely to cause more vaginal discharge and pressure on your bladder." Ella continues.

"Up and down all night to the bathroom." Leo comments.

"As well as that you should have been experiencing some painless uterine contractions, they'll continue and become more frequent." Ella finishes.

"That's not labor is it?" Leo asks.

"No, at this stage I'd like to do a final pelvic examination. I'm looking for the size of the pelvis and the baby's head in relation to it as well as the softness and degree of opening of the cervix." Dr. Reid explains as Margaret changes into the gown.

"Will this put me into labor?" Margaret asks.

"No and it should be painless because the pelvic tissue at this time are soft and they stretch easily. I just need you to relax your muscles." Ella requests as she commences the examination. "You're baby is about eighteen and a half inches and weighs about five and a half pounds, quite a weight gain in the last month. This is because the fat deposits I've been telling you about are beneath the skin, particularly the shoulders. The baby has filled out and the skin looks less wrinkled while the finger nails have reached to the end of the fingers."

"Is everything Ok?" Margaret asks nervously.

"Everything is fine." Dr. Reid says reassuringly.

*

"Whoa shouldn't you be somewhere having a baby?" Simon greets as he opens the door to Leo and Margaret.

"I'm not due yet." Margaret struggles. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"You know where it is." Simon says closing the door after him.

"What are you doing?" Leo asks seeing the kitchen table covered in paperwork.

"CJ and I have been looking at transplant hospitals and answering questions we had." Simon explains.

"I thought Emma's hospital did transplants."

"They do, but we wanted to shop around, so we began asking ourselves how many cord transplants had been performed at each center, how long the program has been there, the number of doctors on the team and whether they rotate or are assigned to a patient. Is treatment based on standard or research protocols, are other specialists available should complications arise, is there access to blood, can designated blood be sent in, what is the experience of the nursing staff do they train continually, are they trained to work in pediatrics, what is the nurse to patient ration, are there private rooms, accommodation near the hospital, can CJ stay with Emma, can they provide follow up physicians back in DC?"

"What did you come up with?" Leo asks.

"The University of Minnesota's BMT program was by far the most impressive." Simon sighs.

"You'll be on a private plane there tomorrow, no arguments." Leo says firmly.

*

"You understand why I can't come." Margaret says squeezing CJ's hand on the ground next to the plane.

"You're pregnant."

"No, Leo can't afford to rent the jumbo jet I need to get me there." Margaret jokes.

"Thank you." CJ says hugging Margaret over her belly.

"Take care, it'll be fine and call us won't you." Margaret requests.

"We'll keep you updated." CJ calls waving as she steps onto the plane. On the tarmac Leo puts an arm around Margaret.

"This has to work." He whispers.

*

"I'm thirty nine weeks." Margaret groans as Ella Reid enters the consultation room.

"And a little impatient from the sound of it." She jokes.

"Our friend's daughter really needs the cord blood." Leo says softly.

"Well I could induce." Ella offers but Margaret shakes her head firmly.

"Tell me about forty weeks."

"Twenty inches long and about seven pound three ounces. Your baby's skin is smooth, the lanugo almost gone except on the shoulders but the skin is still covered by the vernix caseosa. The head is covered by a variable amount of hair, there's still a soft diamond shaped soft area above the forehead and a Y shaped area at the back of the head. The baby's eyes are open, a dull slate color that will change to permanent color later. The head is now proportionate to the body's length and the ears and nose are well formed." Ella explains and adds a little sigh at the end.

"Ok." Margaret says with a bob of her head.

"You're signed into the hospital and you've been attending the prenatal classes?" Ella confirms.

"Yes."

"You know the signs of labor to look out for?" Ella adds.

"Yes." Margaret says smiling.

"You've registered at the hospital and had a look around."

"A couple of weeks ago." Leo supplies.

"Then all that's left to do is wait...oh by the way, sex has been known to induce labor." Dr. Reid adds cheerfully.

*


	43. 43

For twenty minutes Leo has laid listening to Margaret toss and turn next to him, accompanied by the occasional groan.

"Are you Ok?" He asks pressing his lips to her bare shoulder.

"Contractions." Margaret mumbles turning onto her back.

"Contractions." Leo squeaks getting up and turning the light on. "We've got to get to the hospital."

"I'm not going anywhere." Margaret says putting her foot down.

"You're not having a home birth, you're not having the baby here in this bed." Leo says adamantly.

"Good because I'm not having a baby." Margaret sighs closing her eyes again.

"What are you..?" Leo asks astounded grabbing at her packed bag and cord donation kit.

"It's false labor Leo." Margaret explains.

"False, true what's the difference?" Leo asks pulling on clothes.

"Babies don't pop out from false labor." Margaret explains as Leo settles, dressed half for bed and half for hospital.

"Is this the first time?" Leo asks settling on the bed next to her.

"No it's been happening all week at night, the contractions are irregular in duration and irregular in intervals. They're not increasing in intensity or strength as time passes and by about midnight one they're gone." Margaret remains.

"Where does it hurt?" Leo asks.

"My back and lower abdomen." Margaret explains feeling Leo get off the edge of the bed and then depress the other side before his hands massage her through the pain.

"I'm glad you're calm because I'm a wreck." Leo says softly.

"I know."

*

"Did you speak to CJ today?" Leo asks over dinner a couple of days later.

"She was telling me she's very happy with the hospital, they have much higher doses of chemotherapy going into Emma while they wait for the cord. She's having all sorts of side effects." Margaret explains.

"Does she have to have higher doses when the cord blood is ready?" Leo inquires

"Yes and this time it's given to her over a few days not a few weeks." Margaret nods picking up her plate and waddling to the kitchen. 

"It won't be long." Leo reminds her wandering into the middle of the kitchen to find Margaret frozen in the middle. "What's wrong?" He asks alarmed.

"I think I just felt a contraction." Margaret answers looking down at her belly.

"We've got to go!" Leo says dropping his dirty plate and heading upstairs.

"I'm not going anywhere." Margaret says when he comes back down with her bags in hand.

"Margaret!" He says exasperated.

"I felt a contraction at the beginning of the meal, it lasted only thirty seconds, that was over twenty minutes ago, if I show up at hospital they're either going to laugh at me, or give me a wheel chair to sit in for the next few hours." Margaret explains.

"In the mean time." Leo asks putting down the bags.

"We clean up the kitchen and you..." Margaret instructs reaching into a drawer. "Play time keeper." She says pulling out a stop watch. 

"When do we go?" Leo asks.

"When the contractions are at ten minute intervals." Margaret says wiping down the table.

*

"Oh!" Margaret says walking around the living room.

"What?" Leo says coming instantly to her side.

"Well I can't be sure but I think that was the show." Margaret says continuing to walk.

"The show?" Leo questions like someone short on information.

"You remember from class, the mucus that has been acting as a plug for the cervical canal has dislodged." Margaret reminds him.

"Right." Leo says trying to be supportive and not squeamish.

"How long?" Margaret asks later, squeezing Leo's hand as he massages her back.

"Eleven minutes apart, we're going now if I have to force you into the car myself." Leo insists picking up their things, this time there's no arguments from Margaret.

*

"How are you?" Leo asks looking over as he weaves the car through the dark streets.

"I'm not in a huge amount of pain." Margaret cringes as Leo looks back on the road.

"How long between contractions?" Leo asks briskly.

"That one was eight minutes." Margaret breathes.

"Aren't your waters supposed to have broken or something?" Leo recalls.

"Only in about five percent of people waters break and then contractions start." Margaret reminds him.

"Hang on we're almost there." Leo says as he turns the corner towards the hospital. "You think there'd be a wheelchair." He comments as he helps Margaret out of the car.

"I'm not a cripple." She says through clenched teeth.

"Hello." The woman at the maternity ward check in desk says.

"McGarry." Leo says pointedly still clinging to Margaret.

"You've filled out your paperwork we'll get you to come on through." The woman says showing them to a homely like room. "This is Lilly, she'll be with you throughout the labor and birth."

"There's a couple of things we need to do on admission." Lilly tells them taking the bags and placing them on the bed. "We take your pulse, blood pressure, respiration and temperature."

"Is this where the baby is born?" Leo asks concerned watching the simple calculations being made.

"We'll move you down to another room as labor progresses, it still has all the home comforts but more facilities for after the baby is born." Lilly explains. "When did the contractions start?" She asks turning her attention to Margaret.

"I don't know." Margaret groans knowing she should know.

"Have you eaten anything?" Lilly continues strapping a fetal heart monitor around Margaret's abdomen.

"Dinner."

"A couple of hours ago?" Lilly asks and Leo nods. "You can't eat or drink anything from now on because during the process of labor the digestive system shuts down, have you're waters broken?" 

"No!" Leo says and Margaret looks down at the gentle trickle of liquid running down her leg.

"I guess that's a yes then." Lilly smiles. "The last thing is a pelvic examination to see how dilated you are."

"You're about six centimeters, you need to get to ten so it's going to be a little while yet." Lilly assesses once the waters have stopped. "You can stay her, have a shower if you wish but you can't have a bath because your waters have broken. I'm going to check back in with you again soon."

*


	44. 44

"It's time." Ella Reid smiles walking confidently through the room to where Margaret is supporting herself on the wall, Leo whispering comforting words and rubbing her lower back.

"Hi." Margaret gasps.

"I just want to do one last examination to make sure little McGarry is lying properly and isn't going to cause us trouble." Ella says guiding Margaret with Leo onto the bed.

"Do you intend to have a natural birth or an epidural?" Ella asks examining Margaret's abdomen as she feels another contraction coming.

"She'll take the epidural." Leo answers without hesitation.

"I need to get a urine sample just to check you're not dehydrated." Ella cringes.

"I'm not dehydrated!" Margaret says through clenched teeth but complies, taking the jar nonetheless.

*

"Margaret please lie down." Leo pleads as she supports herself against the wall, Leo dabs hear sweating forehead with a cool cloth as they're surrounded by Lilly and the delivery nurse Vicki.

"Gravity." Margaret manages and Leo looks to the nurses for a translation.

"Mr. McGarry, women who use upright positions for labor are likely to need less pain relief, they're more likely to have shorter labors with less need to artificially speed up the labor. Gravity will encourage the baby down the birth canal." Kelly explains as she checks dilation.

"Support Margaret under her arms so she can squat." Lilly instructs looking over at Kelly.

"You're ten centimeters Mrs. McGarry it's time to start pushing." Kelly says smiling.

"Pain." Margaret gasps, they know it's time for the drugs to come out.

*

"Margaret you need to get up on the bed if we're going to give you the epidural." Ella soothes guiding Margaret to the bed who is still supported by Leo. "You know an epidural could cause vomiting and because you'll have no sensation to pain you might find it difficult to use your abdominal muscles to push during contractions."

Margaret nods, the features of her face crinkled together.

"Ok." Ella says asking a nurse to get the anesthetist.

"I know you want to kill me right now, but I love you and you're doing great." Leo whispers into Margaret hair.

"Part of me wants to string you up, the other knows it'll be over soon." Margaret says resting between contractions. "And even sooner I won't feel anything."

*

"The baby's crowning." Ella says delighted to the exhausted Margaret who is relieved she only has to pant quietly unless Ella instructs her to push. "Only a couple of minutes now, I'm just going to give you an injection to help the placenta to expel quicker."

"It won't effect..?" Margaret pants and squeezes Leo's hand.

"Don't worry about a thing." Ella says reassuringly watching the progression of the last of the birth. "Lilly is going to take care of everything."

"Welcome to the world baby McGarry." Ella says as the newborn jerks it's arms and legs, blinks its eyes and extends and clasps its fingers lying between Margaret's legs. The nose and throat are cleared of mucus with a tiny rubber tube attached to a suction bulb as Margaret watches exhausted. "Would dad like to cut the cord?"

The baby takes it's first lungful of oxygen with an almighty cry. "Couldn't I..?"

"You won't do any damage in relation to the blood donation." Ella assures him handing over the medical scissors and indicating where to cut.

"Here you go mom." Ella says handing the newborn up to Margaret who cuddles and coos over her new baby with Leo for a few minutes.

"You did so good." Leo says tenderly.

"We both did, I love you." Margaret replies. "And you." she adds to the latest addition to the family.

"I should go call, but I'll be back." Leo promises having separation anxiety already.

"We'll be here." Margaret promises looking down at her newborn.

*

Inside the dark Minnesota hospital the telephone shatters the early morning calm of the hospital. The clock is glowing five thirty, too early to be awake. A lone hand fumbles for the receiver taking a couple of rings to reach the unfamiliar phone. The end of the ringing is accompanied by a mumbling from the person in the other side of the bed.

"Hello." Simon says sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"Simon, we had a boy, I have a son." The excited voice comes down the line.

"Leo?" Simon asks his brain still sleep hazy.

"Margaret gave birth to a boy, about ten minutes ago." Leo says unable to contain his excitement.

"Congratulations." Simon says sitting straight up in bed and turning on the light, next to him CJ protests and sits up herself.

"How is she?" Simon asks as CJ wanders towards the bathroom.

"She's great, she's tired but she's so happy." Leo sighs satisfied.

"Is that Leo?" CJ asks coming to sit on the bed next to Simon, he hands the phone over to her.

"We had a boy CJ, he looks just like Margaret. Kiss Emma for us and tell her she'll feel better soon." Leo says.

"Bye." CJ whispers putting back the phone and hugging Simon tightly, it won't be long now.

*

"I called the donation line, CJ and Simon, your parents, Mallory and I woke the President." Leo announces with a wide smile on his face when he re-enters the room.

"You forgot Toby and Ginger." Margaret reminds him, her hands empty of their new son.

"Where is he?" Leo asks concerned.

"Over here." Ella says. "We're just checking for any birth defects and weighing and measuring."

"Ok." Leo accepts kissing Margaret on the forehead. 

"Did you talk to CJ?" Margaret queries sleepily.

"I told her to kiss Emma for us and tell her she'll feel better soon." Leo informs her.

"Twenty inches and seven pound four ounces." Ella informs them proudly. "Just time for a quick bath."

Leo watches as the white and greasy vernix is removed. "What are you doing?" Leo asks watching Kelly apply a cleansing agent go on his son.

"We don't remove all of the vernix anymore, we leave an invisible layer to protest your son from germs that could settle on the skin and cause infections." Kelly explains.

When he's clean and wrapped in another blanket Kelly lies him in Margaret's arms.

"He looks like you." Leo says looking at the tiny features of his face.

"We haven't got name." Margaret smiles at her new son.

"What do you think?" Leo asks.

"I like Anthony." Margaret looks up for approval.

"What about Anthony Lloyd McGarry?" Leo asks.

"You're fathers name as a middle name?" Margaret questions.

"I think he deserves a second chance so I'd like to give it to him." Leo says positively.

"Anthony Lloyd McGarry." Margaret repeats.

*


	45. 45

"Sir, tell me you didn't shut the hospital." Leo groans seeing the President swelling with pride as he powers down the hallway.

"Where's Margaret?" The President grins.

"She's in there asleep, she had to ask for a sedative so she could sleep because she was too excited." Leo explains smiling and shaking his head.

"Well where is?" The President gets to the point.

"You have to be quiet." Leo instructs and then does a double take realizing he's handing out instructions to his commander in chief.

"Protective aren't we?" Jed Bartlet teases pushing open the door and walking quietly to the crib next to Margaret's bed. "Oh Leo." He breathes.

"Sir?"

"He looks like Margaret...what's his name?" The President asks looking back at him.

"Anthony Lloyd." Leo says positively and Jed Bartlet's eyes open wider.

"Lloyd?" He questions.

"Everyone deserves a second chance, I had mine with alcohol and pills and now with Margaret." Leo explains.

"You've done what I could never achieve." The President congratulates him with a manly arm around his shoulder as the two men stand and watch the baby sleep.

*

"Where are you going?" Leo asks seeing Margaret get out of bed the next morning.

"I'm getting the blood flowing again, I've been in bed for twenty four hours." Margaret explains noticing the basket of flowers in Leo's hand. "Who are they from?"

"I don't know." Leo says settling them next to the bed and handing Margaret the card. She reads it through, surprise writing over her face when she reads the name.

"Who is it?" Leo repeats Margaret's earlier question.

"Congratulation on your first born child, hope your son leads a happy and healthy life." Margaret reads and pauses looking up at Leo. "From Jenny O'Brien."

Leo looks over at the floral arrangement and back to Margaret not knowing what to say.

*

"It's too early." Leo insists helping Margaret to pack regardless.

"I want to get out of here and home. I'm lactating, I can bath him, I know what cry means 'feed me', 'change me' and 'burp me'." Margaret sighs. 

"Everyone has been in to visit you." Leo adds

"Take me home to my comfortable bed and quiet bedroom." Margaret requests wrapping her arms around him.

"Your mother wants to come and stay to help out initially." Leo says on their way out to the car.

"No." Margaret shakes her head vehemently.

"I think it would be a good idea, J-" Leo stops himself.

"Jenny what? It's all right." Margaret says stopping at the car, "you can say it, it's ok."

"Jenny's mother came and helped her out with the housework and things so Jenny could spend her time with Mallory and she got up sometimes during the night. Occasionally she looked after Mallory so Jenny could go out with her friends for lunch, so she wasn't so isolated." Leo explains.

"You haven't lived a day with my mother." Margaret refuses.

"Is it my turn?" Margaret asks snuggling in closer to Leo as Anthony cries that night.

"What type of cry is it?" Leo asks looking at the clock.

"Changing I think." Margaret mumbles.

"Stay I can take care of this one, you can take the hungry ones."

*

"Hello I'm home." Leo calls as he walks through the front door a month later. From the foyer he can hear Margaret crying and he drops everything in his hands rushing to where she's sitting on the couch.

"Hey what?" He asks gently brushing away her tears as Anthony rests in her arms.

"I can't seem to keep him happy." Margaret says through her sobs. "He cries so much more than I expected, I'm not sleeping of a night because I'm up and down to him. I don't even think I'm going to be a good mother, I don't seem to have the ability to cope with him and the house is a mess and I don't think my milk is working for him and then there's you because I've been ignoring you and..." Margaret can go no further tears streaming from her face, words blocked by sobbing.

"It's normal for you to feel this way." Leo says sitting next to her. "You're probably wondering how you'll cope with this small, selfish, constantly demanding infant." Leo smiles over at her. "You might even feel resentful towards him for being so darn effective at disrupting your life, worse than amendments to bills. You might even fell like you're a failure, but I'm here to tell you you're not, you're a wonderful mother, I've seen you with our son. You carry him with you everywhere and for that reason he doesn't cry nearly as much as Mallory did because he wants to be near where things are happening and I've seen the way you soothe and cuddle him and the way he smiles when you bath him, the way his big eyes look wide up at you when you play a game with him or read a book to him even though he doesn't know the words he knows it's his mother voice. The way you won't leave the room at night till you're sure he's asleep and then you wet your finger and place it under his nose to make sure he's still breathing because you're afraid of SIDS."

By this time Margaret is crying harder at Leo's words and in her arms Anthony squirms.

"Ok tiger." Leo says lifting Anthony into his arms. "We know you're a life-saver to be, but could we cut down on the diva antics, your mother needs a break." Leo says seriously holding Anthony at eye level and for the first time in weeks Margaret laughs only to be contradicted by Anthony who starts crying.

"He's hungry." Margaret says taking him back from Leo who tries unsuccessfully to lull his cries. He watches Anthony clamp onto Margaret's breast and suck happily away, his cries silenced. "What about you?" Margaret asks.

"Don't worry about me, I'm not going anywhere." Leo assures her kissing her tenderly and then getting carried away.

"Mmmmm." Margaret protests breaking the kiss. "He's a bit young to be introduced to pornography."

"It's not porn...How about I take a week off, you express some milk and I'll look after him for most of the time while you catch up on some sleep, some father son bonding time." Leo suggests.

"I'd love that." Margaret smiles kissing him this time.

*


	46. 46

"How does he do that?" Leo asks that night as Margaret sits on their bed feeding Anthony.

"Suck like this?" Margaret reiterates looking down where her hand is making sure Anthony's nose doesn't become blocked.

"I know how I do it." Leo grins sitting next to her.

"His need is a little different to your." Margaret says wryly. "Come here." She requests and Leo climbs to sit next to her.

"Open your mouth a little." With his mouth open a fraction Margaret points a half an inch of her index finger into his mouth. "Now close your mouth over my finger...Gently."

"Now what?" Leo mumbles opening his mouth slightly.

"Can you feel the tip of my finger?" Margaret asks wiggling it inside his mouth.

"It's not touching anything but I know it's there." Leo answers.

"When I breast feed Anthony my finger tip is my nipple and you have your mouth around my areola." Margaret explains. "The areola has a milk duct in it and when Anthony squeezes down on it with his gums the milk spurts out the nipple and into his mouth, when he relaxes to swallow the milk reservoir is filled again. The squeezing is how he gets the milk, sucking only keeps my breast in his mouth."

"So like this." Leo offers sucking at Margaret's finger.

"Please don't." Margaret requests smiling over at Leo.

"Why not?" Leo asks releasing her finger only to start kissing his way up her arm.

"Because sometimes doing this turns me on and I don't need you assisting, if you know what I mean." Margaret implies.

"Really." Leo says raising an eyebrow and moving in to kiss her. "When will he be asleep long enough for us to make love?"

"About two years time." Margaret jokes.

*

"There's some mail here for you." Leo says sitting on the bed a few weeks later, next to Margaret who is still dozing.

"I think I slept all night last night." Margaret yawns.

"So did Anthony." Leo smiles. "And not a day too soon because I have to go back to work tomorrow."

"I should get up and spend sometime with him." Margaret says as Leo breaks into a huge smile.

"What?" Margaret says defensively, pulling on her robe.

"It's just I took a week off to help you out and you haven't let him out of your sight for two minutes." Leo smiles wrapping his arms around her.

"So?" Margaret says softly resting her head in the nape of his neck.

"I love you." Leo's hand rubbing circles over her back.

"Where's the milk?" A gruff voice calls from down stairs and Margaret raises her head, her eyes questioning Leo.

"Toby's here with some work, I left him to make coffee." Leo explains and then calls. "Middle shelf of the fridge."

"Bring him downstairs, hey?" Leo requests smiling.

*

"How much sugar did you put in this?" Leo splutters to Toby as he pulls the mug from his lips.

"None." Toby says looking at him strangely over the paperwork, he takes a mouthful of his own coffee only to taste the same thing.

"Where did you get this milk from?" Leo asks suspiciously.

"The clear container on the top shelf of the fridge." Toby says absently returning to work before Leo starts laughing.

"What?" Toby questions watching Leo get up, then following him to the kitchen with his cup in hand.

"This?" Leo asks holding up the clear container, still smirking.

"Yeah." Toby confirms and Leo has to restrain himself from laughing.

"It's breast milk." Leo says looking over at Toby who looks seriously down into his cup.

"It's sweet." He says seriously before tipping the coffee into the sink and going back to work.

*

"Leo!" Margaret calls out a couple of minutes later before appearing with Anthony on her hip. "Hi Toby."

"What's wrong?" Leo asks looking up from the report he was reading.

"This is from the donation bank, everything's ready." Margaret says excited looking between the two men.

"Call CJ." Leo instructs, "then I'll get us out there somehow."

"Josh is going to throttle you, he needs a break." Toby says looking over at Leo.

"He won't mind a few more days."

*

"Where is he?" Ella Reid coos holding out her hands for Anthony. "Hello little man." She says smiling at him and gaining a smile in return as she wiggled him on her hip. "How's everything been?"

"Good." Margaret smiles. "And sometimes not so good."

"To be expected, I hear you're flying out tomorrow." Ella comments.

"Everything has been approved for the donation." Margaret smiles.

"We'll I'd better not hold you up because you'll want to pack." Ella smiles handing Anthony to Leo. "What I usually do is a cervical smear and another pelvic examination just to make sure your uterus is shrinking again."

"Ok." Margaret says as Anthony thrashes in Leo's arms.

"You're breast feeding?" Ella asks as she palpates Margaret's abdomen.

"Yes." Margaret says lifting her head a little.

"Have you thought about contraception yet because you should expect your period to return until he's about 6 months old." Ella asks.

"I'll just go back on the pill." Margaret says putting her head back down on the pillow.

"You should exercise caution now though because breast feeding isn't a total barrier towards pregnancy, you might consider using condoms in the short term...Everything is fine." Ella assesses and Margaret sits back up again. "Do you need another prescription for the pill?"

"No for now I think I'm right." Margaret recalls.

"Any other problems or questions?" Ella finishes up.

"No." Margaret smiles happily and then over at Leo.

"Well good luck with donation then." Ella smiles, opening the consultation door for them.

"See you next time." Leo says and surprised Margaret turns to look at him.

"Maybe not for a little while yet." Ella laughs closing the door as Leo wraps an arm around Margaret.

*


	47. 47

"Hello!" CJ says pulling Margaret into an embrace at their room door, over Margaret's shoulder she spots Anthony any releases Margaret opening her arms for the newborn.

"Didn't mean to ditch you there Margaret." CJ laughs curling Anthony's fingers around hers. "Hello little guy." She says softly, smiling down at him.

"Anthony?" Simon looks up from the baby to Leo and Margaret.

"Anthony Lloyd." Margaret answers.

"He's so perfect." CJ whispers passing him back to Margaret.

"How are you?" Margaret asks tilting her head to the side.

"Excited, we're so glad you could come." CJ smiles grabbing Simon's hand as he stands next to her. "And we're so grateful to you." CJ says tickling Anthony's tummy.

*

"So what happens?" CJ asks the doctor, biting her bottom lips outside Emma's room. Inside Emma plays happily with some building blocks with the therapist.

"The thawed blood will be here soon, when it arrives it'll be fed through the central line where it's infused into her bloodstream." The doctor explains looking at CJ, Simon, Leo and Margaret.

"The process takes about five minutes, it has to go in quickly because the cells are alive and looking for life. The important parts of the cord blood are the hematopoietic stem and progenitor cells, they're the ones that migrate to the bone marrow where they must lodge and engraft to grow and replenish the bone marrow and blood. They replace the diseased marrow and blood we destroyed with the high course of chemotherapy."

"How long will it take?" Simon asks nervously.

"Migration and engraftment usually takes about two to four weeks once they've hopefully been accepted by the body and engrafted, over the next 100 days the stem cells will rebuild Emma's blood bit by bit for the rest of her life."

"Are you ready?" Simon asks looking at CJ.

"Let's do it." She smiles.

*

"Who is it?" Margaret calls from the couch where she's feeding Anthony. Leo had gone to investigate the knock at the door and she was unable to make out the owners of the voices.

"It's us." CJ says appearing around the corner with Emma and Simon.

"Hi!" Margaret smiles. "I'd get up but someone has latched onto me."

"We came to see the new baby." CJ smiles encouraging Emma closer.

"You've got good timing because it's been almost seven minutes and I'm just about empty." Margaret tells them encouraging Emma to sit next to her. "Would you like to hold him?"

Emma nods shyly, watching Anthony suck away.

"Ok, you've got to sit back into the couch, put your arm on the edge." Margaret instructs placing Anthony gently into Emma's arms. The young girl smiles brilliantly at her mother and then down at the baby.

"Simon and I wanted to tell you something." CJ says calling to Simon who's still in the foyer talking to Leo.

"Emma's in remission, her leukemia cells are gone and her body is producing new blood everyday." CJ announces and Margaret's face lights up, her arms thrown around CJ's neck.

"Thank you." CJ says tearing up over Margaret's shoulder.

"Look at them." Leo indicates to Emma who is smiling with Anthony in her arms.

"They're our two tiny miracles." Margaret whispers.

*

"How'd it go?" Leo smiles broadly Anthony in his arms, Margaret has barely had time to drop her keys on the small foyer table.

"How'd what go?" Margaret asks absently holding her arms out for Anthony.

"The preparations for the party, Emma's two years remission celebration. How does the house look?" Leo asks eagerly, trying to interpret the look.

"I didn't go." Margaret says simply looking at Anthony and wiping his face.

"Where were you then?" Leo asks confused.

"I went to the doctor." Margaret answers with a small smile on her face.

"What's wrong?" Concern laced in his voice Leo steps closer.

"Nothing." And now Margaret is unable to hide her wide smile. "We're pregnant again."

Now Leo can't hide his smile the same size as Margaret's. "I love you." He grins kissing Anthony, "and you." A hand presses to Margaret's abdomen. "And you." He finishes tenderly, wrapping his arms around his growing family and kissing Margaret gently.

*


End file.
